fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2037 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2037 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 067 secrets from Secret Submission Post #291.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I wrote a suicide note once, when I was going through lithium withdrawal right before weaning myself onto a different med (lamictal). My husband found it and got really angry with me, so I never did it again

Is there anyone at all you can talk to? Even if you can't afford/don't have access to a therapist there are suicide hotlines and even surrounding yourself with other people is helpful. I mean I believe you when you say you won't kill yourself because I've been in exactly the same place, what you have is called suicidal ideation though and it can be dangerous so... just, take care of yourself

I don't like to talk about it because nobody will change my mind and all that will happen is people I care about will worry unnecessarily. I think if I talk to them and still kill myself then they'll have all this extra guilt, and I'm going to be upsetting everyone enough as it is if I ever do go through with it.

I have tried a hotline once or twice. Was a waste of time for me. Atm I don't have a phone or car so can't really get anywhere or call anyone anyway.

Thanks for the reply though. And honestly I really do not have concrete plans at the moment. If I ever get a job and money or health insurance I do plan to try and start therapy or medication. I just don't have any of that right now so I make my own little therapies of planning and writing notes. It's weird but it seems to work for now.

If you're suicidal, the emergency room will take you in.

Are you in US? I do not live in the US, but I do recall talking to one person online who was from the states who did not have health insurance previously, but mentioned that there was a safety net for those who are suicidal - she was given forms to fill out in the emergency room, specifically for such a case, so she could get coverage for the meds and treatment she needed.

Please, please go to your emergency room. I know how it is to believe that no one will change your mind - I know that feeling so well. But consider it like this - if you care enough about your parents that you want to minimize their pain, then the best way to do that is to try and see if medication or other professional help will help you.

The only way to get to the ER would be to call an ambulance, which would cost a shit ton of money and would also alert the entire town (small town, volunteer emergency responders). No car, no public transportation where I am and the nearest ER is about an hours drive away.

I really appreciate all the replies and understand where you're all coming from but I honestly wasn't looking for people to persuade me not to commit suicide. I suppose it was kind of a stupid thing to post and think that people would answer logically or straight when it's not a very straight issue and full of turmoil and emotions. I was just in a mood I guess.

Sorry everyone.

You're not in the wrong for bringing this up, and you're not a bother or wrong or anything for asking a question like this.

Maybe someone could drive you, if not directly to the ER, at least drop you off somewhere near (like, say, I want to visit so so shop, could you give me a ride?) and then you go in to the shop, wait for them to leave, and you could walk to the ER yourself so they don't find out. Would one of your neighbors do it? You could tell them/ask them to pick you up in, say, two hours, so they don't wait parked for you, and then if you stay overnight in the ER, you can call them and say that you met a friend or something and you would stay the night with them, or something, so don't pick me up anymore, but thank you so much for driving me here, etc. etc.

Still, try keeping people close to you. That's what I did and it helps. I'm lucky to have a SO who cares about me but if you're worried about what your parents would think, maybe you can stay with one of them? IDK, whenever I would feel really dark I'd have someone, a friend, my sister, my husband, someone stay with me so I could talk to them and a) keep my mind off how I was feeling, b) make sure someone would be there to watch me in case I tried to harm myself, so they could stop me.

And yeah, there's always the emergency room. Even if you do get billed for it they'll let you pay in installments and there's no interest, and it sure beats being dead. Though it's not pleasant (I ended up in the ER not that long ago)

[ SECRET POST #2037 ]

Re: question dealing with topic of suicide

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Re: question dealing with topic of suicide