fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1953 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1953 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Blue Mountain State]

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03.

[Bones]

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04.

[Berserk]

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05.

[Sucker Punch]

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06.

[Game of Thrones]

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07.

[One Direction/Big Time Rush]

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08. [bandwidth]

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09.

[Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle/Good Omens]

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10.

[One Piece]

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11.

[crusader kings/game of thrones]

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12.

[Space Guys In Space]

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13.

[Big Bang Theory]

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14.

[Journey]

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15.

[vlogbrothers,charlieissocoollike/Youtube RPF]

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16.

[Wives and Daughters]

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17.

[Captain Blood]

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18.

[Supernatural, Numb3rs]

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19.

[Star Trek]

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20.

[A-Team 2010]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #279.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Bones had talked about wanting to have a baby at least once before she actually got pregnant. And she'd even mentioned that Booth would be a good father (both genetically and otherwise). So she didn't just "accept her pregnancy" out of nowhere, they'd already established she kind of wanted to have a baby anyway.

Aaand this is why "childfree" people are generally looked upon with distaste.

I think there's a general issue with people who feel the need to declare their non-opinion and form a group about it in anything other than a passing or relevant sense. Don't want kids? Okay! I know lots of people who don't. They seem just the same as anyone else I've met. But every childfree community I've seen on the internet are simply repulsive.

It depends on where you are. Some are downright hateful towards parents and/or kids - but a lot is just people venting. The reason to get together is that there actually is quite a lot of societal pressure on us and it's nice to talk to like-minded people. I had ex-colleagues butting into the state of my ovaries.That's just unacceptable. I think that's what a lot of us are pissed off about.

Extremely unacceptable (and I say that as someone who does want kids, but has several child-free friends). It's too bad these busybodies don't speak Italian: I have a couple of sentences that would be very appropriate, but unfortunately they don't translate well.

Childfree communities just tend to be rant-based (aside from the contraceptive issues which are also posted to communities of that nature, which are relevant to our interests), because like any relative minority, it's extremely annoying to have to defend your choice/direction at every turn.

It's terribly wearing to have to put up with a constant when not if on the subject from people who feel differently to you. It grinds you down to have to deal with idiots going 'oh you will' or who give you a variety of irritating comments when presented with your answer to their question of children. It's different when it's you're own, you're selfish, you won't feel like that when you find the right man/woman, you obviously hate children (which isn't always the case)... ugh.

They're just places to vent because having that kind of behaviour directed at us for having a life choice that doesn't even affect the people around us in any way is really frustrating. Childfree people would seem less repulsive to the childless and the parents around us if, when they ask and we tell them we don't want kids, they refrained from making unfair, demeaning and foul comments about our choice. If they went 'oh, all right' we wouldn't need to discuss the issues of the lifestyle with like-minded people. It's simply catharsis.

Obviously the extreme individuals who use offensive words to describe parents make the rest of us look bad, but you often get that sort of thing in any group and it isn't representative of all of us as a whole.

Not involved with any groups online or otherwise, but I really do wish it was as easy as "Don't want kids? Okay!". As a woman in my mid-twenties who has never ever had any desire for children (for various reasons; I don't have any parental instincts, I don't particularly like children, I'm emotionally unstable, the idea of that kind of responsibility makes me run for the hills, etc.), I'd love for people to stop telling me that "It's a phase / I'm too young to know better / one day I'm gonna meet a great guy / etc." and that I'll change my mind. I'm not going to, but no one believes me.

I'm not familiar with this show, but it doesn't help that in popular culture, most female characters who don't initially show an interest in children or are even against having them (currently, I can think one female character who was open about not wanting kids and never had them off the top of my head), will still end up having kids in the end, because it just reinforces that idea not wanting kids really is just a phase. Of course, it is that for some people, but it still doesn't make it okay to tell others that they don't know what they want. The word childfree itself is just because childless implies the lack of something. You don't call yourself partnerless, either, just single. And I'm not saying that childfree communities can't be horrible places, but I don't think it's a non-issue, either.

Bones was vocal about not wanting kids in the first seasons, which I thought was really cool. It was just awesome to see a female character who is into science, is a money-making professional and doesn't want kids, you know. It's sad to me they chose to go another direction with the character.

I don't know why people try to tell people that they'll change their minds about having babies. /shrug. I mean, it doesn't affect them either way, does it? I don't get it at all.

My guess it's about confirmation. I mean, if everyone is having kids, they see it as a confirmation that having kids was the right choice for them. If they hear dissenting voices, often they take it as a personal attack on their lifestyle choice. Which, of course, is silly. I don't want everyone to stop having kids - I'm rather fond of humanity in my own way. I just have no desire to procreate, and humanity is not in danger of dying out if I refrain from popping out babies.

Honestly, I think the only parents who care about hating on average childfree people who haven't poked them are the ones who aren't sure they made the right choice in the first place. Which ... they can say what they want; I'm not the one who has to get up in the middle of the night for a crying baby. :-)

Yeah, I'll agree that the childfree communities are a hot mess, which is why I left... I joined in the first place because I was dealing with a lot of crap from my MIL (who upon being informed that pregnancy would probably kill me, decided to tell me "Oh God will fix everything" and "I'll pray for you - you'll be so happy when you have a baby") and preferred talking to a group of people who were like-minded rather than potentially accidentally hurting someone on my friends list.

I will say though that it gets frustrating to see every single character that says "I don't want kids" end up with kids anyway. Good lord, if I had a penny for every time I was told "You'll change your mind"... (I'm 27, have even less desire to be a parent than I did ten years ago). I mean, in individual cases I can understand, like -- (((spoiler for Mockingjay))) when Katniss expresses she doesn't want to have kids because she doesn't want to subject them to her life, but changes her mind later when that situation has changed. Or Arizona on Grey's Anatomy, who didn't want kids because working as a pediatric surgeon, she saw worst case scenarios all the time and was terrified. I mean, yeah, sometimes it makes sense.

But, I kinda wish that it wasn't so predicable that nearly every character that says that will change their mind.

"who upon being informed that pregnancy would probably kill me, decided to tell me "Oh God will fix everything" and "I'll pray for you - you'll be so happy when you have a baby"

What the actual fuck? That's just not right in the head....

[ SECRET POST #1953 ]

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