[ SECRET POST #1954 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1954 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #279.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Cont.

Secondly: Speaking of one-on-one fights, put your average asian guy against your average white guy and yes the asian guy will probably be lighter and shorter. This is very true. But- then you talk about things like kids who've been beaten by their dads and who've had harsh childhoods and... I don't think that's something that is exclusive to people who are White. I think there was a study once on the propensity of parents of various ethnicities to abuse their children (with abuse being defined by the study, what they really did was to ask the parents which particular behaviours out of a list they found acceptable) and the ones who were most likely to be extremely harsh -- to beat their kids, and so on -- were the Chinese ones. I apologise for not having this study on hand, it's been a while since I read it, but I can find it for you if you're interested. It was specific to my country, but again, I live in Asia. Physical violence against children is a common and entirely accepted norm. Kids get in fights a lot, but it's considered shameful to be seen in them, and even MORE shameful to actually lose. There's a lot that goes unsaid in communities here.

Thirdly (and this one's short!) -- you're very familiar with your culture, that's good. You know about how parents treat their children, and about drinking culture, and sports culture -- but just because you do not know of any Asian equivalents does not mean that they do not exist or are less likely to exist. It simply means you don't know of them.

Drinking is... a thing in Asia. Since you seem to be focusing on East-Asian communities here, drinking in business, drinking in pubs, it's actually quite a big thing. Sports fandom... again, it's not as if that's something that's exclusive to people who aren't Asian. There can and has been a considerable amount of off-the-pitch violence associated with sports like Cricket, which of course is usually also wrapped up with nationalistic pride and a bunch of other things.

Gang culture is also very common -- maybe you haven't seen it, in which case, good for you. Bu that doesn't mean that Asian gangs don't exist. Like technophile's pointed out, calls aren't often made and there's... definitely also a loss of face that's occured if you have to ask someone not your ethnicity to deal with a problem that's really meant to be kept in your community.

You might not take the idea of an Asian thug seriously because they've never directly threatened you or anyone you know. This does not mean Asian thugs don't exist, or that they don't threaten people in general. I understand why you're not intimidated by the thought of them, and that's fine, but to think or assume that they wouldn't exist or would be less violent than any other type of thug would be a somewhat incorrect assumption to make.

...Well, uh -- not as short as I planned on, but there you are, anyway. Also I've tracked this post, and I wouldn't mind talking more if you're interested, I could definitely go on for a while about stuff related to this.

[(Anonymous)]

Cop anon.

Genuinely interested for you to go on.

I guess to clarify, I'm not stating that these problems don't exist in Asian (keep using this, and tbh you're right it's messy and inaccurate, but easier then typing Japanese+Korean+China, though obviously in and of themselves they all have notable differences just fall under certain over-riding cultural elements).

I'm just saying that there's a difference in the ways that cultures express themselves and the individuals they create, and it's overly reductive to for example suggest that all cultures express violence to the same level, or in the same ways.

[case]

Chiming back in, I hope you don't mind.

I think anon was trying to say - violence of comparable levels does exist, it's just not acknowledged. In a lot of Asian cultures if your - child, for example, is a gangster or a thug or involved in organized crime, a lot of parents will be entirely hands off and disown them and pretend they don't exist. Crimes will be committed but never acknowledged, much less reported - because it's embarrassing. And embarrassing and the idea of "losing face" i.e. looking bad to all your social peers (because of being "bad parents" that couldn't control their child or raise them properly etc etc because all those connected to you reflect on you - ) matters so much more to Asians in Asia than anybody in the West.

In all honesty, a parent's first reaction to "mom, I joined a gang" might be "oh my god, you're embarrassing us. Everyone else will know. Did you do anything in public? What's wrong with you? Do we have to move out of town?" (It wouldn't be that in all cases obviously, but it wouldn't be uncommon.) But there's this huge focus on "who else knows? Who else is judging? Hide it first, THEN solve the problem." Regardless of whether or not seeking outside help might help solve it more quickly - for example, mental illness. People in many parts of Asia are actually embarrassed to be depressed. Depression being common isn't a thing, if you're on medication for that you're "mentally ill" and people will whisper behind your back about you being crazy. And if your grandparent has dementia, shut him up indoors and don't let anybody see him and don't get him treatment because that means admitting he's losing it. If you suffer domestic abuse in that kind of culture (parents on kids, you better bet that happens), going to the cops is not a thing. The same kind of hesitance applies to reporting other crimes in general.

Also, a lot of Asian cultures don't - acknowledge the lower-class areas and people, except from a distance. They're way harsher (socially, at least) against them than Westerners are to their lower classes and the idea of "don't ask about their problems and they won't tell us about their problems then there aren't any" is really strong in a lot of areas. Asia is extremely conservative - and there's a strong belief that "if they're poor, they're stupid. They didn't work hard enough." Imagine that kind of mindset only it's the majority of the continent. The West sort of has a history of muckrakers and things like that, people exposing corruption and crusading for the lower classes. People like seeing justice being done and crimes being reported and stopped and stuff -

On the flip side, a lot of Asian countries like prefer that their country LOOKS perfect. The government might be entirely corrupt but it's THEIR problem and THEY'LL deal with it - they don't want outsiders poking their noses in (and country vs country tensions are everywhere, you better believe Korea is so goddamn ready to judge Japan for everything and vice versa), so they generally don't talk about it except among themselves. If there are problems, hide them. If there's homeless, arrest them and drag them off the streets. If there are people who express government dissent or are openly gay or other things like that, censor them entirely out of the media. Crimes are actually less reported even by the media because it's shocking and disturbing to the viewers who aren't used to hearing it (:OOO this stuff only happens in violent places with like, black people and OUR country isn't one of them, right?), and most of the worst stuff is censored or considered too controversial to air. (That was a lot of rambling, but related to the whole "we want our group to look good" thing. That carries over to the West, too, where people purposely TRY to be the "model minority.")

Usually, non-Asians (or even foreign-born Asians) don't get to see any of this - because they don't want you to see them and judge them for it. It is slowly getting better, but - when I said warriors vs rogues, welp...

[(Anonymous)]

"...it's overly reductive to for example suggest that all cultures express violence to the same level, or in the same ways."

Yeah, I'd absolutely agree with you on this. Asian cultures (in the most general sense) really would be less likely to express violence on a regular level or have it be shown in the same way that White cultures do. There's a lot less tolerance for ANY expression of those kinds of things in communities at large -- violence and being able to fight is one thing, knowing how to fight is fine, but being CAUGHT fighting or being seen fighting is entirely another.

I'd think you're right when you say that or when you think that as a White guy you're far less likely to be threatened by Asian thugs and that they probably wouldn't be an issue for you. But that links a lot to what you said about violence. It's less obvious or overt, and oftentimes you won't find people fighting for the sake of fighting, and the expression of violence is rarely a casual thing or seen as normal in any sense.

The thing is, I'd... actually venture to say that there really is more to it than simply 'less violence in Asian communities'. It'd be more accurate to say 'less violence against people who aren't from their community and a LOT less acknowledgment or talking about violence'. I'm certainly not saying that Asian communities express violence the same way that White communities do; but to say that it's any more or any less... that would depend, and the question to ask here would be 'who exactly is violence being expressed AGAINST', and one of the answers -- I say one of, because it's really a bit of a multi-faceted issue -- would be 'not really people like you'.

It's like -- someone in your position, looking as you do (tall, fairly capable of handling himself, authority), you're... really a lot less likely to be privy to a lot of violence that might be happening in Asian communities. Thugs, gangs, things like that, because of the way societies in Asia tend to view violence, things like that are often sort of ignored, pushed to the side, or just plain not talked about or mentioned. If they happen, it's a community issue. Unless you're IN the community or part of it, it... really isn't as likely to show.

And as for getting into communities or gaining access of any sort, or getting people to talk about these issues in a specific way, that's extremely hard. Even for me -- I might be Asian but put me in New York and ask me to talk about the exact nature of the Chinese community there and I'd be at a loss, there are a lot of cultural markers which I simply wouldn't have or wouldn't know about. Sure, I'm technically the same ethnicity as they are, but to them I'd be a total outsider, and you can bet that most people there who are Chinese would just sort of NOT let me know if things like that are ongoing. Of course, I know they are, and they know I know things like that probably happen, but none of us would be likely to speak on it. It's really impolite, also kind of embarrassing.

Other than that... I think techno did cover most of the other points I'd have made. Hope this explained things a little, as well. Sorry if I'm going in circles a bit, it's still pretty early here.