fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2008 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2008 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hate to break it to you but I'm not sure that's just teenager feelings. I think you just gain experience and learn how to cope and behave but those feelings don't go away. It makes me so unhappy when people talk about how mature and responsible I am because I still feel like such a child. I keep waiting to be suddenly conferred with adulthood but really I just seem to be good at faking my maturity so far. I'm pretty sure everyone feels a little teenagerish some days. Though I am all of twenty-one years so what do I know?

My issue with the writing is because it just reinforces all those annoying teenager tropes and sometimes encourages extreme behavior in young couples to "prove" their love for each other.

/While you might just be hormonal and everything does feel worse when it's happening to you and you are still a teenager and relatively inexperienced at coping with emotion I just want to make sure you're not suffering from depression? Some of the things you said in your first paragraph worried me a little.

idk, I feel like if I tried to talk to anyone about being depressed it would just be "oh, stop whining, everyone nowadays thinks they have some problem or disorder, suck it up, you're just blaming your bitchiness on it, blah blah blah".... I don't really know what to do. I've always just sort of felt like that? Like, the whole "is a zebra black with white stripes or white with black stripes" thing- I realized the other day that I'm sad with happy moments. I'll be happy when something good happens, but overall I'm not happy with my life at all and I can't ever remember being happy in general. I just don't want to be whiny about it, I guess. And as for whether or not they go away, you'd know better than me, of course. I've just always seen the whole "no one understands me" feeling associated with teenagers as one of the many annoying things we do. I just feel guilty when people complain about teenagers and our moodiness because I know I do that stuff a lot.

You can be depressed and still have happy moments. I understand your insecurity about talking to someone about your feelings that's exactly what stopped me from talking about my depression for a long time but I have to say a lot of the time when you reach out people do surprise you and I would like to encourage you to try and broach the subject with one of your parents. Maybe just talk to them and just tell them you aren't sure if your feelings are normal. There's really nothing anyone can do for you over the internet that doesn't have the potential for doing more harm than good.

I've talked about it with my parents and they don't care. My dad especially. My dad and my brother pretty much assume that I exist for the sole purpose of giving them a body to use as public property.... they're always touching me, "accidently" walking in on me, touching me in places I don't like as punishment for being annoying. My dad yelled at me for being "antisocial" for not letting my brother watch me get undressed once. I think my dad expected a lot more out of our relationship than I was ready to give, when I was little he'd talk to me about all his problems with my mom, say I was prettier than her and a better adult than her when I was 8, and I guess I disappointed him when I got older and I realized my mom wasn't so bad. I'm not a very good daughter- i don't give him enough and i'm too antisocial and I don't think he'll want to hear about it from me. My mom will listen, say she'll find me a therapist or someone to talk to, but it never happens, and my dad hates psychologists and therapists and thinks they're a scam so I guess I understand her not wanting to get into it.

idk. i'm not a very good person and I don't really think I deserve help, and people keep giving me contradictory information on the subject.

Fuck me, anon, that sounds really toxic, and of course you deserve to be happy. Sounds like therapy would be ideal, if you can access it. I forget if you said how old you are, but I hope you can move out of home soon and get some independence. Your dad's behaviour sounds like mine, and that is not a compliment.

thank you; and yeah, i guess it does sound pretty bad, but I can never be sure if that's reality or just me being a melodramatic teenage bitch. I'm 16, 17 in september, so I'm going to college after next year. I want to go to therapy but idk how I feel about sitting on a couch and telling some adult all my secrets, and I've tried talking to the social workers at my school but they took my dad's side and tried to put a positive spin on everything and that made me feel bad for complaining. whenever i try to talk to an adult about this they just point out all the good things and say everyone's going to be ok but honestly some days i think my dad might honestly murder me. he threw a glass dehumidifier at me once. it was pretty big and heavy.... he missed but if he hadn't i would have probably had to go to the hospital.

I hadn't seen this comment when I posted the one below but everything stands double for me now! I am really sorry the adults in your life have let you down. I want to strongly encourage you to go to therapy whether it be now or when you are in college. You need a healthy perspective on what is happening to you and help.

Please call these numbers and get help.
National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

What you're describing to me scared me. This is not a healthy situation and it is not your fault. Your father's expectations of you are not good and do not make you a bad daughter. I really want you to tell what you told us to an adult in your life. You do deserve help, no one deserves to have this happen to them. To be honest I'm far more concerned about your home life situation than about the likelihood of your depression which more and more seems like a byproduct of living with a form of abuse. You deserve to feel safe in your own home. You are not a bad daughter for loving your mother or not replacing her in your parent's relationship. You are not a bad daughter for wanting personal space and privacy.

You do deserve help. You are not a bad person. You do not deserve how your father makes you feel. Parents don't always know what is best and what you're describing here to me sounds like abuse. You can still love your father while he does inappropriate things. You are not responsible for what he does and the fact that you seem so guilty for disappointing his unreasonable expectations seems to be a side-effect of his negative influence. I really wish I knew a way to help you but all I can say is please speak to someone you trust in real life. I can't stress enough how much you do not deserve and are not responsible for what is happening.

I am legitimately concerned by what you said and feel awful. In no way do I think this situation is at all your fault and I cannot stress enough how much I hope you can find someone in real life who can help you with this. I am in no way equipped to handle this. If you don't have anyone in your life you can confide in please call these toll-free numbers and talk to someone about your situation if only to get some perspective and realize this is not your fault.

National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

[ SECRET POST #2008 ]

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