[ SECRET POST #2008 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2008 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Same Anon

[(Anonymous)]

Oh dear goodness, anon, I know exactly how you feel. I spent a good part of my teenaged years being obnoxious and horrible, and then (ridiculously, thanks to a movie) I realised just how awful I'd been, and how I was going to end up if I kept along my path.

It's painful, I know it is, to look in the mirror and say to yourself, "Stop that. You're being ridiculous. No one cares, and you won't care in the morning, so go get some sleep instead of making a whiny livejournal post and you'll be fine." It's painful to stop yourself in moments of glorious self-pity and tell yourself off for feeling down, when people in the world (and even people around you!) have it so much worse than you do. It's painful to stop yourself in moments of joy and wonder if you're irritating others and whether you should tone it down.

It's great that you've realised you have tendencies to act in ways which might annoy people. You know what to watch for, and how to moderate your behaviour in public or around people you don't know well. With age and maturity, it'll become second nature, and you'll be able to interact with people easily without it having to be a constant mental battle against yourself.

But when you start to police your own emotions, that's when this practice starts to hurt you. It might take you a while to really understand and believe this and take it to heart, but you have every right to feel the way you feel, even if it's a cliche feeling for the situation, or the reasons for it are stupid. Your feelings (especially the feelings of sadness you mentioned) are real, and valid, and you don't have to dismiss them just because it's a stereotypical teenager thing to be sad. I don't know anything about your situation, but I do know that your hormones are doing wacky things right now, and that alone is a damn good reason to be sad. And you don't even need a good reason to be sad! I know I didn't.

Keeping a journal might help, but only if you can get past those mental blocks you've got set up right now that say "I need to be not-annoying to everyone" and write only for an audience of you. Keeping a journal will also help you see what progress you've made, or keep track of whether things are getting worse. And I feel the need to mention that clinical depression is a real illness, just as much as diabetes or a broken leg, and it often manifests during or around puberty. It's not 'stereotypical' or 'annoying' to get it as a teenager.

If you think your sadness has gone beyond what you can handle, please do talk to someone! I hope you have a good friend or an adult you can trust and rely on, but if you don't, there are resources like school counsellors, Kid's Help Phone, or even f!s. You don't have to shoulder it all alone. Being mature doesn't mean being able to carry the weight of the world. It also means recognising when you need someone to take some of the load for you.

Just remember that, even if there are people out there who wish you'd shut up and go away, there are also people who care about you and want only the best for you. Even some complete strangers. <3

Same Anon

[(Anonymous)]

well, thanks, I guess. It's just that this is pretty much the same advice every adult gives me and it all seems really contradictory and doesn't make any sense to me.