fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2051 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2051 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[To Boldly Flee]

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03.

[Teen Wolf, Supernatural]

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04.

[Community]

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05.

[Gravity Falls]

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06.

[Farscape]

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07.

[Earth 2]

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08.

[Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji]

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09.

[Pokemon]

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10.

[Super Mario Galaxy, Suikoden Tierkreis, Pokemon, 999, Redline, Code Geass and Macross Frontier]

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11.

[Venus Ni Seppun]

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12.

[Brokeback Mountain]

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13.

[A Song of Ice and Fire]

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14.

[Tatta Hitotsu No Koi]

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15.

[Xena: Warrior Princess]

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16.

[Tom Hiddleston]

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17.

[Figure It Out - Matt Bennett]

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18.

[Dragon Age 2]

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19.

[Teen Wolf]

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20.

[Law & Order: SVU]

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21.

[Benedict Cumberbatch/The Hobbit]

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22.

[Florence Welch/Florence + The Machine]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 088 secrets from Secret Submission Post #293.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So when do you think a person mostly becomes an adult? Or at least stops being wholly a kid? (On average, since maturity levels are diff for everyone, I guess.)

For example, even though I was paying for my own food and rent at 20, I didn't feel totally grown up, even though those were "adult" responsibilities.

Bonus fact-- many cultures didn't think adulthood started until about the third decade of life. The Romans, for example, counted life stages in increments of 7 years. They viewed the ages from about 15 to 28 (or 30) as adolescence, a period of growing.

What say you?

I think it's somewhat of a social construct, mingled with a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Cultures that expect individuals to being handling "adult" responsibilities at young ages produce men and women who are mature in their teens. Western culture expects individuals to being handling "adult" responsibilities at some point in their 20s, after their education has been completed and they've achieved gainful employment, and so it produces men and women who are not mature until their mid or late 20s (this is, of course, in aggregate and on average. There are people who mature sooner and people who mature later).

I don't think there is a true "adolescence," but I think it's telling that the concept exists in advance civilizations, and that it tends to extend into a person's 20s. As a corollary, I also don't think there's a true "adulthood," apart from the moment past which one is expected to handle the business of surviving on one's own.

I've felt somewhat like you. I've lived on my own for five years. I'm married. I have a full-time job, and I have supervisory responsibilities. Yet, somehow, I still don't feel like I'm an "adult." I think this might be normal.

I think you're grown up at 20, maybe even if you're not paying for rent and groceries (though that would help?). Maybe you're not very skilled at being an adult when you're 20, but you're still doing it.

I don't think it has anything to do with maturity, or skill, because if you need to stop making mistakes to be an adult I'm never going to be one. And I want my "period of growing" to be my whole life!

My mother always says that the only time in her life that she has ever felt like an adult was immediately after giving birth. And she's really not immature or childlike or anything; it's actually like she's one of the most mature people I know.

Considering that your actions are usually indicative of your maturity (ie, you start being responsible for yourself and others), I just assume that most if not all adults out there are simply pretending to be adults by doing what adults do, and there's no real difference between adolescence and adulthood. Everyone is just faking being a grown-up. I know I am.

It doesn't exist :P No, seriously. Once we get out of high school, we realise all the adults and teachers we look(ed) up to have no idea what the fuck they're doing. Of course, that's not to say they weren't good role models, just that they didn't have all the answers.

NA

+1

I think this was the hardest realization for me - that no my parents - and most other adults - don't actually know EVERYTHING. I still haven't quite gotten over that which is ridiculous but there it is. Of course a lot of that is mixed up in feeling like I did everything I was "supposed to do" and it feels like it was all a mistake.

Whatever - I'm in my own apartment now with a decent job where I have time to figure out exactly what I should be doing instead of doing what so called "adults" think I should be doing.

Hard to say.

However, one way to tell is to ask a person whether or not they consider themselves an adult. Usually a more mature person would acknowledge that they aren't done growing, while a less mature person would eagerly claim maturity.

This just reminds me of a friend I had (when we were both 18) I was accepting that I wasn't an adult for several reasons (hadn't finished school, no taxes etc etc) while my friend claimed she was a full adult ...because she had a boyfriend.

I think people's opinions just differ too much to really tell.

Personally, I believe that adulthood is marked by being more or less capable of taking care of yourself (with allowances made for disabilities and a down economy). So it's not really about age, except to the extent that it may be hard (or illegal) to gain some of these skills and responsibilities before a certain age.

This doesn't mean that you have to actually BE 100% independent all the time - it's okay to have a roommate with whom you share expenses or even to live with your parents, and it's also okay to have someone in your household who does certain things for you or to pay someone to do something for you - but you should at least have the capability of doing things like holding down a paying job, managing your money, finding a place to live, feeding yourself, keeping your clothes and living area clean, and staying on top of whatever responsibilities might be applicable to your life, such as child care, keeping your car in running order, not flaking out on school, etc.

Of course, a lot of people tend to reach for things like marriage or long-term partnership, children, and owning a house as hallmarks of adulthood, which explains why at 32 I still meet people who insist on treating me like an immature child even though they will willingly admit to not knowing how to cook, do laundry, maintain a budget, do their own tax returns, deal with car problems, or travel long-distance on their own. I figure they're insecure and desperate for someone to look down on, so that's okay.

which explains why at 32 I still meet people who insist on treating me like an immature child even though they will willingly admit to not knowing how to cook, do laundry, maintain a budget, do their own tax returns, deal with car problems, or travel long-distance on their own. I figure they're insecure and desperate for someone to look down on, so that's okay.

That is very sad, and you're right.

[ SECRET POST #2051 ]

Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?

Re: Adulthood?