[ SECRET POST #2031 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2031 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 043 secrets from Secret Submission Post #290.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

12. http://i49.tinypic.com/2gtvsyw.png

[(Anonymous)]

Perhaps it feels odd precisely because you'd be drawing on your own RL experiences, and so writing about it might feel somewhat ... exhibitionistic? Like posting nude photos of yourself on-line?

[(Anonymous)]

What they said.

The people who've never done those things who write about it probably don't feel embarassed because it isn't as "real" for them - it's just a fantasy.

[elaminator]

This makes sense to me. I don't think the OP should be ashamed or afraid to write smut because sex is perfectly normal and natural, and even if they do draw from RL experiences there are probably lots of other people who do the same. But I can definitely understand why that could be awkward.

[(Anonymous)]

Op here: That actually makes a lot of sense, thank you for that insight!

[(Anonymous)]

You're welcome. :)

(I went through pretty much the same wonderment as you expressed - heck I even had some of the same experiences. Had about a half-dozen more serious relationships - with men and women - before I married. Dabbled in quite a few ... well, let's say kink bingo cards don't make me blush? :p ... and I now enjoy writing plotty stuff more than smut.

I've written lemon for some fandoms, but mostly now if I do write sexier stuff it's limey erotica, with more of a focus on buildup and foreplay than Tab A / Slot B.

My parting advice is to write what you enjoy. If you're not interested in writing smut for a particular fandom, that's perfectly okay. And you can be secure in the knowledge that if you ever DO feel like writing something steamy, you'll nail it.

(pun intended.)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure about the nailing it part - I mean, just because you did it doesn't mean you can write good erotica about it.

[(Anonymous)]

I've heard people musing on how they lost their ability to make super hot romantic sex scenes once they had sex, because suddenly they could see all the things that they got wrong and they couldn't "fake it" for fiction after knowing how it doesn't work like that for them.

[thene]

I still had fun with superhot sex even once I was well into an LTR, but what I've found is that I'm gradually moving towards writing more realistic, more mundane depictions of sex. I can definitely still fake it but I'm becoming more interested in telling it like it is.

[(Anonymous)]

Pegging isn't a really weird fetish. It's probably a lot more common than you think, but rampant homophobia tends to make men feel uncomfortable talking about it.

[(Anonymous)]

Op here: I still think it wouldn't really be something I'd casually discuss with most of my friends...and I have weirder fetishes than that, too.

[n7of9]

'pegging'...i didn't know there was a word for it...thanks :)

[(Anonymous)]

Same problem. I was NC-17-ing it up for years, but after a few months of regular sex, the ability disappeared. Not that some people can't do it, but for me? Writing it made it really...awkward.

[habilelapin]

For me it gets weird when I write about things I don't do, or can't experience. Like, for example, BDSM, which does nothing for me. I have a really hard time imagining any scenes with it, which makes me feel awkward with kink memes. I have no idea what the actual feelings are supposed to be during certain acts, and I don't want to Do It Wrong.

But really, anon, we need more people writing what you write. So no worries.

[maverickz3r0]

I can get that. I'm into kinky stuff too IRL, but I don't write sex all that much. For the most part even what I do write hardly anyone but me has seen, and absolutely no one has seen some of it. And part of it is the same as you, although I'm pretty self-conscious about my writing in general and sex writing a million times more.

[(Anonymous)]

This is kind of how I felt about writing femslash (at first). I really only fantasize about women so when I was writing slash, it felt distant. When I started writing femslash, I'd get turned on writing it and I was afraid other people would catch on. /stupid issues

But I'd say not to worry about it. You should write what you want to write. If you want to write plotty romance, you should keep doing it and if you want to occasionally write smut, you should do that too.

[(Anonymous)]

If you can't write about things you have done, then could you write about things you haven't done? (For instance, if you're in the Harry Potter fandom, you could write about the use of magic in sex--that's certainly something you've never done in real life.)

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I think that would be easier, actually.

[(Anonymous)]

Using strap-ons are a weird fetish? Um, only if you're a fairly vanilla heterosexual. You sound a little repressed, and not come to terms with the PERVERT label, so I'd say that might have something to do with your discomfort about taking it to the writing stage.

[(Anonymous)]

huh, that's a good point

[la_petite_singe]

Eh, don't worry, you're not a pervert unless you legit want to hurt RL people. That's about it, as far as I'm concerned.

[(Anonymous)]

It's not just you! I'm the exact same way, and for the reasons other people have already stated. That's fine with me, though. I'll stick to my actual life for the kinky sex, and embrace the fluff/romance/non-explicit stuff in fic.

[(Anonymous)]

Or maybe you'd like to fantasize about something different from your own experience? Maybe you've satisfied most of your sexual curiosity with your real-life encounters and are more interested in emotional explorations?

I know that sounds kinda new-agey and silly but something about what you said struck a chord with me. Might just be the stage you're at in life?

[(Anonymous)]

your interesting too