Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-07-31 07:03 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-07-31 07:03 pm
[ SECRET POST #2037 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2037 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 067 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-01 01:31 am (UTC)(link)Do you know how I know people think I'm ugly?
Because women who look like me are ostracized and discriminated against.
Because women who look like me are trashed online, in magazines, on the television, on the internet. Literally everywhere. (Welcome to the experience of the fat woman.)
Because people outright tell me, "I'm glad I don't look like you" (a supposed "friend" told me that one), "damn you're ugly," "you've got a nice personality, shame about your body," "if you'd only lose weight/wear more makeup/get surgery/etc. people would love you!" (Who said that last one? My mother.)
I don't reek. I take care of myself. I wear cute clothes, sometimes a little makeup, do my hair nicely, I'm not afraid to talk to people, I'm friendly and very polite.
This is a common experience for women. I would imagine you're probably quite conventionally attractive (having "flawed skin" and wearing t-shirts and jeans doesn't make you "ugly" or not conventionally attractive), hence your experiences. Very conventionally attractive women have different experiences from women who aren't conventionally attractive.
And no, men do not in any way have it as bad as women do. Men get a metric fuckton of leeway in what it means to be conventionally attractive. Conventionally attractive men can be fat, they can be thin, they can be muscular, they can be svelte, they can have facial hair, they can be shaved, they can have any kind of hair, they can wear makeup, they can never wear makeup, they can have poor skin, they can have callouses, they can have any skin color, they can have any kind of face shape, etc. etc. They get a fuckton of leeway with regards to personality and attitude, too. Don't you even think of going on about oh the poor mens, because it'll be a lot of lies.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-01 01:48 am (UTC)(link)Sounds about right, yeah. Ugh, don't even get me started on beauty standards for women, especially what is and isn't considered "fat." I could go on forever about how horrible it all is.
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(Anonymous) 2012-08-01 01:47 am (UTC)(link)Thank you so much. *hugs!* I have a beautiful, amazing girlfriend now, but I dealt with this kind of shit for so many years before I realized I was gay, and still deal with a lot of it (especially the lingering feelings of not being good enough, feeling ugly, unwanted, etc.), and it can be incredibly upsetting. Gotta work on chilling out now. Thanks again. <3
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I went through an ugly little phase where I tried to compensate for my sexual orientation behaving and dressing more feminine. Of course now that I'm comfortable in my own skin I get way more compliments, and now usually even from the "right" people.