Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-05-22 07:06 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-05-22 07:06 pm
[ SECRET POST #1967 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1967 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 051 secrets from Secret Submission Post #281.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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(Anonymous) 2012-05-23 12:45 am (UTC)(link)gag. friendzoning makes me sick
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(Anonymous) 2012-05-23 01:07 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-23 01:45 am (UTC)(link)The first place I heard people complain about being in the friendzone was a heavily female-dominated forum, and the usage was almost all like in your latter example. For a while, that was the only place I heard it used, so now whenever a rant about how the friendzone is a misogynistic myth pops up on my tumblr dash, my gut reaction is an eyeroll.
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Really, there are at least a couple definitions of "friendzone," but the two I'm most familiar with are:
1. A likes B, but B doesn't know it and A assumes the role of a friend in B's mind. A is aware of this, wants to be more than friends, but is in the uncomfortable position of having to decide between being friends with B and keeping their feelings secret or trying to make their feelings for B known and possibly alienating a perfectly good friend. (This is "being in the friendzone")
2. A likes B, and attempts to show feelings (it's worth noting that these attempts can often be somewhat ambiguous), B either pretends to remain oblivious to the advances to prevent embarrassment on both sides or outright asserts that they see A as a friend. (This is "being friendzoned")
Both are things that really happen, and to people of both genders, but the second situation is the one you hear about more when people start groaning about the friendzone and how mean women are.
....am I making sense?
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Just...seeing it so many times and having guys whine about it, and also seeing them tell each other how to avoid it (like you can do magical guy things to MAKE girls like you) and make fun of other guys who they see as "permanently friendzoned"...it's just gross. It's like having a girl is a status. And it's usually with the implication that girlfriend = sex
of course it probably depends on where you spend a lot of time on the Internet. For example I used to browse 9gag, before I got so sick of how sexist all the commenters were (as well as a fair number of the posts) and just stopped going there.
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And some arguing with me that my friends who are male all wanna fuck me and they're only my friends for that and I'm stupid for thinking otherwise. So, you know, whatever.
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People actually say that to you? Well, the ones who say it to you are no doubt the horny, shallow, self-centered ones who are so narrow-minded they think all guys are like them. gross.
Sometimes when I feel like doing "Internet regurgitated" (I like that phrase, btw!) I go to iwastesomuchtime.com. It basically "reblogs" a lot of stuff from 9gag as well as a few other random things but the sexist posts show up far less frequently, and the commenters are generally waaay more reasonable, and there's a lot less juvenile joking and macho-ness.
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Oh yes, There were 2 or 3 comments that outright said that to me on imgur. I mean, I feel a little bad for them because that's such a sad, sad mentality. But also, they're clearly assholes, so who really cares? The interesting thing, I think, is that I do have a friend/ex/exfwb who is in a relationship and he's implied that if situations arose for us to be fwb again, he'd be okay with it... except "I've hurt you too many times." He would want to, but he cares about my feelings as a person and that's more important to him. I don't think guys who outright say "all your male friends want to fuck you" think of subtleties like that.
DONE RAMBLING
Glad you liked the phrase, haha. I'll have to check out that site next time I'm out looking for stuff to read! Thanks!
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I'm glad you're able to have this attitude about it, lol. Because seriously, that just grosses me out. so much. and makes me mad.
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Yeah, that shit's addicting. But there are so many other random blogs and feeds on the Internet where that shit doesn't come up (or at least not NEARLY as much). I hope 9gag dies a slow death one day because people start to grow up and realize what trash it is.
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I still think the friendzone concept is sexist in general because of the fact that I've basically seen it used by men (and it ties in nicely with some of the more piggish attitudes some men have about women), but I suppose at its root it's more an entitlement complex than anything.
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MIND=BLOWN
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not sure if serious
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I think I got confused by this whole thread. xD lol
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(Anonymous) 2012-05-23 01:46 am (UTC)(link)See, until now I thought friendzone was a nice way for a girl to say "not interested" in someone and I didn't realise it was a 'bad word' except when 'nice guys tm' were upset over being in it supposedly??
I'm a very confused anon now. Or is it a context/tone sensitive word with double meanings?
I did see a friend of mine on facebook post a brotip about how all the "nice guys are in the friend zone where they were left" and I was confused because you can't force attraction
and i'm so confused about friendzoning vs. nice guys. I only foudn out about it yesterday from that brotip and I'm still sorting it out in my head.
naice anon is naive
and confused
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I think the difference is the use of the word, if it's a noun (i.e. "in the friendzone") you can probably assume it's safe, whereas using it as a verb (i.e. "I was friendzoned") has far more negative connotations.
Really, there are at least a couple definitions of "friendzone," but the two I'm most familiar with are:
1. A likes B, but B doesn't know it and A assumes the role of a friend in B's mind. A is aware of this, wants to be more than friends, but is in the uncomfortable position of having to decide between being friends with B and keeping their feelings secret or trying to make their feelings for B known and possibly alienating a perfectly good friend. (This is "being in the friendzone")
2. A likes B, and attempts to show feelings (it's worth noting that these attempts can often be somewhat ambiguous), B either pretends to remain oblivious to the advances to prevent embarrassment on both sides or outright asserts that they see A as a friend. (This is "being friendzoned")
Both are things that really happen, and to people of both genders, but the second situation is the one you hear about more when people start groaning about the friendzone and how mean women are.
....am I making sense?
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(Anonymous) 2012-05-23 03:33 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-05-23 05:09 am (UTC)(link)