[ SECRET POST #2016 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2016 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 065 secrets from Secret Submission Post #288.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[nachtmusik]

Uh. How was Merida a total brat? I mean come on, marriage is a big deal, and it was just kind of dropped on her as a total bombshell out of nowhere. She probably knew it was coming eventually, but it suddenly being right there in front of her freaked her out. On top of that, the whole arranged marriage thing has never been pleasant and any woman ever to argue against it is in the right, quite frankly. She did go too far re; the glib comments about going to war and re; being more worried about the marriage than her mom's wellbeing when she was groaning in pain after eating the cake, but it's not like Elinor was being mom of the year either. I mean, Merida in a dress so tight she could barely move? Not "perfect". Not even okay.

The whole point of the movie was that both sucked at listening to each other at first, but came to realize their mistakes through their ordeal and both chose to atone for them.

[(Anonymous)]

Merida was also in an arranged marriage, and it worked out pretty great for them.

[(Anonymous)]

I assume you mean the mom here, and not Merida, since Merida is the daughter.

The mom admits at one point in the movie that for a long time after she married her husband, she didn't love him, but it eventually "worked itself out". She got lucky, or maybe she made a lot of personal sacrifices to feel happy in her situation.

Either way, forced marriages don't really ever seem like a good idea.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't remember Elinor saying that. I remember Elinor telling Fergus in the bedroom that she had "misgivings at learning of [her] own arranged marriage" and him shooting her a surprised look and her going on to say that it "all worked out fine." But I don't remember it saying that her misgivings lasted a long time. Then again, I haven't seen it in awhile so I may be remembering it wrong.

[nachtmusik]

...Um. Yeah sure sometimes an arranged marriage can work out okay like with Elinor and Fergus (I'm assuming that's what you meant), but that doesn't mean it's a good idea or that there's any reason Merida shouldn't have been apprehensive. Arranged marriages are kind of like potluck college roommates; sure you might get someone you like but you're just as likely to get a pain in the ass. Except marriage is permanent, or at least it's supposed to be and would be in a setting like this, so it's way worse than getting a lousy college roommate.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't necessarily condone arranged marriage, but there's also a big difference: the people choosing your potential spouse are your parents. While your parents aren't perfect, they are generally people that do want the best for you and will look for a suitable partner. It might not be someone you'd love, but someone you'd get along with or like. College roommates are not chosen with the same consideration.

Again, I don't necessarily agree with it, but there are definitely cultures that support it and not without reason. It's not like love necessarily does a better job picking a life partner: how many marriages based on love still end in divorce and/or abuse? If anything, the two parties marrying would go in with clearer heads.

[nachtmusik]

...Uh, no? The common thing in cultures that go with arranged marriages is to use a matchmaker, who is just as much of a third party as those in charge of setting up college roommates. And even in cases like with Brave, the criteria wasn't which of the 3 suitors would be the best match for Merida. It was which of them could do the best job of hitting a target with an arrow. Had Merida been compliant with the whole thing, she'd have been married off to a boy that snaps into rabid dog mode on a semi-regular basis. Sounds like a wonderful idea to me, suuuuuure.

And quite frankly, the idea of my parents picking who I'm going to marry for me is just appalling. Even if the choice was someone I'd get along well with or what have you, the fact of the matter is that marriage is a major, life-altering thing, and it's my life, so the decision should be mine. Even if I make a bad choice and regret it later and get a divorce. Even if I never get married. Even if I can't get married because the person I would choose to marry happens to be another woman [assuming wherever I live still outlaws same sex marriage].

Sure, maybe some people are fine with arranged marriages, and so long as both parties in any given couple whose marriage is set up that way is alright with it, it's none of my business. But it's ridiculous IMO to scoff at someone for rebelling against it. I can't think of any good argument to tell someone who is against arranged marriages and doesn't want to have one that they should suck and up and do it.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think so, at least I can provide a link that Indian parents usually are the "matchmakers": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage_in_the_Indian_subcontinent#Developments_in_the_modern_period India ≠ everywhere, but I do have evidence to support my claim.

Had Merida been compliant with the whole thing, she'd have been married off to a boy that snaps into rabid dog mode on a semi-regular basis.

That's great, but you were talking about arranged marriages as a whole. That's what I was disputing. They can be substantially less random than the college roommate.

And quite frankly, the idea of my parents picking who I'm going to marry for me is just appalling.

Your culture ≠ everyone's culture. Many other people are content with that. We're not talking about you, an American (based on your profile), we're talking about people who were raised in a culture with arranged marriage being the norm. Those people are not wrong for not agreeing with you.

Sure, maybe some people are fine with arranged marriages, and so long as both parties in any given couple whose marriage is set up that way is alright with it, it's none of my business. But it's ridiculous IMO to scoff at someone for rebelling against it. I can't think of any good argument to tell someone who is against arranged marriages and doesn't want to have one that they should suck and up and do it.

I never said anything about it being wrong to rebel. You were talking about how horrible it is as an institution and compared it to college roommates. I just said that there are a bunch of cultures where it is common and acceptable and that it isn't as random as you're making it out to be. You were making ignorant statements about arranged marriage and I took issue with that. Rebelling against that is nothing wrong, but what you were saying was wrong.

[(Anonymous)]

I thought Merida was a brat for her stubbornness and ungratefulness in other situations outside of the marriage deal. I can totally understand her being against the forced marriage because, hey, it's a FORCED marriage. But outside of that all she wanted to do was run around in the wood and shoot arrows and avoid all her obligations altogether. If she had at least tried to put her best foot forward in fulfilling those obligations and failed only to have her mother yell at her for not being good enough, I would have liked her better but she simply seemed to want to avoid them altogether and was completely unyielding in even trying. Not a very admirable quality.

If she hated the thought of ruling that bad she should have tried to step down and allow one of her brothers to take over.

[(Anonymous)]

She didn't see the point of those actions, though. It's one thing to say you have to learn these things, but another reason entirely to explain why and Elinor didn't even bother with the why. Merida realized the why later, when she had to act as her mother usually did.

[nachtmusik]

What anon above said. Also it was kind of indicated that days when she got to do what she enjoyed were rare. It's not like she was out running around in the woods with her bow all day on a daily, or even weekly basis.