[ SECRET POST #1991 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1991 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]














15. [SPOILERS for Legend of Korra]



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16. [SPOILERS for Cabin in the Woods]



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17.[SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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18. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]



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19. [SPOILERS for ASOIAF]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]















20. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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21. [TRIGGER WARNING for stalking/harassment]



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22. [TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of suicide/self-harm]
[SPOILERS for Mad Men]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #284.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - unreadable ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I agree with this, I think it's really important that people only do things they really want to sexually. It's a consent thing as well. So if someone is coerced, even if it's by the bloke insisting they've earnt it or whatever, it feels a bit dubious to me. I think a lot of women really don't like giving blow jobs, and you know, why should they? I have a very strong gag reflex, even cleaning my teeth can be a challenge. I think that's a common problem.

I always think if a person thinks you should agree to do things you don't want to, they can go find someone else who wants to do that thing, it's just not worth it, and if the guy cares about you, he won't try and push you into it. If he does try, well maybe re evaluation of the relationship is in order.

[(Anonymous)]

Very much agreed! I also think reciprocation is key... If you're giving a bloke a blowjob, why shouldn't he perform oral on you in return? Or at least get you off some other way... *eyeroll* Guys who think they have the right to BJs without returning the pleasure in some way are, imo, bastards.

[(Anonymous)]

Erm...in that case, I have a question. I thought this sounded on the edge of risky when it was said, but I don't know. I've been dating someone for over a year and a half now, and about half a year ago was asked to have vaginal sex. From the beginning of the relationship, I'd made it clear that I wasn't comfortable with male+female sexual actions, though we'd sort of worked up to making out shirtless and so forth.
Trying to explain to him how I felt, I asked (and I realize this sounds somewhat bitchy and passive-aggressive, but I felt sort of concerned myself) whether, if our situations were reversed, if he were a girl, if he would be able to have penetrative/vaginal sex with someone no problem. He answered, "If I loved them." Which, well, yes, is a logical/valid--perhaps the most valid--response, also felt a bit like, "If you love me, you'll do it." Is that ok?
I'm feeling like there's no real answer to this.

Also, LOL, this has very little to do with blow jobs, except that I'm not at all comfortable with the idea of them either. x''D

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, wonderful, the 'you'll do this for me if you love me, if you don't you must not' thing. That's manipulation, imo. I had the same argument thrown at me when I was abused as a child. Don't fall for it, nonnie. Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable or ready to do!

[(Anonymous)]

What anon above me said. That's guilt-tripping, pure and simple.

Look at it the other way around: If he really loves you, he won't pressure you into something you're not ready for.

sa

[(Anonymous)]

As an addendum: If you never feel ready or comfortable, he should respect that too. Getting to have sex with you shouldn't be a goal of sorts that the whole relationship is leading to, or the pay-off of all his "work". If he views it that way, I think it's time to rethink this relationship.

[(Anonymous)]

What anon above me said. If you don't feel comfortable with something and you let the other partner know, but they still force THEIR views on you, they aren't respecting you. I don't see how a relationship like that will end well since there is no mutual respect.

http://pervocracy.blogspot.ca/2011/07/why-does-she-stay-with-that-jerk.html?m=1