fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2044 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2044 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02.

[Yamato nadeshiko Shichi Henge/Perfect Girl Evolution]

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03.

[Suits]

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04.

[A Song of Ice and Fire]

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05.

[Yamato nadeshiko Shichi Henge]

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06.

[Sherlock BBC]

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07.

[Homestuck]

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08.

[Sherlock]

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[Stargate Atlantis]

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[Cyborg 009]

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11.

[The Amazing Spiderman]

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[Stargate Universe]

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13.

[Avatar: the Last Airbender]

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14.

[Bunheads/Game of Thrones]

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15.

[thesyndicateproject (youtube)]

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16.

[Codex Alera]

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[Wishbone]

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18.

[The Game OverThinker]

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19.

[K-ON!]

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20.

[Magical Diary]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 063 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

We had a discussion, and he brought up my Ex, yet again (After promising not to...) The game he has banned me from playing with him (The game I only started playing with him because he wanted so badly for us to do something he liked together...) because four months ago he refused to play with a mutual friend (who then became my Ex, anyway...) for jealousy reasons. I found this to be the last straw in his behavior and told him I didn't want to play anymore, if he was really going to act like this. He took that to mean I was 'choosing our friend over him'.

He said he quit wanting to play the game with me because I 'lied' about playing the game just for 'him'. I hate this thought process, since when we originally dated as teenagers (18/19) he was only dating me in secret in hopes he could get back with his ex. In fact I was one of many women he had, some of which he still talks to. But he swears up and down he's changed. He didn't ask me out until a few years later, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. But he refuses to do that for me...when all I did was date someone after he broke up with me. Eh. /complaining, sorry :/

I broke it off with him, but I don't know how long it will be before he realizes I'm not coming back/tries to contact me again. He usually tells me how he has no future without me/how I've "ruined" other women for him because he "loves me that much"/How he will stay single if I don't come back. Usually these things make me feel guilty, and I forgive him, with an understanding he won't do it again. I know it's stupid, and he'll probably never change now that he's basically twenty six, but...I'll try to ignore him for a long while.

Thank you all for your words/support :) <3

Pfft, he's not going to die if he stays single. I'm 24, I'm single, and I've come to realize that that's what's best for me, for a while. Being single might be best for him, too.

Good luck, OP! Don't let him make you feel guilty over this.

I think he looks forward to our 'future' together too much. He's twenty six, has never had a job, and still lives with his mother. He has tried to get jobs...but if he's not taking care of his brothers/sister/cousin, he's spending most of his time online playing wow and whatnot. And I guess that also makes me feel guilty, because if I'm all he has....yeah. I know it's terrible of me to encourage it by staying with him.

I'm going to try and make a clean break from him.

And thank you :)

The sudden independance might be good for him and force himself to look after himself. It's not appropriate for him to lean on and depend on others to finance his life style - while being so horrible to you in the process :[

Glad you're getting out of it OP. It's heartening to hear you are getting out of an unsafe situation

*hugs* I'm glad for you, OP.

Overdramatic douches that threaten to end their lives because they have nothing to life for unless it's *you* are the worst kind of person to return to. Don't feel guilty, it's all in his head. It's not your fault that he has such a warped reasoning, it's entirely his problem. He'll surely move on. Even if he doesn't, it's not your fault.
Also, don't apologise for complaining; if it bothered us, nobody would've replied. Again, you're your own boss, you can do whatever you want.
And, as everyody above me has pointed out, it's not love. He loves you as he'd love a thing he has ownership of. He wouldn't want to lose you, and he's willing to do some serious manipulation to get what he wants. That's not romantic, it's disturbing and dangerous.

I'm glad you broke it off with him, OP. Don't let guilt start to seep in. He's an adult and needs to be able to function on his own. The "I'll never love again" thing is BS and even if he never does, that's not your problem. His happiness is not your responsibility, especially if it means sacrificing your own happiness.

His happiness is not your responsibility, especially if it means sacrificing your own happiness

This. So fucking much.

he's a grade A shitbag and i hope he falls down a fast-moving up escalator. good on you for ditching his ass.

congrats, OP! The more you've said about it, the more it sounds like you're dodging a bullet here. Don't feel guilty - you know damn well that he won't feel guilty about anything he did to hurt you. <3

Yeah, don't ever let him make you feel guilty again. Let me reiterate that none of his issues are your fault and you don't have to put up with his shit no matter what he says, ok? Stay strong, I wish you the best!

A thought: if he threatens suicide again, don't go back - send the police to his door for a wellness check. They won't take his bullshit for a second. Be strong, good luck.

Loads of support from me too OP. Breaking it off with him looks the right choice, he's clearly not the best for you. D: Ignore the guilt he's laying on you, you have a right to happiness, comfort and safety and I don't think you're going to get it with him.

He needs to move on. I hope you're not stuck living with him or forced into constant contact with him (uni? live near each other?)

Good luck with your ignoring and moving on! It's heartening to hear you've got it in hand and can help yourself. I hope your IRL friends are helpful and supportive too c:

Good on you, anon! Don't go back. Whether or not he ever loves again is completely not your problem. From the sound of things it's best that he stay single anyway. Try to make a completely clean break--unless he threatens suicide or violence etc against you, just don't respond. Block his number, delete emails, maintain radio silence. If he does make threats, tell authorities, don't respond to him directly. Responding to him will only encourage him to keep bothering you. /advice

[ SECRET POST #2044 ]

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