[ SECRET POST #2074 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2074 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Sam Winchester, Young Hercules]


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[La Pucelle: Tactics]


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Notes:

Important: I'm really sorry about this, but I accidentally misclicked and deleted the submission post from last week instead of saving it. Managed to save the first page (25) of secrets, but the rest (about 100 or so) are gone.

If you submitted something last week (Aug 26-Sept 1), please resubmit it here.

The submissions post for next week is below as usual.

Secrets Left to Post: ?? pages, ??? secrets from Secret Submission Post #296.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kallanda_lee]

I'm sort of even more fucked up. I had this very dark phase with a lot of angst, drama and pain - and it was really, really horrible, objectively speaking. Like, the sort of horrible that makes you drop out of school or locked up in a mental institution.

My life is more or less normal now, but I actually thrive on fantasies on self-insert dark!me because on some level I miss the non-normal.

[(Anonymous)]

For me its vicarious kind of. I know I'm never going to be pining away of love for someone IRL, I'm too practical for that, but it feels good to pretend to be a character that's doing that to another and going through it.

[kallanda_lee]

I find that interesting - if I may ask,n what appeals to you about it? Do you enjoy pretending you're someone who is very different from the real you?

[(Anonymous)]

Different anon here but same feelings. In reality, I'm reclusive and happy enough with being single that I'll pretty much dump a boyfriend or not start dating someone at any sign of something aggravating in the long term--I'm young, I have time, I'm fine alone, why bother with less than ideal. Someday I'll probably find someone to settle down with, someone whose personality is so close to mine that we can mesh together without a real need for adjustment or change. But that means I won't feel that passion that's anything more than a crush, won't want someone so badly that I'd fight or do anything for them, won't get that exhilarating rush from winning or the cathartic sobs of true heartbreak. I'll just keep living my life, feeling one step removed from the world, as though the true me is cuddled up in a cozy pile of blankets somewhere deep within me, never emerging long enough to know what it's like to play in the snow.

Unpleasant as it is, just once it'd be wonderful to feel that truly desperate for someone, to know what it's like to feel that sort of broken down and then pull myself together again. I want the passion, I want the adrenaline; I want to know what it feels like to give all of myself. But the real me stays ever practical, ever distant, ever ready to give up on any relationship because the worlds of my dreams are so much more interesting than anything this world holds. In the end, I think that's it. It's always been a bit disappointing to me that my earth holds no true magic, and despite the hurt I want to meet someone who could make me feel differently about that.

But I have no patience for people who aggravate me and am too self-contained to become so attached to anyone else that I risk any part of myself, and so I read stories of others who can.

[(Anonymous)]

If that's fucked up, then the vast majority of humanity is. There's a reason why tear-jerkers, tragedies, sob stories, horror, etc. exist. Most humans like a nice hit of vicarious horribleness now and then, apparently.

[(Anonymous)]

It's a little different if you watch a tragedy though. You sympathize but you don't pretend you're them.

[(Anonymous)]

Maybe not actively imagining that you are them, but there's an element of identification or empathy there. At least for me when I watch things! Maybe that experience is not universal though.

[(Anonymous)]

That sounds more like sympathy than empathy? Lots of people feel sad when they watch a sad movie.

Fewer people watch a sad movie in order to make themselves feel sad.

I don't think many people at all save the memory of the sad movie so they can pretend to be the heartbroken character in it later in order to feel the emotional pain that their ordinary lives are too normal and happy for...

[(Anonymous)]

I think that people do watch sad movies in order to make themselves feel sad, and I think that while they don't do the latter thing, it's a difference of degree more than anything else. But I think this is the point where we just disagree and are unlikely to convince each other, or really do anything except post "THIS IS WHAT I THINK" at each other. So it's all good. Also I find something about that description rather poignant. I don't know. It's well-put and an interesting phenomenon to think about.

[shinyhappypanic]

I can really identify with this (I did end up switching schools, which was amazing for my mental health).

[kallanda_lee]

I switched schools two times. Third's a charm, eh?