Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-06-26 05:29 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-06-26 05:29 pm
[ SECRET POST #2002 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2002 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #286.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - text comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: ayrt
(Anonymous) 2012-06-27 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)No one is saying there's anything wrong with being nice and willing to educate. People that have endless patience and goodwill like that are wonderful, as far as I'm concerned.
The problem is when you say everyone should be so patient and willing to put up with entitlement and bigotry in the interests of educating people.
This idea of "well if you get mad and upset, you just reflect badly on the whole movement!!!" is really offensive, actually. It's suggesting that if, for example, I get angry with a guy for calling me or another woman a slut and I don't have endless patience and a willingness to compromise or try to see things from his side, that means it's okay for him to keep calling women sluts because it's all my fault for not being nice enough when telling him off that he just won't try to learn what's wrong with what he said.
True, there are SJWs that use social justice as an excuse to be trolly shits. But I find that people tend to exaggerate the amount of situations that actually are that way. See, for example, anon linking to curseangel's comments.
This cult of nice thing, where you characterize people that get angry about bigotry and refuse to apologize for that anger as 'screeching' and 'irrational' is part of the problem. It's part of the reason offensive behaviour and bigotry are still so widespread - it's considered more socially acceptable to be a bigot than it is to get upset at bigots.
Re: ayrt
Super late.
I am speaking of extreme cases of trolling and misguided people. I'm sorry that I clumped your opinion in with the shouting extremists.
I do see your point, everyone is free to react in whatever way they choose. You are right, no one should be obligated to feel empathy for someone who says hateful things. No one should feel obligated to be in the "cult of nice," when it comes to true bigoted jerks. Because, honestly, those people are full of hate and ugliness, and would love nothing more than to push your buttons. It's the true bigots that you cannot reason with, who will lol at the "cult of nice" and the "educate yourself" in an equal manner.
But when an ignorant or uneducated comment/thought/opinion is made, from my experience, it tends to turn into a negative spiral and a festering pool of insults.
I think people just need to be able to filter out who could benefit from "education" from the people who are just pushing buttons and being hateful. I think that is the biggest problem, is that to some, there is no middle ground. Some people can't or won't see beyond the offensive word or action and just react on that.
Real life CSB...a friend was looking at a magazine and said "this baby is so cute...look at his [slur for Asian] eyes." It was obvious that she was saying something nice, but just didn't know that the "Asian C- Word" was a slur or insult. My jaw dropped and I said, "what did you say???" and she repeated it. I told her not to say that word and that is was like the N-word for Asians. She felt horrible and had no idea that she was being offensive. Now if I had yelled at her and told her to GTFO and cut off all ties to her, would she have learned anything? No, if anything it would have left her confused and bewildered and she would continue to use that word.