[ SECRET POST #1959 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1959 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #280.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kryss-labryn.livejournal.com]

Ugh, that's horrible. I don't know what to suggest beyond finding somewhere else to live (which I understand may not be possible) or encouraging him to get his own place, but I saw you hadn't gotten any responses yet and I wanted to offer a word of encouragment.

Something you might try is educating your mother about verbal abuse-- which is likely to rather involve more providing her with independent information than simply trying to explain it to her, if she's already dismissing your concerns. Additionally, there may be (depending on what country you're in) resources in your community that will help you with an abusive situation at home-- it doesn't have to be a parent or spouse, as you well know, for it to make your home life miserable. You can also try talking to a doctor for a referral; either them or the local police ought to have contact info for support groups or otherwise helpful organizations in your area.

By "terrified", do you mean that you're afraid he might try to physically hurt you? Or is he simply intimidating because he's the "big brother" and that's the way the power dynamic is? I know when I was a teen I had to have my parents put a deadbolt on my door because my brother (younger but by then bigger than me) would fly into such rages when I argued with him or told him off that I would be left trying desperately to hold my bedroom door closed and screaming for help from my parents, while he did his level best to batter it down. I was seriously afraid that he would either beat the crap out of me or rape me back then. Now that he's no longer a teen and has calmed down, I just think he's a moron, ha ha. It helps a LOT that we moved about 1200 km apart, though, and that we've simply learned to avoid certain topics on which we just will never agree (because we both think the other a gullible moron-- but I'm right about it *wink*). But aside from those certain topics (like climate change and conspiracy theories *eyeroll*) we actually do get along pretty well these days, especially in small doses.

So it doesn't have to be like that forever, at least.

But everyone deserves a home that is a shelter, emotionally as well as physically, so good on you for looking for help if it's too much to handle on your own. perhaps try to talk to your mum calmly about it when it's not something that he's just gone and done again and explain that, actually, whether or not you're being "too sensitive" or what, his behaviour really is causing you a great deal of stress and anxiety, and you'd really like to have her help in getting him to tone it down.

A deadbolt on your door might help you feel safer, too, and if they wouldn't allow that, you can get these wedge doorstops for when you're travelling and don't trust the hotel locks (http://grahamstravelblog.blogspot.ca/2010/05/veritas-travellers-doorstop-review.html) that aren't super expensive and won't do any permanent damage to the door or frame (there are others out there too).

Good luck with it! I sincerely hope things improve for you. :-)

[(Anonymous)]

By terrified I do mean I'm worried he will physically harm me. I'm 5 foot 5 but he's well over 6 feet, loud, and aggressive. He knows this and has prided himself before on getting things he wants by being physcially intimidating. He has never actually struck me, but it's been a near thing.

When I get sick of it and just start arguing back it will escalate into him screaming in my face of how wrong I am and reduce me to tears. My mom has been present for three of these fights and did nothing. Later if I did ask her to do something about it she would downplay what happened (if she didn't deny it had happened in the first place).