fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2071 ]

[ SECRET POST #2071 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2071 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Okay, I've got a bunch of questions. Some are for a specific country, but most are for any country really.

1. Why do people wear shoes when they are INSIDE their own houses? And when visiting others as well. WHY!? Even if you change to 'inside shoes', WHYYY D: ??

2. In the US, why is Prom such a big deal?

3. Why do people call their teachers not by their first names and instead Mr or Mrs? Why does it seem like calling people by their first name is too personal in general unless you know them?

4. What does the UK have against using the original book-covers for books? When I went to London some time ago and went into a bookstore, A LOT of books had different covers than the original. That made me a sad panda, because I won't buy a book unless I like the cover, and I usually prefer the original cover.

1. This. WHYYYYYY. I always twitch when I see someone wearing their shoes inside on TV. Slippers are fuzzy and soft. I never feel completely at ease at home if I keep my shoes on. And when I'm a guest, I usually take them off.

1. Where I live, it's actually seen as pretty rude to take them off when visiting because it's too...intimate I guess? Like you're settling in or something. Though most people don't wear them inside all the time unless they have foot problems/cold floor/going someplace else soon.

2. idk actually, I really liked prom because I could get dressed all fancy and have a huge party with classmates before we graduated and probably wouldn't see each other in person again. I'm sure others have different reasons though~

3. In my experience teachers often encouraged that, so the students would feel more at ease coming to them with problems or make the class more comfortable. Though that was pretty rare, usually it'd be Ms First Name, or Dr. First Initial.

1) Because they don't want their feet to get hurt and don't have carpets? I don't know, I grew up taking my shoes off and I mostly wear slippers these days.

2) Partly a creation of the media - the received idea that Prom is important and that Prom is supposed to be a Major Life Event tends to actually create importance for it. Partly because it's high school and EVERYTHING feels like it's of apocalyptic importance, especially something of so much social importance, something that serves as a social barometer the way that prom does.

3) I don't know, I think it's a question of respect. Teachers are, in some respect, superiors / elders and it's right and proper to address them differently than you'd address a casual acquaintance or family member. At least it seems that way to me. We don't always talk the same way to all different people, context is important.

4) I don't rightly know why this is. But I'm not sure if that's specifically a UK thing.

3. I live in Aus, but where I'm from (Sydney) kids generally call teachers Miss or Sir. It varies from school to school, though- Mr or Ms [Surname] is fine too. I really think it's just seen as more polite. As for first names generally, esp. for uni lecturers, they're not so uptight about that here as they are in other parts of the world..

1) It depends on the type of flooring/cleanliness of the house/owner's preference. While you'd probably never wear shoes on a carpet, other types of flooring can be cold and uncomfortable on socked feet, and slippers aren't as common here.

2) Because it ostensibly marks the end of an era, and the beginning of adulthood. Not everyone goes to college, so it's the end of mandatory schooling; 18 is the age of majority in a lot of places with prom, so it's the end of childhood; finally, a lot of people move away to attend college and never come back, so it's marks the departure from the family home as well. I'm surprised that people find it surprising that it's a "big deal", honestly.

3) It's an indication of respect for the position they hold.

1. It's sort of a politeness thing, in the US, at least. To walk in and just take off your shoes seems presumptuous, like, "Oh, let me just make myself at home and throw my stuff around." It's considered courteous to wait for a cue from the host or to ask. Also, tracking dirt in from your shoes isn't a big deal because usually the entranceway/first floor is either tile or wood and easily cleaned.

2. Because we love parties! Actually, I have no idea. Something about the ending of high school, achieving maturity, wanting to throw a big dance/get dressed up/rent a fancy car for something other than your own wedding - I also think TV shows and movies about high school really amped up the importance of prom until reality began to reflect the media portrayals.

3. I think it's to differentiate between adults and children and build an atmosphere of respect.

4. because I won't buy a book unless I like the cover Why?

1. I was raised with shoes on my feet more than not. Most times I just forget to take them off. I get to it eventually but it's not an automatic response from me in my own home. (Unless it's been a really rough day or my shoes are very dirty.) If I'm in someone else's home I will ask if I should take them off because I have a lot of Asian friends and I learned their customs about shoes were very different from mine very quickly.

2. Prom is the only school dance I went to. I almost feel it's important because we make it important. But really it's because, in my opinion, we look at it as our graduation dance. We are celebrating our graduation, our moving on into adulthood, and maybe even leaving our childhood friends behind. We're saying goodbye to a huge part of our lives with a party.

3. Mr. or Ms. is sign of respect or non-familiarity. It's similar to honorifics in Japanese. They add -san or -sensei to the end of names. We add Mr. or Ms. to the front. Moving from last name to first name shows increased familiarity or laid back atmosphere around a person. You may call a teacher by their first name only by their discretion. To do otherwise is very disrespectful. Some teachers will want you to call them by their first name to breed an easy atmosphere and power balance. Because that is another thing. By teachers being called Mr. or Ms. and students being called by first name you are creating a power imbalance in the teacher's favor. You are giving power over to them and their classroom. This is considered normal in a healthy learning environment in the US as long as it doesn't go to extremes.

Also, I noticed you used Mrs. That form of address for women is slowly being used less and less. This is because Miss used to refer to unmarried women and Mrs. to married women. Some women felt that such a language device put their worth in their marital status and were unhappy about this. Men did not have to change Mr. in any way if they got married. It seemed unfair. Therefore Ms. was created. It is a neutral term for all women. In general it is polite to refer to a woman as Ms. unless they tell you otherwise.

Mr. and Ms. can be used for anyone a person does not know, even non-teachers. However, teachers are the ones most commonly referred to by them. I might also add that children are far more likely to call someone Mr. of Ms. due to them showing respect to their elders/adults.

The power imbalances and respect mentioned earlier also bleeds into the workplace with Mr. and Ms. Normally your boss will be referred to with these unless they tell you that you can use their first name. This depends on your boss and their style of running things, much like teachers.

Edited 2012-09-03 23:12 (UTC)

2) It used to be the case in the '50s and '60s that high schools held a number of formal or semi-formal dances over the course of the school year. Senior Promenade (later shortened to Prom) was the most important because it was the last one the students would go to as high school students; it was the final hurrah of high school social life before everyone either settled into manufacturing jobs, marriage, and children, when there would be few chances for formal dancing, or went off to college, where they'd be dancing with a completely different group of people far from home.

Now many (not all; some still have a full dance schedule, but in my experience this is no longer common) US high schools just have two or three dances a year - homecoming, senior prom, and sometimes either a Spring Fling or a junior prom - and some of them don't even do homecoming, so the primary importance of prom is that it's the only chance the students really have to dress way up in front of their peers. It retains most of its emotional and social resonance from its end-of-an-era significance from previous decades, as preserved in various nostalgic media, especially movies.

3) In the US, at least, calling someone by their first name implies that you are either peers or they are in your employ; the banker gets to call his driver "Richard" but the driver has to call him "Mr. Nixon." Calling your teacher by their first name is a way of stating "You're not the boss of me; I don't have to respect you." Occasionally a student will do it to me precisely as a sign of disrespect, a way of forced-peering me.

1) Cold feet, at least where I live you get seriously cold feet when the people in the flat under ours aren't there.

2) Sign of respect, I mean they're not my friends, I don't know them on a personal level they're my teachers, period.

1. In my own house, it's a mental thing. I'm not properly dressed/ready to face the world if I don't have shoes on. For some reason it just makes it so much harder to get things done if I don't have shoes on. In other people's houses, well, it depends. The default is to leave shoes on (in Australia, as per my experience), because to take them off is kind of a sign of disrespect? Maybe that's a bit extreme, but I always feel rude just to take my shoes off in someone else's house. For me its the same thing as grabbing a drink or something without asking. Of course, if you know the person well, those rules don't apply at all. Generally its just polite to wait for the host to say something.

4. That's not a UK specific thing. Generally books have different publishers in different countries, and since the publishers are in charge of choosing a cover, the cover will tend to change.

Edited 2012-09-03 23:41 (UTC)

4. I had wondered about that. I'm pretty sure the US does this a lot too. I first noticed this years ago when I saw we had changed the Harry Potter covers.

1. This depends on where you are. If you live in Hawaii or any place that has a high Asian population in the US, not taking off your shoes is seen as a rude gesture. (I picked up this habit when I lived in Hawaii as a kid. And now as soon as I go into a house, off come the shoes.) HOWEVER, in other parts of the US, taking off your shoes is seen as a rude gesture because you are implying that the host's place is your own to do what you please. As in, "What are you going do next now that you've taken off your shoes? Kick back and place your feet on my expensive coffee table. Shall I pop open a beer, while you are here?"

2. In general, yes, it is. It's like one of those silly teenage rites of passage. (Though I didn't go to mine.)

3. It's considered rude in the US to call a teacher by his or her first name. It's generally rude to call someone who is a person of authority and/or a few decades older than you by their first name. The exception being is you know them on a personal level.

3. Unless you go to Quaker school where calling teachers by their first names is fairly standard because Quakers traditionally don't use titles.

1) I HAVE NO IDEA. I never wear my shoes inside unless I'm literally about to step out the door or literally just stepped inside. Taking my shoes off is pretty much the first thing I do when I get home. That said, when visiting someone else's home, I generally don't take my shoes off unless a) they ask/have a pile of shoes at the doorway/are Japanese(yes this is relevant to my life)/otherwise indicate they'd like me to remove my shoes, or b) if I'm really familiar with the person and their home and I'm there for a fairly private, casual event. In my experience, taking off your shoes in someone else's home indicates a certain level of familiarity, a kind of implication that you're closer to being family than a guest. I take off my shoes in houses where I'd feel comfortable getting myself a glass of water without asking first. I don't take off my shoes if I'm there for a big party, or if I'm not really good friends with the person in question.

2) I... have no idea. I went to Prom because it's supposed to be a big deal, but the best part was going to IHOP with my friends after Prom was over, still decked out in our full Prom regalia. I suppose for some people it's a kind of last hurrah of high school, or a popularity contest, or... whatever. I don't really get it, sorry. -.0;

3) Using Mr./Mrs./Ms. is seen as a sign of respect and deference. Unless a teacher or professor says they prefer to be called by their first name (which does happen; I had one professor who wouldn't respond to anything but his first name), it's generally seen as rude, presumptuous, or overly familiar to call an instructor by first name.

4) I'm not sure if you're talking about reprints or international books. I assume you're talking about international books, because in the US, the US versions of UK books have different covers than the UK covers. I assume it has something to do either with rights (if the foreign publisher has the right to use the same cover art) or with marketing (even in the same genre, different localities have different expectations, and covers will be changed to more closely align with the general trends of that locality's covers for the genre of the book in question). If it helps, I generally prefer getting the original versions, too, but importing is expensive.

4. That isn't just exclusive to the UK, by any stretch of the imagination! Look at Harry Potter - the British covers would be the originals, then. But even in the same country, reprints and different editions can vary significantly as well - again, using Harry Potter as an example, the 'kids edition' and 'adults edition' basically only vary in terms of cover art. And let's not get in to how many covers for something like Lord of the Rings has been used!

2. I'd say it's the media combined with the fact that depending on the area, teens don't get a lot of chances to dress up at that age, so it's an excuse to wear something they wouldn't normally. I mean, I didn't go to my own prom, but all the girls I knew that did were real excited about their dresses and stuff.

1) Personally, I wear shoes indoors because I have broken too many toes to risk going barefoot. I've broken both of my little toes twice each walking into doorways or heavy furniture and I broke a middle toe slipping on the stairs. I was barefoot or in socks each time. Now I always wear something with a semi-stiff sole at home - sandals in the summer and ugg boots in the winter - to protect my toes. I would remove my shoes when entering another person's house if they asked, though.

As someone above mentioned, if you live someplace where it is really cold, even with the heat on you still may get really cold feet and will at least need socks or slippers to be comfortable. Where I live, it's actually more likely that you will remove your footwear when entering a house in the winter than in summer - despite that footwear being harder to remove - because you will be wearing big, heavy boots that can track in a lot of slush and dirt. The balance tips away from "making yourself too casually at home is impolite" and towards "tracking in muddy water is impolite."

4) Sometimes the UK cover *is* the original cover. :P It's likely that publishing/distribution rights to a text do not always come with rights to the original cover art/design, so the UK publisher/distributor has to have a new cover made (this may even be cheaper than negotiating rights to the original). There's also the matter of marketing and taking into consideration how you want to try to sell the book and what cultural differences mean to how appealing people will find a particular cover.

1. This is a stereotype of the US, but pretty much everyone I know takes off their shoes when they get inside the house (taking them off in the entryway). I honestly don't get it, either.

2. I honestly don't know; I think it's been played up by TV and movies to the point where it's such a big deal. I went to prom and while it was fun to get a nice dress and get my make-up done, I just went with a group of friends (most of us didn't have dates nor did we care) and it was just a normal dance. Idk.

3. I think in general it's supposed to be respectful, and that first names are more personal. It depends on the teacher, though!

1) I agree
2)No idea, I'm British
3)In secondary school here, it's usually Sir, Miss or *prefix surname*, at college, the teachers introduce themselves by first name and at University they also introduce themselves by name.
4) No idea, but then again you could say the same for other countries who change the cover art of example: Harry Potter.

1. I switch to indoor shoes because I have bad feet and if I don't wear my orthotics I end up in a lot of pain from my ankles to my neck.

But I hate it, because I was raised in a culture where you take your shoes off at the door.

3. Respect.

4. Different cultures have different preferences. What attracts you to a cover might not attract someone from a different country. Also, different publishers have different rights or contracts for the art.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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