[ SECRET POST #2035 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2035 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Anon Meme below!

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 110 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[intrigueing]

OMG marry me.

But seriously, Gilgamesh/Enkidu is soooooo lame. Gilgamesh/Ishtar FTW. She was just a poor misunderstood woobie dontchasee? She only tried to commit mass murder because Gilgamesh was so mean and didn't love her! And she didn't actually go through with her massive zombie army plan either! She's so sweet for that!

...I'm sorry, my brain went to a weird place there...

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[serenitysquid]

OH MY GAWD, HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY OTP?! ISHTAR IS A STUPID BUTTHEAD WHO TRIED TO STEAL GILGAMESH FROM ENKIDU! THEIR LOVE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING EVER AND ANYONE WHO DISAGREES HAS ROTTEN EGGS FOR BRAINS!

...on second thought, maybe I should be glad I haven't found a fandom for this yet.

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[intrigueing]

You are obviously a misogynistic douchebag for blaming Ishtar, but I gotta say that if you take crossovers into account, my true OTP is Gilgamesh/Beowulf! \o/

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[serenitysquid]

But what about Beowulf and Unferth? I'm convinced that Unferth was only acting bitchy about that swimming contest so no one would notice how much he loved Beowulf. It's totally canon!

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[intrigueing]

Ugh, do I have to explain this again? Just because you can fanwank a justification that isn't explicitly contradicted by the text, doesn't mean it's "canon"! You just have your shipping goggles on super-tight because you're projecting your own issues onto these characters!

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[serenitysquid]

I can't think of an intelligent counter-argument, so instead of admitting defeat I'm going to childishly resort to ad hominem: You must be a butthurt Beowulf/Hrothgar shipper! My pairing is better than yours, therefore you are wrong!

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[intrigueing]

I uh....damn I can't even think of a good counter-ad hominem, so I'm going to resort to Godwin's Law and officially plunge this debate into irrelevance: if you don't ship Beowulf/Hrothgar, you must be a Nazi, because Hitler would have totally disagreed with the advice Hrothgar gave Beowulf!

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[(Anonymous)]

Solution: time-travelling device plunges Hitler right into Gilgamesh's big hairy arms. He's not particularly thrilled by the prospective, but then Beowulf arrives too (heartbroken after Hrothgar decided banging his own whorish mother was far more interesting), and Enkidu has decided today's the day for going commando, which is revealed by a convenient breeze. Gil-kun gets a glimpse of dat ass, and one heroic libido peak afterwards... well, crazy orgy ensues.

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[(Anonymous)]

Gilgamesh/Beowulf/Egil Skallagrimsson/Sir Tristram.
Badass orgy FTW.

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[(Anonymous)]

I thought it was Ereshkigal who had the zombie plan? Or did they both do it?

Also, ERESHKIGAL/NERGAL FIVEEVER. THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE PAIRING AND NOTHING IS BETTER!

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[omorka]

The Romance In Hell FTW!

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[lunabee34]

What about some Humbaba/Gilgamesh/Enkidu hatesex OT3?

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[serenitysquid]

Or even better, Ishtar/Gilgamesh/Enkidu/Shamhat = OT4!

Humbaba can hook up with Urshanabi. Nevermind that they didn't interact in canon; nothing stands in the way of true love.

Re: Is there a fandom for the Epic of Gilgamesh?

[lunabee34]

Who needs canon facetime? They'll be the Lorne/Parrish of the fandom.