[ SECRET POST #2050 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2050 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 114 secrets from Secret Submission Post #293.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think this is one of those things that will be different for everyone. Outside of this comm the most common definition I've come across (at least among all the people I personally know IRL) is that romance is friendship + physical attraction, but I don't agree.

I think it's possible to have romance without physical attraction (assuming in this case that physical attraction = sexual attraction, not just thinking they're aesthetically pleasing to look at or something) and friendship *with* sexual attraction (like friends with benefits type situations for example) but as for how to tell the difference between them, like someone else said, I'm inclined to say a relationship is platonic if it feels platonic to you and it's romantic if it feels romantic to you. I know that's probably a cop out answer, but it's one of those things that's so individual it's pretty much impossible to define it for another person.

I guess a general rule would maybe be that a platonic friend would be someone you enjoy spending time with, but someone you're romantically interested in would be more of that warm & fuzzy/randomly find yourself daydreaming about them/making plans for your (shared) future kind of thing. It's not necessarily that clear cut, though. I think it's a spectrum more than a binary and sometimes people will have relationships that are somewhere between romantic and platonic, not solely either.

As for whether the most important person in your life can be someone you're not attracted to (there are all different types of attraction, but I'm guessing here you mean sexual attraction?), absolutely! One of the most important relationships I've ever had was with my former best friend, and when that relationship ended I was more upset than some people I know who've gone through divorces. We've gotten back in touch again (well, at least we're speaking again) but I haven't talked to her in several months and I know things will never be like they were, which makes me incredibly sad. I know for me at least, the purely romantic relationships I've had haven't been nearly as important to me as the platonic ones (or the ones that were somewhere in between platonic and romantic), and right now the most important people in my life are definitely my family.

I know it's definitely a complicated issue, and I just now (and I'm 11 years older than you) feel like I have a handle on my own philosophy on relationships/friendship/romance and how I feel about these things and apply them to my own life. For me a big part of it was realizing that just because people I know see things a certain way doesn't necessarily mean I have to look at them the same way.

I know it's hard to understand right now, but read those essays (would you mean linking them, btw? they sound interesting to me!) because even if they're about something fictional, the ideas behind them are still based on a real concept, read other people's thoughts/opinions, and I think eventually you'll figure out your own philosophy and where you personally stand on these various issues, and it won't be quite so confusing.