Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-07-02 06:36 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-07-02 06:36 pm
[ SECRET POST #2008 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2008 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #287.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Same Anon
There's very little that will ever be funny to me about my father spitting on me, calling me worthless and threatening to kick me out, and I doubt there ever willl be.
My advice isn't universal. There are certainly many situations where other people's opinions matter and you should certainly care about them. I may have missed something you said in another comment elsewhere in the thread, so I don't necessarily have all the details. If your father is threatening to kick you out for dating someone, then absolutely you should avoid dating him or doing whatever is going to get you kicked out. If, however, your only problem is not wanting to appear like a stereotypical teenager - but you won't actually face any particularly serious consequences for being one/appearing as one - then no, other people's opinions won't really matter in that context, which is what I assumed the given situation was.
I'm looking over what I wrote, and I'm...honestly not sure where I gave off the impression that you should bend over backwards to please people. You don't have to bend over backwards or constantly please people to be polite. Sometimes being polite will do nothing but piss people off, in all honesty, but more often than not it'll make people like you, or at least give them less/no reason to hate you on sight. Rewording things doesn't meant tip-toeing around issues or trying to be politically correct - it's just a way to better help people understand you. In the example I gave, "nobody understands me" is extremely vague and has many connotations of self-centeredness which is why it's so negatively associated with teenagers. The line I gave was making the answer slightly less vague/generic and a little less self-centered, which can, reduce the appearances of being a stereotypical teenager, which seemed to be your primary concern based on your comments.
As for the majors thing - it's not about picking majors (though that makes up the bulk of the issue), it's about being practical about one's future. I know kids who are taking highly impractical majors (like the infamous "pathway to homelessness" major Philosophy) but have plans for their course of studies and their futures. While they may or may not have picked this major based entirely on their desires, they are thinking ahead. The kids I was talking about are ones who are just picking something either nearly at random or based entirely on what they want to study with little to no consideration for their futures or how they will make their way through life once they are done with college and no longer have a safety net. I don't expect people to have their future perfectly planned out - hell, I certainly don't - but a little consideration as to what you would like to do as a career field or how you might apply your skills/major into supporting yourself is paramount. The reason why I judge them so harshly is based not just on this issue alone, but also the ripples they cause in the rest of the college system they are in - but that's another can of worms that's not entirely relevant here. The simplified version is that people with no plans who are dicking around college just for the hell of it without actually doing it are making life much more difficult for the rest of us who are trying to get something done, often on a tight schedule, and make something of our lives.
And I never meant to imply this, and if I did, I'm sorry - but I don't think being gentle and sensitive is a bad thing. I'm pretty certain that if a portion of the human population weren't sensitive and gentle, we as a species would've ripped ourselves apart and died off a long time ago. That said, being gentle and sensitive isn't going to be an applicable plan in every situation - no personality trait is (including my..."machismo"? Me being macho is...actually also rather funny, and I'm not entirely sure where that one came from, either). Again, if someone is threatening to kick you out of your home because of your dating habits, then that's a different ball game entirely and that's not really what I was talking about at all. And yes, I understand that not everyone is good as ignoring rumors and harsh words - but there are periods in everyone's life where there isn't much else you can do.
Life is full of "damned if you do and damned if you don't" situations, and once you're in one the only thing you can really do is try to make the best of what you have.