[ SECRET POST #2028 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2028 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 107 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

NA

we then should affirm their choice to not work

Except that NO ONE is doing that or saying anyone should do that. What they are affirming is that the job market sucks and it's scary and that the OP's feelings are valid and hard to deal with. NO ONE is saying, OMG OP NEVER GET A JOB YOU ARE TOO SPECIAL. The OP is feeling worried and inadequate, and is deserving of support and help with those feelings because they are a human being and our compassion (the compassion of some strangers on the internet) costs us nothing to give.

[(Anonymous)]

The OP is feeling worried and inadequate, and the OP is deserving of strong encouragement to do whatever he or she has to do to get out there and start trying to get a job. The OP is also deserving of a little bit of shaming for not doing so already. To me, that is ultimately the compassionate thing to do because OP really needs that kick in the ass to get out there and focus on trying to be self-sufficient. Hugging people and telling them that what they're doing is fine is not a compassionate choice if what they're doing is harmful.

[emma_moon]

Why would you shame someone at all? We only know a bit of what the OP's life is like from a few sentences. There could be more to the story than we know of.

No one is telling the OP not to get a job but like another anon said how hard is it to give a little bit of compassion? I know there are many of us that have been in a similar situation and have had no one to turn to when we needed help. A few encouraging words cost nothing and may make the OP feel better and possibly try and go out and look for work.

[akashasheiress]

Seriously. I don't get the obsession with 'shaming'. Again, I think people only do it to feel superior.

DA

[(Anonymous)]

Hey, I'm not trying to start any drama or be an asshole here, but sometimes the worst thing anyone can do is show too much compassion. It's clear OP has some problems, and I don't think encouraging them is bad, necessarily. It's when 'encouragement' turns into 'big hug box' that it's a problem. OP will never improve themselves unless they take that first step, and when people still encourage them to stay involved in fandom/not worry about it/not improve, they remain stuck in that sort of 'downward spiral' that anons below spoke about.

I'm not saying LOL BOOTSTRAPS BUCK UP SON, but I am saying that OP needs to stop dwelling on it and try to take some corrective action to improve their lives. Things don't improve because you wish it so, they improve because you make them.

Again, not trying to be a drama llama, just offering a different perspective.

Re: DA

[emma_moon]

But we don't know what is actually going on in the OP's life. All we have are a few sentences. And it's possible that the OP can't articulate what is going on very well. I know that I have that problem and it's hard to say or type out what's wrong.

I don't think anyone is coddling the OP here. We're just holding out a helping hand and that hand is there to get the OP headed in the right direction. That's all. There have been harsh comments on here toward the OP calling them lazy and such. How do we know they don't have severe depression? Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed let alone look for work. And sometimes it's easier to get lost in fandom to have some type of escape from the disappointments and frustrations of RL.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Shaming is never "ultimately the compassionate thing to do". It's just not. It may be ultimately helpful, but that is not the same thing.

And AGAIN, no one is "telling them that what they're doing is fine", they are telling them what they're feeling is valid and may be something they need to seek help for if it's preventing them from being happy, which it obviously is. Do you see the difference between condoning actions and having sympathy/compassion for feelings? Because that may be where we are not getting each other.