[ SECRET POST #1986 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1986 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 119 secrets from Secret Submission Post #284.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0- not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ], [ 1 2 - going to have to be a little more subtle than this ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Wow, um, you're kind of being really fucking offensive here. It isn't merely "projecting." In a lot of cases, it's simple fact that abuse victims identify abusive situations a lot more clearly than people who have never experienced abuse -- this is especially true, probably, in situations where the abuse is emotional (a type of abuse many ignorant people deny even exists). Dismissing people's valid and legitimate interpretations of the text (media) here because you think they're "emotional" and "projecting" is really offensive. Really.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

You're right - I took that too far. I'm sorry.

I just remember going around and around and around in circles with someone regarding another character in a similar situation. Where something would happen in canon and they'd be all "OMG EVERYONE IS SO MEAN TO HIM OMG!!!!" and I'd be like "WFT he did [something that would piss most people off] thing in that episode, thing that's why they yelled at him!" and they'd be like "BUT THEY"RE MEAN THEY SHOULD BE NICER TO HIM" Then it would end with how she used to be abuse and she knows exactly how the character feels when people yell at him and all that... and I'd be left still thinking that the characters had every reason to be pissed off at him.

Which means I'm probably doing some projecting of my own.

tw: discussion of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Thank you, seriously. I really can't stand being accused of "projecting" like that.. as though my own experiences mean that I'm incapable of objectively viewing something, or that my experiences mean that my interpretations of media/text are invalid. It's really gross, and thank you for your apology.

I understand how that could be really frustrating. :\ Some victims of abuse react differently than others, though... when I was younger, I used to latch onto characters who suffered abuse similar to my own, and may have acted in a similar way; I didn't know that what I was going through at the time was abuse and had no way to deal with my feelings, so I dealt with them through the characters. (I think, subconsciously, I knew that I wasn't as horrible as my abusers made me out to be, and thus felt that my chosen character had to also be somehow good, or else it meant I was bad, too? Something like that.) I'd just ask that you try to remember that in the future.

Ugh, this is a really difficult subject to discuss, ha. Anyway I hope I didn't go way off or something, today's been a bit weird and I turned the a/c down to conserve energy and ugh, waaarm.

Re: tw: discussion of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Huh... I've never had anyone explain the thought process behind liking those types of characters so thank you for that and I will try harder to remember.

I can't make promises though that I won't find it annoying when someone tries to explain away the very real asshole behaviors of specific characters. I mean honestly, even if the characters were abused it doesn't give them a free pass at being asshole, and it doesn't mean other other characters are automatically mean to that character when they tell him off for being an asshole.

Re: tw: discussion of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

You're welcome, and thank you!

Oh, I totally understand that. I'm sure I was pretty annoying about it when I was younger, too, ha. There's nothing wrong with finding it annoying. All I like to do is to spread some meager awareness of where that kind of thing can come from, because sometimes it can be helpful.

But yeah, being abused doesn't mean it's okay to be an asshole. Sometimes it's just hard to really draw the distinction when you think you're the bad guy in your actual life... and all you wanna do is secretly turn out to be the hero.

Re: tw: discussion of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I think part of the problem with these characters is that sometimes they are just so obnoxious or such obvious assholes to me, that anything that seems like an explanation for why they act the way they do is an excuse and yet another insistence that if I just tried to understand them I'd feel sorry for them (implying that by not understanding I'm being mean or something). Which since they're fictional I'm not going to put that much effort into finding a reason to like someone who's very personalty makes roll my eyes and wish they'd shut up half the time they're on the screen, at best.

Re: tw: discussion of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Oh yeah, I totally get that. And I've had that happen before, even with the good guys, lol. No one should feel obligated to interpret a character a certain way if they don't see it. And sometimes a character just rubs someone the wrong way, and that's okay.

Re: tw: discussion of abuse

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

... and yet in the original comment you made about Loki being emotionally abused that set off this whole sub-thread you said it was kind of "gross" that others didn't see it as emotional abuse...