[ SECRET POST #2007 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2007 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 111 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - text secret ], [ 1 - empty image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

OP, this is going to sound mean, but ditch this person. She's only emotionally dragging you down with her. You can't "fix her". You did what any good friend would do: being there for her; and it didn't help. Just leave her. Walk out of that friendship before it keeps consuming you, because that's what will happen: you won't pull her up and out of her situation, she will pull you down and leave you trapped in a bad emotional place. If she wants to change and improve, she's the only person who can do it. You can't do it for her.

I'm telling you this because I've been in similar situations (with an alarming repetition, now that I think about it), and as much as it hurt to end a friendship with someone I cared so much about, I only realized how unhappy and used I felt by them until after I had cut ties with the person. You don't realize how much you had been hurting each other until after you've taken a step back and let enough time pass by to see and feel the difference.

[(Anonymous)]

OP

Yeah, it's not like I don't get it. But she's part of my friendship group in a fairly entrenched way - and without us, she really doesn't have anybody. We've taken fairly sensible limiting measures, like making sure we get plenty of down time, and only meeting her in a group. Seems bitchy but I really don't want to explode at her.

I've dropped friends at school, but it's a lot harder now I'm older. I can't do it, for the sake of my other closest friends. I'm not breaking up a mostly-functional group all over again.

[(Anonymous)]

Ah, a group dynamic does change matters. I thought it was more of a "you and her" friendship/relationship, while still belonging in a group.

Yeah, seems like your way might be the most turmoil-free. If you and your friends, as a group, do decide to either confront her until she shapes up or leave her, do consider it seriously. I get that it would be terrible to just abandon someone when they're alone, but if at some point this person starts creating conflict with her behavior (as it might get worse instead of remaining stable), don't feel that you're letting her down when it's your sanity on the line.

There is the chance that she will simply grow up with time and realize how much she's annoying you all, though.

Have any of you confronted her or had a heart-to-heart to make her aware of her behavior? If this has happened, and she didn't care, makes it very different than if she didn't know at all.