case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-08-09 06:59 pm

[ SECRET POST #2046 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2046 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #292.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - spam secret ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 12:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Same, the thread above me is creepy and scary. I had just assumed people ignored the creepy for sake of the story.

I didn't realised so many people enjoyed the unwilling sexualisation of a 13 year old girl...

(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, at what point did anyone go "yay, sexy 13 year olds *fap fap fap*"?

Aside from a few outbursts most of the discussion was pretty mature, I feel. Honestly, I didn't know very much about the series or the author, I'm just tired of people constantly shaming young female sexuality. Reading the above passage, it's clear that this guy is just being creepy and exploitative, which is shame because it'd be nice to have some positive, healthy representation of young female sexuality; this clearly isn't one. I just want to make it clear that I was defending teen sexuality, not this guy's shitty portrayal of it.

Lower in the thread that teenage-anon got very emotional, but I think that was because it was a sensitive issue for her; even then aside from a few crazy anons telling trying to convince her she's been raped, her dialogue with other users was pretty mature and calm.

(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 07:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Just speaking from curiosity, what point are you defending teenage sexuality? Because as I see it, teenagers are sexualized way too often in media and expected to be so in real life. Is it just the shaming that comes along with it if the teenagers actually are sexually active?

(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, more or less, specifically teenager girls, because there's a big double-standard.
An um, I don't know what culture/where you live, but where I am it's the exact opposite. Where I am sex is a very, very bad thing. Especially if you're a teenager, the attitude here is basically "sex is evil, masturbation is evil". Where I am abstinence-only education is taught (and a lot of the time, there is no sex ed, because people are so disgusted and uncomfortable with sex itself). Teenagers are expected to NEVER have sex, or even masturbate (boys get a bit of leeway, but more about that below).

Even then, there is a huge double standard between genders. Teenage boys can get away with being sexual and nobody ever makes a big of deal of it. This is because, while the culture is overall anti-sex, male sexuality is lot more liberated; male sexual desire is very much acknowledged and seen as need.
On the other hand, female sexuality is non-existent. The common belief here is that woman have no sexual desire or even the ability to have an orgasm. There's also this huge obsession with virginity, which is I find rather creepy. Teenage girls, depending on their sexuality, are either adored by the community, or despised by it. Girls who are chaste and virginal, and put on this huge pedestal; the more sexless and 'pure' you are, the more praise and adoration you'll receive. Girls who have sex, or even masturbate, are seen as dirty or 'damaged goods'; they are shamed, and called sluts and whores.

Does that give you some insight into my perspective?

(Anonymous) 2012-08-10 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow, yikes yes I definitely see your perspective. Where I live, it's rather the opposite. I mean of course there are the very small sector at school that are extremely religious and adhere to all that abstinence only stuff. But most often while I was growing up I got bullied because I didn't have a boyfriend or didn't flirt and whatnot. Not that I think doing that stuff is bad at all, just wasn't for me. I mean, in 8th grade(uhh.. about age 13?) a few of my friends were talking about having sex with their boyfriends and they all came to unanimous decision that having anal is so much better because they don't have to worry about getting pregnant.

But there is so much wrong with THAT mindset(doing anal sex to avoid responsibility) thinking that I can't even begin to go into it. I think sexual education all over is completely fucked up and expectations and the view on sex really needs a change altogether. The more open people are with teaching their children about sex properly, the less we will have of these incorrect assumptions and horrible sitgmas for sexual activity.

(Anonymous) 2012-08-11 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
I sorry you had to deal with that growing up, anon.

The key is balance really, if we could just have healthy, moderate attitudes toward sex (rather than flipping between two unhealthy extremes) I feel a lot these issues could be alleviated.
And I agree wholeheartedly about about proper sex education; it's something I fight for frequently.