fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2071 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2071 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think the word "sexual", as a prefix for both "attraction" and "orientation" means the same thing - that is, an attraction or orientation that is sexual in nature. Besides that, people often speak of the "gender" they are attracted to, not the sex.

Also contrasting "sexual orientation" to "romantic orientation" illustrates this. Nowhere in the word "romantic" is the object of attraction referenced.

It is indeed a complicated topic and the terminology can be confusing, but I still think this part is pretty clear. Some people certainly may have been misusing it.

I was just going off of things I'd heard and didn't want to flat out call them wrong because I can see both sides, but you're right in that most people seem to talk about the gender they're attracted to rather than the sex. I think that's why, if people are going to go off the definition I mentioned before, then you were right when you said they need another term.

I'm not saying they're right in saying "sexual orientation" refers to sex (or gender) but I can kind of see how it might make sense on a certain level. Obviously the majority of people aren't going to interpret it in the way they mean it, though, which is why I suggested "romantic orientation" instead. So I'm not going to say they're 100% misusing the terminology because in theory I can see how they could get that meaning, but the point of language is to communicate, and if the majority of people are misinterpreting your intent then obviously you need to come up with another word.

"Also contrasting "sexual orientation" to "romantic orientation" illustrates this. Nowhere in the word "romantic" is the object of attraction referenced."

For what it's worth, the way I see it, one describes the sex of people (I disagree that people usually say gender instead; outside of the internet I see people using 'sex' way more) and one describes the type of relationship. They don't contradict each other because they're referring to different things.

Maybe the 'sexual' prefix used to refer only to sexual attraction but I don't think it automatically does anymore. I'm sexually attracted to the same people I'm attracted to in other ways (I'm bi) but the sexual part is only one aspect and I don't think the word for the overall concept should be based solely on sex. I don't know that calling it a romantic orientation is the answer either but it seems like there's got to be a better word out there.

"Sexual" and "romantic" are both modifiers of attraction. What you're saying would make way more sense if those kinds of relationships are the same, but they're not always. I don't think there's a better word to describe an attraction or relationship that is sexual in nature other than "sexual".

I'm sexually attracted to the same people I'm attracted to in other ways

Not everyone is.

Not everyone is.

Oh, I definitely get that. That was actually my point but I failed spectacularly at making it. :p

To put it another way, my issue with 'sexual orientation' and 'romantic orientation' is that I think most people tend to think sex and romance always go together 100% of the time, and they don't. I think no matter which term you use, most people are going to assume that it also includes the other type of attraction while it doesn't always. I mean, if someone were to mention their 'sexual orientation' I think the majority of people would assume that included romantic attraction as well, and the same goes for 'romantic orientation' and people assuming it definitely included sexual attraction. I think 'sexual and/or romantic orientation' or like you said somewhere above, 'sexual-romantic orientation' would make more sense, since by using both words it points out that they're two different things. And I think there should be a word that could mean either both sexual and romantic or just one or just the other so it includes everybody--if you say 'sexual orientation' it leaves out asexuals who have a romantic orientation but if you say 'romantic orientation' it leaves out aromantic people who have a sexual orientation. By having a term that includes both it doesn't exclude anyone, plus I think by pointing out that they're two different words, it would theoretically make people less likely to assume they were the same thing.

I don't know, it makes sense in my head!

Yes, that makes sense. The only issue I have with a term like "sexuo-romantic attraction/orientation" is that some people who only experience one of those types of attractions might feel uncomfortable using a term that implies both - unless, of course, there was a strong connotation that it was inclusive but didn't HAVE to include both and one aspect of one's s-o orientation (lol making that up) is whether they are specific to one or have both (or neither). Spelling them out separately like that might help enforce that they are separate things, but it might also reinforce the idea that they are the same since you are now including them in one word, and I guess that was my instinct here which is why I'm leaning towards it being better to keep them separate terms.

But we cannot predict exactly what would happen. And I see where you are coming from - sorry it took me so long to understand it completely! It seems we're on the same page and want to accomplish the same things, just have different ideas about how to go about it, and that's ok. That's why this kind of discourse is so important!

I guess 'sexual and/or romantic' would make it clear that it could be either or both with the 'and/or' but that's pretty long and not catchy, lol. But yeah, I think keeping them separate would work best if more people realized the distinction (and it's entirely possible that I'm underestimating people's knowledge; I'm just basing it of off my own personal experience) but you're right, there's no guarantee they'd understand any better if it was one word instead. I really don't know what the answer is, other than hoping that as time goes on people will become more informed on the subject and who knows, language is always evolving, so maybe a word will emerge from somewhere that takes care of this issue.

"That's why this kind of discourse is so important!"

I agree! Important, and also interesting, at least to me...sexuality and related topics are something I find pretty much endlessly fascinating.

[ SECRET POST #2071 ]

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