fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2003 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2003 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #286.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm sorry too. I probably should have brought it up in the general thread instead, to make it clearer that I meant language in the general sense, not in this specific case. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories, and I think I've seen occurrences of what you mention; but I just dismissed those persons as either trolls or very stubborn people because they often started flinging insults in the same breath, which showed what exactly they were trying to accomplish.

I much, much prefer not cursing irl and online, because I've seen how, unless it's a very friendly environment, it tends to escalate arguments, instead of diffusing them and helping both parties reach an understanding. That's what I was trying to get at in my other comments.

I really should have also mentioned that, if someone has the intention to hurt, or to erase the other person's argument, then a compromise probably wouldn't be reached anyway, but any on-lookers are more likely to listen more attentively to the person that remains calm.

And I'm really not saying that people don't have the right to get angry and curse when they're being attacked, of course not! I'm very, very sorry that I came across like that. That was never what I meant. I really only wanted to point out how remaining calm and polite has more far-reaching success, but of course that we're all only human and cannot be unfailingly polite and unmovable all the time.

This comment got very long. In any case, I hope I'm not sticking my foot in my mouth anymore.

I do think I'll just stop commenting in this kinds of threads like I said before — they're too volatile and I don't tend to word myself well.

I really only wanted to point out how remaining calm and polite has more far-reaching success, I completely agree with this point but it's really only a personal choice you can make. There's not really a good way to tell someone to calm down without making them feel like they are not being heard. Speaking specifically of this situation I've never heard that sentiment turned on the bigot, it seems it is always the minority who is burdened with being civil and respectful without being allowed to expect the same. I don't think that's what you meant to say here and I probably should have done a little more asking and a little less accusing.

I'm sorry this escalated the way it did and hope there are no hard feelings.

I don't know this for sure, but I think the bigots don't get that treatment because the horribleness in their comments is more distracting. Also, I suspect that if you told them to calm down they'd just turn up the trolling and/or the aggression.

...Come to think of it, I'd better let people duke it out and stay out of it altogether from now on.

None at all! This taught me to be more careful with my words, at least. Thank you for listening to me. Clearing this up made me feel much better. Sorry for causing it all in the first place.

I was talking more about RL situations which is why I may have lost it. I've been treated as the problem and people have tried to humiliate me down for responding negatively or defending someone else when people spew vile hatred. A lot of times I'm told to ignore it but you can only ignore so much and a lot of the time not saying something is what allows these people to continue their behavior and feel like people agree with them.

I'm glad you feel better, that makes me feel better!

Edited 2012-06-28 06:18 (UTC)

Oh, I was talking more about internet situations. I'm so sorry you've experienced that. That is entirely different. In real life you can't just avoid a username or hide behind anonymity to avoid reprisals.

TBH it's nice to know there's one less person who actually acts like that than I thought earlier. :)

[ SECRET POST #2003 ]

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