[ SECRET POST #2022 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2022 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #289.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[chanterofelegies]

Yes, telling people to go kill themselves, even jokingly, is so cool.

[insanenoodlyguy]

I'm sorry, but if a clearly sarcastic comment is what pushes you over the edge, you had problems I didn't cause so much as be there for.

[(Anonymous)]

That's not what sarcasm means. If it was sarcasm, you'd be making fun of the people who said those things, when the OP was clearly the victim of any mocking in that comment. It wasn't a serious threat, of course, but it wasn't sarcastic (which can be hard to understand via the internet anyway, for certain people especially). Everyone's a jerk on the internet sometimes, but it's better to apologize then say something like that- while technically true, this comment is ridiculously insensitive.

[insanenoodlyguy]

I'll concede sarcasm doesn't always translate well, but I think I made it clear my comments were less then serious. the point, rather, is that even the most venomous criticism is usually pretty ridiculous if you think about it. It's text on your monitor. If somebody says that to OP and means it, it has as much impact on their lives, until they let it have more. And they shouldn't.

This said, I don't think I've said anything that requires an actual apology here yet.

[(Anonymous)]

"It's text on your monitor."-um, okay? They're not scared of the actual physical text, they're scared of what the text means. Can we please, as a culture, get over this ridiculous idea that the internet is this magical, mystical alternate universe where nothing means anything and no one has feelings?

You sound like a very thick-skinned person. That's cool. Some people aren't. That's also cool. The argument basically comes down to the thick-skinned folks saying: "Well, if everyone wasn't so sensitive, then we could all just say what we want, and everyone would get along merrily and be happy", and thin-skinned folks saying: "Well, if everyone was a little more sensitive to others, then no one would be hurt in the first place and everyone would just get along merrily and be happy," and the argument just goes round and round in circles and I doubt I'm going to change your mind about it in this comment. I sympathize with the second statement, you probably sympathize with the first.

On the other hand, this secret annoyed me because I find people whining about social justice warriors very tiresome when they take the first view when it comes to them being offensive and the second when it comes to someone hurting THEIR feelings (I'm probably more social justice-y than most on f!s, although I do NOT support dogpiling and attacking unless a person is being absolutely horrible and refuses to stop- but I generally save that for kids on tumblr who post pictures of them in blackface making "ghetto" poses, tag them with the n-word, respond to my message of "that's hurtful, because that word has a loaded history and you're reducing a whole group of people to a stereotype" with "STFU YOU CUNT! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE YOU BITCH", not fanfic writers), so I would have agreed with you, but the sentiment of "it's online, so it shouldn't hurt your feelings or else you're a BIG FAT BABY HAHA" is something I'll never be able to get behind. I understand what you're saying, it just looks very different from my perspective.

[insanenoodlyguy]

See now, I'm not so sure if this was even a SJ thing. It might be, it's certainly open to that interpretation, but I think it's more then that.

Op also mentioned if his character didn't correspond to fandom's opinion of that character, or portraying those loved in certain lights. The SJ sorts of things were also mentioned, but it sounds like this writer is afraid of any sort of negative commentary in general, not just SJ stuff.

And yeah, if you are going to post fanfic, you need a thicker skin then that. And shouldn't whine so much about how you really want to post fanfic. Negative commentary was around back when these were all still the earliest message boards.

[(Anonymous)]

Agree with all of this and very well-said, thank you.

[(Anonymous)]

...You told someone to kill themselves in a way that might very well not translate as joking - and before you scoff, remember: It's been enough to push people over the edge before.

[(Anonymous)]

Sarcasm isn't going to change how someone feels if you just said that to a person who, say, just lost their best friend to suicide.

[insanenoodlyguy]

See now, when you start tossing out those kindsa hypotheticals, you could go anywhere. I could give someone similar feels talking about Batman's origin story if one of their friends has just been shot.

I could have given someone feels for my comment to the bipolar person in the general before, if they have a family member who suffers from that, or is that person.

We can go on. It's actually very, very easy to do that sort of thing even when you have the best of intentions.

However, there's a line where true insensitivity or outright malice begins. Note that your tossing out an example of where somebody could be hurt. That doesn't necessarily mean they have been. But even if you are correct... I won't be the only thing that reminds somebody of their friend. Hell, I won't be the only thing that reminds them of their friend TODAY. That's how grief works.

[anonymouslyyours]

I didn't read it as jokingly telling someone to go kill themselves just using an example of some of the worse things that people could say.