fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1991 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1991 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

15. [SPOILERS for Legend of Korra]

__________________________________________________

16. [SPOILERS for Cabin in the Woods]

__________________________________________________

17.[SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]

__________________________________________________

18. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]

__________________________________________________

19. [SPOILERS for ASOIAF]

__________________________________________________

[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

20. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]

__________________________________________________

21. [TRIGGER WARNING for stalking/harassment]

__________________________________________________

22. [TRIGGER WARNING for mentions of suicide/self-harm]
[SPOILERS for Mad Men]

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #284.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - unreadable ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I was younger, I was pretty much entirely innocent (also a little oblivious to when I was annoying people but that's a diff story) and A-OK with talking to random people on the internet if we had an implied thing in common by being on the same site for fans of a book series. He was fifteen then but pretty much the closest in interests and how we thought, and we clicked over being silly and writing stories. After a while I didn't really like the fansite anymore (just the actions of people on it after the most active mod died and no one else got recruited to take his place) and drifted, but he stuck with because between us meeting and me floating off from that site we spent a lot of time writing stories in a sort of RP format where we could use anyone's characters (but mostly stayed to our own). And I flounced from that, um, twice. Both times pretty raegy, both times full of hot air, both times probably on to something because it's four-five years later and what I'm pretty sure annoyed me was the massive amount of unrealistic characters (in terms of personality, behaviors, blah blah blah I'm ok with PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS so long as they're PEOPLE in their own right and not either a bleeping self-insert Gary Stu [not for public appearances, m'kay? your fantasies are BORING. at least this one. i can get behind the dragons though, everybody loves dragons] or said self-insert's harem of semi-identical-and-technically-the-same-person ladies or their unnervingly huge family with copious amounts of time travel so they can all be teenagers.) and how his writing ability was stagnating while mine was steadily improving and hey guess what THAT'S WHY I'M HERE.

As for the power fantasy bit, he doesn't really tell me about the RP characters very much he just mentions them off-handedly and every time I'm like 'oh god not again. please. stop it. stop flooding the market, stop using only one character type that's obvious fap-material, and stop telling ME if you won't' in my head but just pretend he didn't said it and babble at him about what I'm doing. Sometimes. Sometimes I don't. (And yes, I do happen to be female.)

no maturity about their creative impulses
Oh god, the nail, it has been hit on the head so thoroughly I think it has a severe concussion.

I think, if I do want to salvage this friendship, the first thing I'm definitely going to have to do is (at the next opportunity) tell him what I do think about his characters, tell him that I'm not interested in his - quote unquote - one-dimensional fapping and I doubt anyone else is either, and maybe link a few 'how to write a believable character that people might want to strangle but won't want to strangle for having the hand of the creator guiding their every move to something most beneficial' pages.

*sob* Don't I know it. It's hard. It's hard but I'm pretty sure at least one person might understand. (aka you who did you think :P) I dunno if I will drift from him too, I'm pretty sure I'm too damn invested in this six-year fiasco to drop even if it might be better in the long run... maybe I'll try what another poster said first and make more friends, so I'm not dumping all my various fandoms on one guy and then feeling mildly resentful when he only likes a few of them...

I would do what you mentioned in the penultimate paragraph and then see how reacts.

I predict he will get offended, but at least that might stop what little lingering guilt you might have.

And yes, definitely make more friends. You don't have to aim for a super-best-friend, just people to squee with and that share interests with you, and then if a best friendship type of deal starts developing, it will do so naturally, and you'll likely feel less pressure in that sense.

/much belated

aaagh I do not get why they do that. I understand when it's a computer game and you just want to have the most maxed-out character possible but for a game where you're RPing with other people, why would you want to play the same boring character over and over again. :(

I hate the technically-same-person ladies trope. It's (oops spoiler) the worst thing about one of my favourite books, ILLUMINATUS! and I worry that there are still people out there who do it because they think erasing women is like really meaningful and clever ://// Weird thing is, I feel like that kind of specificity about women is a common munchkin trait; just like they want to play their one true powerfullest character, they also want their character to have the one true beautifullest woman, and waist-hip ratio is just another stat to min-max over.

There is a Captain Awkward tag for this shit - http://captainawkward.com/tag/the-african-violet-of-broken-friendship/ There's also something I read years ago that's stuck with me ever since; there's no therapeutic counselling and repair process for friendship the way there is for a poorly functioning but salvageable marriage. Friendships are often important enough to be worth saving (especially when one has few friends) but we don't see that work as important enough to warrant formal, professional support.

I do hope you make friends in your new fandoms so this guy isn't a problem any more. Innocence lost can be replaced by confidence gained, I hope.

[ SECRET POST #1991 ]

OP again

Re: OP again

Re: OP again