case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-07-31 07:03 pm

[ SECRET POST #2037 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2037 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 067 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - personal attack ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2012-08-01 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
It doesn't help that when a woman doesn't meet certain standards of appearance, some people act downright offended by it.

One of my all-time favorite Savage Love columns was from a few years ago when a young woman wrote in saying she was very unattractive and that men gave her a lot of crap for this. They wouldn't just pass her by or turn her down, they'd actually stop and make an effort to make her feel bad about it. Dan responded that some men are raised to believe women exist for their own pleasure and therefore they will take it as a personal insult when a woman doesn't please them with how she looks, even if she's just some random person on the street.

I read that and thought, "Holy crap, that explains a lot!" I consider myself attractive, but I do sometimes detect that undercurrent of anger (whether directed at myself or another woman) and it can be over something as minor and temporary as having a bad hair day or being unsure how to dress for an event and winding up looking too casual (read: frumpy) compared to everyone else.

Obviously, not all guys are like this, but it happens, and what's worse is that I see women behaving similarly towards other women. Whether that's more likely an issue of needing someone to compare themselves to favorably or simple rejection of anything that doesn't strictly adhere to social expectations, I don't know. Probably a bit of both.

(Anonymous) 2012-08-01 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
i'm actually really bothered by the fact that both genders don't look cuter more of the time. i almost won't date a guy who wears t-shirts and shorts/jeans routinely (i say almost because if he's an amazing person i'm not going to pass him up)