[ SECRET POST #2030 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2030 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Nana to Kaoru, Oyasumi Punpun, Onani Master Kurosawa]


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03.
[Terry Pratchett]


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04.
[The Hollow Crown: Henry IV]


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05.
[Tori Amos]


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06.
[Dragon Age: Origins]


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07.
[Rihanna, S&M]


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08.
[LotR RPF]


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09.
[On the Road]


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10.
[SM Entertainment - Super Junior, SHINee and EXO]


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11.
[Sherlock]


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12.
[Planescape Torment]


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13.
[The Devil in the White City]


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14.
[CATverse]


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15.
[Fate/stay night]


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16.
[Rammstein]


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17.
[Mass Effect]


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18.
[Metalocalypse]


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19.
[Arashi, V6]


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20.
[Legend of Korra]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

06. http://i50.tinypic.com/a5i07.png
[Dragon Age: Origins]

[(Anonymous)]

You can also analyze what it is about Zevran (other than his being "animated") that appeals to you.

Sometimes analyzing what empty space a particular crush might be fulfilling for you can lead to valuable insight.

Or masturbation.

It's all good.

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP but in a somewhat similar situation (the in-love-with-fictional-character bit, not the boyfriend part) -- how would you go about analyzing something like that? I'd really like to figure it out and get to know myself better, but I don't know where to start.

[(Anonymous)]

Though this might be in the "well, duh" category - I think if you sit down and articulate, and comprehensively and accurately as you can, what it is about that character that appeals to you. Especially those things they do / ways they approach the world / ways they react / aura they present ... that you don't.

[(Anonymous)]

This is a good comment and you should feel good.

OP here

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I am no stranger to masturbation.

I think I have a pretty good idea about what it is about him that appeals to me. I like the cheeky humor (and cheekiness in general), the shades of gray morality, the sexual openness/adventurousness,yet more-than-meets the eye if you dig deeper. Well and the looks don't hurt either.

I dunno, maybe I AM just suffering from routine of being in a relationship, but then I think I've always been more adventurous/free spirited than the men I've dated and it seems to be a bit of a pattern that I feel like things stagnate, and I'd sort of long for more excitement. And someone like Zevran seems like he'd just come up with exciting new stuff regularly. But maybe that's too much analysis already.

The problem is, knowing that doesn't really change all that much, I think.

[world_eater]

You're putting some video game character on a pedestal, it happens to all people - take how many people are absolutely convinced they're in love with that one celebrity. You might want to argue that you really "know him" because you can interact with him in the game, but let's face it, everything you see too are only choice bits.

[elaminator]

Yea, this. If Alistair were real I'd be on that in a second, but he's not. What I have is a crush, but most people do develop them on fictional characters and real people too; it's a very non-threatening thing most of the time.

If there are aspects of Zevran's personality that intrigue and attract you (and obviously there are), that's perfectly normal too.

And you mention not knowing if you can be emotionally faithful to one person for your whole life; maybe you can't. It's not for everyone.

[thene]

This sounds pretty normal for a long term relationship. The NRE wears off but you're still dedicated to being with someone, and...life goes on. At this point, getting romantic crushes on people other than your partner is a normal thing that everyone does. Me and my spouse talk about ours all the time.

[kallanda_lee]

Ah, Zevran, the beautiful elven heartbreaker...

[(Anonymous)]

If you feel the relationship is stagnating, but you want to preserve it, why not try doing some fun stuff with your partner? Try to nudge him into doing more exciting things. Try to encourage him. Does he know that you need this sort of excitement?
Telepathy is not a reliable form of communication....

[(Anonymous)]

Op here.

I do try to nudge him. But at the end of the day he's just a pretty "homey" kind of person,while I just want to be out and doing stuff. And nudging too hard just gets him out of his comfort zone and that's no fun for either of us.

I think there's also a sort of frustration, is that 9 times out of 10, when we do something new or exciting, it's basically me who arranged it. And that wouldn't even be so bad if that would actually make him happy, but it seems often he's basically doing it to only make *me* happy. Which I appreciate very much in the sense that it's nice he wants to make me happy, but sucks on the level that it's basically a favor to me, and not a "fun thing" to do together.

So I guess the fantasy of someone taking me on an adventure, or being sexually experimental is just a very nice one for me right now. Because basically it's me who's always in that role.

If that makes sense.

[(Anonymous)]

Another anon here. It sounds to me like your boyfriend isn't the most suitable partner for you. I'm not surprised you develop crushes on fictional characters if he doesn't fulfill your emotional needs.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know how you would describe suitable. I think all people have sides you like more and sides you like less.

I find my boyfriend attractive, intelligent and funny - and we have compatible views about the future. I think that's a hell of a lot already. Frankly I'd have trouble finding someone who is more matched to me (not to mention the fact that I actually love him and leaving would make me a sad puppy).

But, it's like one aspect of the relationship that is an issue.

I'm not like mega-experienced, but I had this issue in my previous ltr as well. So honestly, it might just be me - I mean in the sense that I do require a lot more excitement than your average person.

And basically, sooner or later, in any relationship - no matter how much I love someone, I will start looking at other guys again. Usually around 2-3 years into being together.

[(Anonymous)]

Looking at and thinking about other guys after a while is only natural. It just sounds to me like spending the rest of your life, or at least a large part of it, whith someone who just doesn't satisfy your adventurous side at all and makes you feel bad when you arrange some excitement for the two of you yourself would make you miserable. But I don't know you, and maybe it's not as big a problem as your secret made it out to be?

Have you tried actually talking to your boyfriend about this and not just try to nudge him into being more adventurous? It's as much his job to satisfy your need for adventure and sexual experimentation from time to time as it is yours to satisfy his need to be "homey", after all.