[ SECRET POST #2022 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2022 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #289.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Rec this

[(Anonymous)]

"I have self-lubricated my anus for you Dexter." Jeff Goldblum announced.

"Darling, are you sure you don't mind having a threesome with my dark passenger?" Dexter asked again because he was big on consent issues like a true gentleman. Even serial killers can have manners.

"Yes. Yes. Put your dark passenger in me." Jeff Goldblum panted, writhing on the table.

"Please keep on the plastic," Dexter reminded his lover. "You are very sexy but that is not an acceptable excuse for sloppiness." He put his penis inside of his lover's ass womb. There was sex.

"I am coming. I am coming inside of your self-lubricated anus Jeff Goldblum." Dexter shouted. His penis knotted because he had accidentally got some werewolf blood in his mouth during his last kill. He wasn't a werewolf though, just his penis.

His penis kept coming inside of his lover's uterectum.

"Fill me up with your hot Dexter sperm. Fill me up an implausible amount."

His penis kept coming. It got a little boring. They discussed Avatar.

"I don't care what you say Mako is Korra's true love." Dexter announced as his penis finally slipped out.

"I am pregnant. I am pregnant with the child of someone who stans Mako." Jeff Goldblum cried out. "Are they mine." "Oh my god how could you say that to me?" Jeff Goldblum ran away and cried.

Now he's in labor and doesn't know what to do because he is not a full grown adult who knows how to call 911. There's blood and stuff. It's gross. It's probably a good thing Dexter is not there. If he saw that he would pass out and not be attracted to Jeff Goldblum's fertile sphincter anymore.

He has twins. A boy and a girl. They are beautiful raptors with giant fly wings and eyes. He decides to name them Dextina and Jeff Goldblum Jr.

Dexter runs up. "OMG I am so glad I found you. I could not live without you. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. Well, I could eat. I had a Big Mac on the way over here but you know what I mean. I am so sorry promise you'll never leave me again."

"Do you see our analbabies?" "Yes and they are beautiful what are their names." "Dextina and Jeff Goldblum Jr." "I love you."

Dextina ate her parents while her brother played with Dexter's phone. It is an Iphone so obviously he accidentally shut down Skynet and saved the world. They were heroes until he and Dextina ate everybody. Neatly. Even serial killing, l33t hacker, raptor-fly mutants have manners.

Re: Rec this

[(Anonymous)]

A+. Is this the same anon who posted about that pairing on my omegaverse question?

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

No, I wrote it last night and did not post it here. I'm totally flattered but horrified at the thought of someone outside of F!S reading this! :(

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

I wrote this! No one rec this anywhere! What happens in fandomsecrets stays in fandomsecrets! No one understands me but you guys!

Re: Rec this

[insanenoodlyguy]

I am copy pasting this and posting it on AO3! This must be shared with the world!

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

Whatever I'm already working on blacking out this whole incident. I slept last night and did absolutely nothing embarrassing.

Re: Rec this

[insanenoodlyguy]

You have 12 favorites and 4 commision requests, 2 furry related. I'm just putting up all your contact info to save some time, k?

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

*fingers in ears* lalalalala I can't hear you!

Seriously if you do that and my e-mail gets spammed because of this I will personally forward you each and every one.

Re: Rec this

[(Anonymous)]

I truly wish someone would illustrate this tho. Dexter. Jeff Goldblum. KNOTTING! It's like all the good things in life converging, all the things worth living for, neatly lined up.

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

This is all I got.


If someone wants to write about the epic adventures of Dextina and Jeff Goldblum Jr.'s l33t hacking, neat murdering rampage I may be convinced to do some really shitty Dexter/Jeff Goldblum eye horror.

Re: Rec this

[greenvelvetcake]

Too late. Every single one of my fandom friends is reading this as we speak. ALL TWO OF THEM!

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

...Of course this would be my fic that gets rec'ed. Of course. I am going to be that girl who wrote that Dexter/Jeff Goldblum Omega!verse trainwreck until this account dies. Greatness.

Re: Rec this

[insanenoodlyguy]

I will now follow you around. Every time it's relevant, any post, anywhere, I need to mention

"OH YEAH? WELL YOU WROTE DEXTER/JEFF GOLBLUM OMEGA FIC!"

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

Maybe I should just embrace it and pretend it gives my rep street cred.


I WROTE DEXTER/JEFF GOLDBLUM OMEGA FIC!

Re: Rec this

[insanenoodlyguy]

RIGHT THIS WAY MADAM

Re: Rec this

[republicanism.livejournal.com]

fuck that!

send to publishing company, be next EL james, make billions

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

How many billions would it take to scrub the shame out of my dirty, dirty soul so I could once again look humanity in the eye do you think?

Re: Rec this

[republicanism.livejournal.com]

you're a billionaire. you can buy a new soul!

Re: Rec this

[(Anonymous)]

"I have self-lubricated my anus for you Dexter" Jeff Goldblum announced.

"Darling, are you sure you don't mind having a threesome with my dark passenger?" Dexter asked again because he was big on consent issues like a true gentleman. Even serial killers have manners.

"Yes. Yes. Put your dark passenger in me" Jeff Goldblum panted, writhing on the table.

"Please keep on the plastic," Dexter reminded his lover. "You are very sexy but that is not an acceptable excuse for sloppiness." He put his penis inside of his lover's ass womb. There was sex.

"I am coming. I am coming inside of your self-lubricated anus Jeff Goldblum" Dexter shouted. His penis knotted because he had accidentally got some werewolf blood in his mouth during his last kill. He wasn't a werewolf though, just his penis.

His penis kept coming inside of his lover's uterectum.

"Fill me up with your hot Dexter sperm. Fill me up an implausible amount."

His penis kept coming. It got a little boring. They discussed Avatar.

"I don't care what you say Mako is Korra's true love" Dexter announced as his penis finally slipped out.

"I am pregnant. I am pregnant with the child of someone who stans Mako" Jeff Goldblum cried out.

"Are they mine"

"Oh my god how could you say that to me?"

Jeff Goldblum ran away and cried.



Now he's in labor and doesn't know what to do because he is not a full grown adult who knows how to call 911. There's blood and stuff. It's gross. It's probably a good thing Dexter is not there. If he saw that he would pass out and not be attracted to Jeff Goldblum's fertile sphincter anymore.

He has twins. A boy and a girl. They are beautiful raptors with giant fly wings and eyes. He decides to name them Dextina and Jeff Goldblum Jr.

Dexter runs up. "OMG I am so glad I found you. I could not live without you. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. Well, I could eat. I had a Big Mac on the way over here but you know what I mean. I am so sorry promise you'll never leave me again."

"Do you see our analbabies?"

"Yes and they are beautiful hat are their names"

"Dextina and Jeff Goldblum Jr."

"I love you."

Dextina her parents while her brother with Dexter's phone. It is an phone so obviously he accidentally down Skynet and the world. They heroes until he and Dextina everybody. Neatly. Even serial killing, l33t hacker, raptor-fly mutants have manners.

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

Did you just beta my badfic? I... I hope you know I read this as a love note.

Re: Rec this

[insanenoodlyguy]

Congrats anonymously! *throws rice*

Re: Rec this

[anonymouslyyours]

Dude, trigger warning! Pigeons could have flashbacks to rice-related deaths of loved ones.

Re: Rec this

[insanenoodlyguy]

I am pigeonphobic. They can all eat rice.

ALL OF THEM

TRIGGER WARNING: mention of "Oh, sorry, for, not, warning, for, mention, of, pigeons,."

[anonymouslyyours]

Oh, sorry for not warning for mention of pigeons.

Re: Rec this

[agentcthulhu]

This thread is beautiful. A+!