[ SECRET POST #2037 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2037 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 067 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[velvet_mace]

So, you'd seriously say yes to any guy who asks you, no matter how unattractive and gross he looks? Or do you think other women have that low standards.

[(Anonymous)]

YAA (yet another anon)

No, but I'd probably be put under a lot of pressure to "give him a chance" because I'd "like him if I got to know him."

[velvet_mace]

Well, you do need to be a bit brave and not just say yes to everyone who asks you. Having standards is a good thing. If you don't feel chemistry or attraction to a person, you shouldn't date him. Listen to your gut. No matter how much you get to know the dude, if you aren't attracted to him, you aren't going have a satisfying relationship with him. You may be great friends, but romance needs attraction.

If the guy is pressuring you to "give him a chance" because you'll "like him if you got to know him", he's a creep and bad news. This is classic bad guy behavior and should set up an immediate red flag for you to stay away.

[(Anonymous)]

da

It's not just the guy pressuring women though.

It's society. It's everyone. It's family, friends, the guy's friends.

Women are socialized to feel uncomfortable, guilty, etc. if they say no to a man asking them out. Not everyone is able to just go against hundreds of years of socializing women to not have standards, to not say no to men, etc. For fuck's sake.

[velvet_mace]

Actually, it seems its the other way around. A woman who says yes too easily and dates a bunch of guys is seen as being "loose" and "easy" and looked down on. But it could be different in your country. Do you live in a place with a lot of arranged marriages?

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

I live in the US, you condescending ass. And yeah-- women can't win. Welcome to sexism.

[velvet_mace]

Well then, if you are damned if you do and damned if you don't, you might as well only say yes to the guys you find attractive. For what it's worth, I think you are way overvaluing the guy and his friend's opinions, and way off on your families. Shitty, misogynistic, easily butthurt assholes exist, but you don't have to date them, and most people would be appalled if you did, for God's sake.

If some dude and his friends are calling you a frigid, consider yourself to have dodged a bullet by saying no to the dude.

[(Anonymous)]

that's what you call the good old double standard: a woman says no, she's frigid; she says yes, she's easy.

[(Anonymous)]

anon she was replying to

EXACTLY.