[ SECRET POST #1958 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1958 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 104 secrets from Secret Submission Post #280.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'll answer, nonnie! :) The "spoon theory (http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/)" is just a cute analogy used to explain chronic illness (mental illness, chronic pain, endocrine issues, etc.) to people who don't have those experiences so they can understand what we're going through. The idea is that every person has a certain number of 'spoons' in their personal silverware drawer that they can use every day. For a person with a chronic illness, simple every day actions like 'getting on the bus' or 'making a sandwich' costs a spoon. We have fewer spoons than healthy people, and we can't just go 'buy more' by getting a little extra sleep or taking our vitamins. We have to make conscious choices, every day, about what we can and can't handle. And the things that cost us spoons may be free for healthy people. A lot of people take for granted the ability to walk up stairs, or bend over to pick up a dropped fork, or the ability to step outside.

This is also why people like the poster above get upset when SJW start flinging around 'spoons' in online arguments (almost always when they are losing, I'll note). While I agree that sometimes it costs me 'spoons' to interact with strangers, I have a little less sympathy if that is your response to an argument you started.

[(Anonymous)]

I understand the metaphor, but I still don't know if it's okay to use it to elaborate on mental disabilities, or only physical, or some mental but not others, yada yada. I hope I'm not upsetting anyone by asking, I don't want to undermine anyone's physical problems or anything like that.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's fine. The author herself says, "I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness." Today I heard for the first time of this theory, and as someone who is severely depressed but has trouble explaining to people how it impacts on my life, I feel like I have found a great way to explain it to someone.The mental exhaustion after tiny tasks like just cleaning up in the morning or going to the kitchen for a snack is real. The fact that I have to spend a day or two in bed after attending a single lecture is real. But you know, how can I make a person who isn't depressed understand? Hell, it was kind of difficult for me to understand! I mean, it's not fun realising that, no, today you won't get up, and you probably won't eat anything or do anything except lie around, and every time you try to get up you just feel so terrible that you have to lie down again and just accept that today you are just going to lie here and stare at the ceiling. (Not to mention that that's not a good way to explain it either! Because if you aren't depressed, you might not even see what's so bad about that. Lying around sounds so relaxing. You don't do anything, you don't talk to anyone, you just chill in your bed. Awesome. And if you get bored, you just get up and do fun stuff. Except, no, it's not like that.)

[fuchsiascreams.livejournal.com]

Thank you for posting this. This is a great idea. It's really, really difficult to try explaining mental illness (particularly ones that sap your energy and prevent you from physically being able to do things, like depression or anxiety) to people who have never experienced it before. This is a really great analogy, thank you. I'm going to use it the next time someone in my immediate family calls me lazy for being on disability instead of just "getting out of the house more, eating better, doing yoga, and getting a job". Everyone thinks I'm so lucky for being able to lie around all day and do what I want on the country's dollar, but I promise you that it isn't fun, and I don't feel lucky for regularly being so exhausted that I have to sleep on the couch because I literally do not have enough energy to make it upstairs to my bedroom.

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

Ugh. As someone who lived through their own bout of serious depression lasting for many years (and who still deals with minor depression issues almost every day), this was the best insider's look at depression I've ever come across. Might be useful to point people who just don't get it at this:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html)

I know my own mum very much had the "Just buck up and get over it" attitude (living in another town she never saw the effects on me first-hand) until one day she called while I was having one of my lower points and I literally couldn't form coherent words, let alone sentences. That was the point at which she realized it really was actually something that impaired my ability to do things, right down to my ability to talk at times, and started to look into it more, and discovered it actually wasn't just all in my head or whatever. Wish I could have showed her "Adventures in Depression" back then!

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's for those who genuinely do have limited spoons, regardless of whether it's a physical or mental chronic illness. Not just once in awhile, though, but all the time. Not just 'I had a bad day, my spoons are limited', but 'I have a disease that limits my spoons every day, all the time and I need to budget myself all the time.'

One thing it definitely isn't fair to do is for normally abled types to rip it off because they have to do their damn laundry or they can't keep up with their twitter feed because they're pissed off at shippers in another part of fandom. Which I saw today. Or, again, because they've run out of focus to beat people up over the internet anymore. Especially since these same assholes cry appropriation over EVERYTHING.

I feel for anyone who has to use this metaphor to explain chronic illness, since most people think, "But you LOOK okay!" I'd rather be healthy and never have to explain to people what it's like. But since I'm not, no, I really don't care for a bunch of SJWs stealing it.