[ SECRET POST #1986 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1986 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 119 secrets from Secret Submission Post #284.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0- not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ], [ 1 2 - going to have to be a little more subtle than this ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

13. http://i.imgur.com/3aGqg.png

[writerserenyty]

:( Don't know what to tell you. Is there any participation in fandom where you don't feel anxiety? Because really IMO the best way to make fandom friends is just by sheer amount of participation. Like, do you feel comfortable enough to write reviews on fic?

Making fandom friends can be tough, though. Hang in there, OP. :)

This!

[(Anonymous)]

It's easier to remember an username if it's associated with a fanfic writer, or fanart, or someone who makes fanmixes or fanvideos or summaries/reviews, etc.

It's not easy, though. For every dozens or hundreds of users you see being noticed in a fandom, there are quiet hundreds or thousands just passing by relatively or completely unnoticed. It's not just you.

Re: This!

[(Anonymous)]

I agree. The more you make posts/comment and participate in general (not necessarily contribute fics, art, etc.) the more people see your name and remember you. Online there are so many people and most don't remember those people if they don't constantly see them. Even here on FS there a few people's names I remember, but only because I've seen them post a lot or they're trolls. The rest? Sorry, I don't remember if you post a few times once in awhile. It really is about getting yourself out there. This is also true for things outside of fandom, like for jobs.

Re: This!

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, I should have mentioned that too. A very avid reviewer is remembered fondly by the artists as well.

And that is so very true, about it applying for real life too!

[cashay]

Did you ever thought about getting a Tumblr or a Twitter. Especially on Twitter I always found it easy to get to know new people.

Also, did you ever try a friending meme? I'm not sure what fandom activity you're okay with without panicking so I'm just throwing random ideas around =/

I totally understand

[(Anonymous)]

Ugh, I could have written this. I've done all the tips to the best of my ability but my anxiety really is a huge handicap. I also tend to go through phases when my anxiety spikes and I end up avoiding the entire internet for stretches of time, which does not help at all but I've been this way for so long I know it's not going to stop.

I also think there's just something about me that isn't very likeable. I email, I comment, I review - but it seems my words are always skipped over even if people are replying to nearly every comment. At some point you've got to admit it really is you, not them. Which sucks, because I really would love friends. :(

Re: I totally understand

[(Anonymous)]

Aww. I've been there. It's not impossible to overcome, but it is hard.

Re: I totally understand

[darkmanifest]

I also think there's just something about me that isn't very likeable.

Oh, man, totally feeling this way. I try to filter myself very very carefully to ensure the things I suspect make me unlikeable don't seep into everything I do, except the only way for that to work is to keep my distance from the very people I want to befriend. It's worked brilliantly for avoiding wank, not so much for getting close to anyone.

[elaminator]

Sorry OP. :/

Joining friending meme's can be a good way to make friends, and commenting in communities can help you strike up a conversation with someone, but anxiety is a cruel mistress and I understand if you aren't always comfortable doing those things. I've been a lurker in fandom on and off for many years, and there are tons of other people in the same situation, so at least know you aren't alone. Whatever you feel most comfortable with is what you should do, but it is true just commenting, posting, and reviewing can make you friends if you meet the right person or are in the right place at the right time.

Good luck with everything!

[(Anonymous)]

Been there before and still am. tried friending memes and forums, I get ignored. Tumblr is full of drama, and there is nowhere else for me to go. I really wish I had likeminded people. I think it's maybe what I am into or that I am older

[(Anonymous)]

Me, too. I've joined several forums/coms, participated in discussion, been friendly, and no one replies to my comments at all. I don't get what's going on and it makes me think about giving up on fandom altogether. :p

[(Anonymous)]

Haha, I feel you! I think being older does cause some problems...in my case, I can't stand a lot of the shit the high school crowd tends to whine or squee about, so I often end up alienating myself from them anyway!

It takes a lot of digging to find similar-minded fans...

[thene]

I think it helps if you're in a large fandom and if you seek out engagement. Like, try to leave fic comments that include questions or provide some discussion of canon - that makes it more likely that other readers or the writer will want to reply and chat to you. Or make meta or discussion posts for a community and talk to people who reply. Make sure you're creating openings for people to approach you, and try to take openings that other people create for you.

[castorochiaro]

Every time I see these secrets, I just want to take the OP into a big hug and make friends with them. I know what it's like to be on the outside looking in.

Depending on what fandoms your in, I'd love to get to know you! I know how much it sucks waiting for an opening and never getting one.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, the internet is pretty big and vast. It's hard to make a name for yourself whether or not one has anxiety problems. There isn't a magical button. It really just is being more active. Think about the people in fandoms who you recognize and know. I'm sure there are people you remember that haven't contributed any sort of fic or art, but are just always around and constantly commenting on stuff. Their claim to fame is just participating. That's really all there is to it. I know, easier said than done. There are also a lot of other people who don't get noticed too who really are the majority. So, it's not like us lurkers are alone.

[hornpile]

bleh, I feel the same. I don't really know how to participate in fandom apart from commenting on fanworks, but the problem is I almost never look at fanworks. I don't understand why I love fandom so much when I hardly do anything in it! I post in friend memes and stuff but I never seem to be able to establish a good connection with other people. They're more like casual acquaintances than people with whom I can flail about things with. I do have friends irl like that, but I just feel sort of... alone in fandom. It's been bothering me a lot lately. I just always see people's posts and there are always like five people commenting all "OMG I LOVE THIS YOU'RE THE BEST" with replies like "THANKS BB I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW K" and I... I want to be all ridiculous and friendly with people online like that?
Welp.

[(Anonymous)]

Blaa-blaa-blaa..this is the most common shitty secret here. "I want, but I cannot because of a.) anxiety b.) some mental disorder c.) bad medication d.) lack of social skills e.) some other bullshit. Wow, so hard to get fandom friends on the internet! Where you don't have to meet anyone! Just write! Poor you! I hope this is a troll secret dammit. After this the number of people calling me a shithead for telling the truth - go to hell with your "you can do it!!111!!".

[(Anonymous)]

Except you didn't really "tell" anything, much less truth. You just kind of blurted out angry rambling with no real focus other than "I'M FUCKING ANGRY!!!!!"

Better luck next time in formulating a coherent point, I guess?

Also, your lack of understanding about how badly a mental condition can hinder someone's actions makes me think you're a very sheltered 10-year-old.