fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2055 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2055 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 137 secrets from Secret Submission Post #294.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

but I like Sansa and the way she behaves (in the show; I've not read the books) for this reason: I grew up in a house with my schizophrenic grandfather and father (who was also alcoholic) and their codependent wives; both of them were vicious and completely unpredictable. One minute they'd seem fine and the next they would fly off the handle, throw dishes, smash their fist into the person closest to them, etc. It was fucking terrifying, and everyone was always holding their breath, afraid of what might happen next. My brothers and I learned to be timid and quiet and always respond sweetly to my father and grandfather, because if we didn't we might spend the next 8 hours having a loaded gun waved at us or our mother while he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Sansa learned fast, and was in a much more dire situation than we ever were. It took me YEARS to learn to just shut my mouth and smile at my father. Sometimes I still can't manage it. I think she's quite smart, actually. Not brave, especially, but then most people aren't. But she's smart enough to stay alive, and that's something.

Oh, anon. :( I hope you're away from those people now.

Yeah, I think that is a realistic survival reaction. I can see why people would find it boring in a tv show, but I like those sorts of details when you stop to think and go "wait, it does make sense".

Yes, you are projecting. I grew up in an abusive environment and I was still able to come up with a way to resist without putting myself in danger. Which is not to say that one of us is somehow better than the other, people react in different ways, but your experience isn't everyone's experience.

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and since your experience is also not everyone's experience, it's entirely possible that Sansa's was more similar to the first anon's than yours...
Also, "coming up with a way to resist putting yourself in danger" sounds... kinda like what Sansa and the above anon are/were doing. So. You kinda sound judgmental.

..But that doesn't mean that Anon or Sansa are somehow weak or that their response was incorrect. I grew up in an abusive environment as well, and I spent basically my entire childhood from ages 8-14 saying so little that my stepbrother, who I lived with for 5+ years, did not hear me speak to him directly until I was 14. I actively avoided saying anything even remotely inflammatory (though the abuse was rarely instigated by anything logical anyway), and to this day I oscillate in the extreme between either completely shutting down internally and psychologically when asked about myself, or being so aggressively rebellious against the way I was conditioned as a child that I will BEAT people verbally with my opinion instead of just offering it. I'm glad that you found a way to rebel and survive with your sense of self intact, but other people in similar situations do not respond the same way that you do, and it does not mean that we are weak, or that the way you did it was the right way and the way we did it was the wrong or cowardly way. I don't think Anon is trying to say that his/her experience was everybody's experience: just trying to provide a possible explanation for Sansa's reaction. Which was just as valid as yours, and mine.

I'm really sorry, Anon. I can most definitely empathize with you and I can definitely see how you formed that opinion about Sansa.

[ SECRET POST #2055 ]

I might be projecting...

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