[ Anon Meme ]

[case]

F!S Anon Meme (the Seventh, and now on DW!)

Secrets, rants, opinions, anything you want to say about your fandom or a fandom or fandom in general, do it here! Anonymously, of course. Get it all off your chest.

Some ground rules:
1. Going anon is encouraged but not absolutely required (for those who struggle with captchas and stuff).
2. No autoplaying/autolooping embeds, or embeds that cover/stretch the screen.
3. No dropping personal info or IRL contact info, etc.

That's about it, though!

I'll be linking some general/general-fandom threads I see so people don't repost new threads with the same stuff.

Unpopular Ships
Obligatory Masturbation Thread
Fandoms you wish existed
How old are you?
What series have you always meant to watch/read/play/etc. but have never?
Time and location
Female-centric works
How do you feel about Tumblr?
Pet thread
Guilty pleasure thread
Favorite old shows
First fandom?

Comments

My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

I honestly think a lot of the reason there's so much backlash against the idea of demisexuality is because people don't take the time to listen to each other when they talk about it. So I'm going to share my take on things, and I invite others to read it and do the same.

I think what a lot of people don't understand is that people like me don't call ourselves demisexual because we want to feel ~special or ~unique. We do it because we want to feel normal. It makes us feel better to know that there are other people like us and that we aren't some kind of freaks stuck halfway between asexuality and sexuality. Every time demisexual wank comes up, there are always people saying that it doesn't need a specific word, because it's just the sexuality that women are supposed to have anyway. I'd argue that this isn't the case, because if it were, we wouldn't have the sense of alienation that causes us to seek alternate labels in the first place. (Also, there are in fact demisexuals who aren't women. Just saying.)

And yes, maybe "demisexual" isn't the best word for it. But it is the one that's come into popular use, and people are probably going to keep using it unless the asexual community decides to put its heads together and come up with a new one. For the time being, that's what we're stuck with, so you shouldn't disregard the idea just because the label is silly.

Finally, just like heterosexuality, homosexuality, and every other sexuality label, demisexuality has everything to do with who you're sexually attracted to and nothing to do with who you actually have sex with. I'm not sure why this seems to keep escaping people, but there you go.

Re: My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

Except the others concern the sex/gender of the people you're attracted to. Hetero=opposite, homo=same, bi=two, pan=all, a=none. "Demi" is not a sex or gender. If anything, it's a subcategory of one of the others, but it's not an actual orientation in and of itself.

Re: My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

Just to add, that's not to say it can't be useful as a label, but it's not really the same as hetero-/homo-/bi-/pan-/asexual.

Re: My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't disagree; personally, I think it might be better to classify it is a subset of asexuality. But like I said, we're not getting another word for it anytime soon.

Re: My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not sure that makes sense, either, since "a" means none/no/without. I would think it would make more sense as a subcategory of straight/bi/gay/pan depending on what sex/gender they were attracted to when they were attracted to someone.

Re: My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

That's also a possibility, although given the potential infrequency of a demisexual's sexual attraction, it might be difficult to determine which they fall into.

Re: My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

why not just say "I only feel sexual attraction to a person I'm already in love with but nobody else, not even if I try; yeah, I don't know why either"

it's not conveniently short, but the accusations of snowflakery and such would go down a lot by giving THAT definition

Re: My thoughts.

[(Anonymous)]

That is an option, but my problem with that is it makes it sound like some kind of unique personal problem, which is what I've been trying not to view it as in the first place. You're right, though; I bet people would be more open to talking about it if we didn't use the word.