[ SECRET POST #2037 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2037 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 067 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Just look at how many instances there are of the Ugly Guy, Hot Wife trope.

Women are less shallow as a whole, it's sad but true.

[(Anonymous)]

It's not that women are less shallow, but that we're socialized and trained to be. We're taught from an early age by society and media that men deserve attractive girlfriends and wives, regardless of what the man looks like or acts like.

As you brought up, look at all the instances of the "ugly guy, hot wife" trope there are. Look at how boys are brought up to think they DESERVE a beautiful woman, while women are taught not to have high standards and are socialized NOT to expect a lot in the looks department. Women are characterized as "picky," "shallow," "b*tches," "ice queens," etc. if they dare to have any kind of standards wrt men, especially if those standards include looks. Women who say they want a man who looks like X are socially punished by their peers.

Men, on the other hand, are, as I mentioned, brought up to believe they deserve a beautiful girlfriend or wife. It's practically considered their birthright. Where women are socially prohibited from having requirements as to the appearance of their future boyfriend or husband, men are encouraged to. Men are not only allowed but encouraged to express that they will only date women who look like supermodels, that their future wife has to look like a movie star, and so on, and they are encouraged to follow through on this. Conventionally attractive men who date women who are not conventionally attractive are often socially punished -- they may be made fun of, called names ("chubby chaser" is popular to use against men who date fat women), ostracized or teased by their peer group, encouraged to dump the woman, and so on. This simply doesn't happen with women.

There's a huge, huge difference in how men and women are socialized wrt who they are encouraged to date and the standards they are encouraged or discouraged from having. For women, even standards like "he won't rape me" or "he won't abuse me" are sometimes derided as being too high or too strict (I've seen it more than once). For men... the sky's the limit.

[spicandspan89.livejournal.com]

A+

[(Anonymous)]

fucking THIS.

makes me think of an article I read a few years ago-- which tells you something about how upset the article made me, that I can actually remember the title to google it years after reading it-- about a woman who encourages other women to stop looking for Mr. Right and settle for Mr. Good Enough. SERIOUSLY. She says that women are ending up cold and alone~ because they're expecting men who are both not assholes AND have jobs. What the fuck.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35224012/ns/today-books/t/forget-mr-right-settle-mr-good-enough/
the saddest part is that there's apparently an entire book filled with such wisdom for women.

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty much.

[(Anonymous)]

i don't know, i think some of it is natural and not societal.

[(Anonymous)]

I think that women are probably a little more willing to date below their own attractiveness level than men are. However, Ugly Guy, Hot Girlfriend doesn't happen all that often in the real world unless the guy in question has enough material wealth to compensate (though Ugly Guy, Hot Wife does frequently result from a formerly attractive man really letting himself go while his wife continues to take care of her appearance).