fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2075 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2075 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Twilight]

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[Christian Bale, Scott Disik]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

10. [SPOILERS for Misfits]

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11. [SPOILERS for A Song of Ice and Fire]

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12. [SPOILERS for the Vampire Diaries]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

13. [WARNING for rape]

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14. [WARNING for suicide]

[Truffaldino from Bergamo (1976)]

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15. [WARNING for pedophilia, rape]

[DC Comics]

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16. [WARNING for depression]

[Zac Little/AngryFilmsProduction (YouTube)]

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17. [WARNING for child abuse]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #296.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Not a troll.

I honestly didn't see any abuse when I read the Twilight books, just a boring messy plot. I thought this was why everyone hated them and because the film had bad actors.

I guess it's because I only recently realised that all of my relationships have been abusive, one physically as well as mentally. I thought this was just normal relationship stuff.

:[. I'm so sorry, nonnie, I hope you have better luck and tools to avoid abusive relationships in future. Hugs if you want them.

And I hope there aren't too many Twilight readers out there who actively learnt from it that that behaviour is Okay and expected from their partners. But...

Thank you :)

I'm going to reread the first book and see if I can understand the abusive parts better. I have started to notice them in other books (Sookie Stackhouse for example).

I'm lucky now as I have someone who can help me with what's happened in the past (my best friend is training to be a sexologist) but there's still a few grey areas I'm not sure about relating to my asexuality.

Sorry you went through that, anon. :( I'm glad you're starting to realize that you deserve better and I'm glad your best friend is there to help.

I didn't see abuse either when I first read the books. I'm glad I know better now.

Thanks. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who didn't notice.

I wonder about girls younger than me without relationship experience, will they think this is normal? Will they expect this in a relationship? :(

I wonder about girls younger than me without relationship experience, will they think this is normal? Will they expect this in a relationship?

And this is the biggest danger those books pose.

Just pointing in my own two cents, as someone who loved this serious though a good part of high school: no, I don't really think so. Or, well, I can't speak for other girls, but I definitely wasn't affected that way. Even back when I was a young teen and loved the books uncritically, I was, in a sense, aware that I was... turning my brain off, I guess? Like, not in the sense that I was being brainwashed or anything, but I considered sort of like an action movie- no, in real life it would not be cool to have aliens blow up New York City, but it is so much fun to watch. I grew out of loving the series eventually, as did all of the friends who I used to squee about it with; in fact, the majority of my friends turned around and started bashing the book series. I don't want to say all girls will get over/start disliking the series eventually, but I and my... ten or so friends I used to fan it with all did, and so I think many others will too.

(It's a little sad, actually. Twilight might not have been quality or even emotionally healthy literature, but it was so wonderful being able to gush about a book to someone and have them gush back at me instead of just sort of being polite about my enthusiasm. I really do miss that.)

+1

I had pretty much the same experience with Twilight, and you put it so elegantly! (I also miss the gushing...)

You're right, you can't speak for other girls, and if even one gets the idea it's okay, that's too many. Unfortunately, it's likely to be a lot more, given the culture we already inhabit. Sexism affects females differently.

This is one of the biggest problems with the books, particularly considering a lot of popular books portray unhealthy relationships. That love will change a man is something taught to girls in popular culture, and it's part of why I ended up in an abusive relationship.

tw: abuse

I think there are a lot of girls who won't end up influenced, girls who have better RL role models. But... growing up, my main examples of committed romantic relationships were bad enough to make Edward look healthy. When you get used to your dad screaming at your mom, and are used to horrible things being said to you on a regular basis... someone watching over you and then doing things like protecting you from your own stupidity can look really romantic in comparison (and this is how I probably would have interpreted those scenes at 14 or so). Even if those acts are abusive in themselves, in comparison... well. :-|

[ SECRET POST #2075 ]

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