Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-08-29 06:26 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-08-29 06:26 pm
[ SECRET POST #2066 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2066 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 037 secrets from Secret Submission Post #295.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: ADHD testing
The initial test (when I was six) was some computer concentration thing. Frankly, my strongest memory of that was of peeling the fake wood laminate off the psychiatrist's desk, and then feeling bad for destroying things. It was super boring.
More recently it was a test to see where I was academically, and where my weaknesses were. That one it was treated as pre-determined that I had ADHD. That wound up being about four or six hours of testing over two days, and covered math, concentration, learning speed, spatial awareness, writing ability, short and long term memory, etc. I found this test surprisingly stressful and upsetting, because it was aimed at rooting out my weakness (I've spent a lot of time and effort making certain that my weakness NEVER COME UP in my everyday life. It was upsetting to have them focused on).
So no. What you're describing isn't what I experienced. I do know that usually there's questioning of whoever is closest to you (they talked to my mom and my best friend, the most recent time) and teacher's observations/notes (from when I was six).
What they're probably looking for is long-standing problems--like from childhood onward. Are you describing the problem as having "started recently"? Because they might be misreading that as "I never had problems until I was older", which obviously would make them think that it isn't ADHD.
If you have another appointment with them, I'd advise you to not downplay the issue. I know that you've probably spent most of your life playing an elaborate shell game to distract people from your problems, but you need to tell the psychiatrist the truth. Admittedly I'm guessing here, but it's not: "I'm having trouble dealing NOW", right? It's more like "I've spent my entire life failing to live up to my own expectations in small, subtle ways, but now that I'm an adult, it's a million times worse. I'm drowning". I mean, I could be wrong, but that was my experience. If it's ADHD, you've had it since birth. Don't be afraid to admit that this is a long term problem.
If your psychiatrist refusing to diagnose you...well, if it comes out that they simply won't, then (beyond a second opinion):
1) Have you researched ADHD? There aren't many good online resources (that I know of), but if you have access to a public library or you can get to a book store and skim, there are a lot of books that I've found really helpful. Many of them are aimed at coping mechanisms to help you handle everyday life--that stuff is at least as helpful as medication.
2) Anxiety makes ADHD into a raging storm of disorganized hell and depression. You can have both problems, and it can make your life a million times harder than just ADHD, or just anxiety. The two come packaged together a lot, too. You might want to consider what the psychiatrist is saying, and see if any of it is helpful.
3) Coffee is a decent substitute (not fabulous, but it works well enough when you desperately need to do something that you can't concentrate enough to start) for ADHD medication.
4) Seek out structure. Schedules, timetables, mandatory attendance, deadlines--I know, I know, they're terrifying, but they are where you're most likely to thrive. Pressure is your friend, so long as it isn't crushing.
5) Success follows success. Make a deal with yourself to just START something (write 100 words, or wash one plate, or clean the counter, or walk around the block--small stuff). Chances are that once you've started it, you'll continue.
If you want to ask questions about...whatever, really, feel free to PM me.