case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-09-08 03:44 pm

[ SECRET POST #2076 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2076 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 5 pages, 108 secrets from Secret Submission Post #297.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-09-25 12:14 pm (UTC)(link)
That's generalizing. Many white women recognize they have it easier than black women and still face sexism. If someone shames them for that, they're wrong, but not everyone that notices their privilege is denying their struggles. Though I don't doubt that happens, what really doesn't help anyone is to automatically assume that if anyone points it out that someone has a privilege then they are a "SJW" looking to toot their own horn. That just kills discussion and makes people believe they don't have to think about what they say since they can just dismiss is as a SWJ thing.

If a white woman said she had it worse than black woman no one would stand for it. They would probably tell her she had white privilege, and that doesn't mean they would be saying that she doesn't face other problems or that they are insignificant. Same logic applies here, if a bisexual person says they're more oppressed and someone calls them out on it, they're not out to ruin their life with SJWness.

True, you don't have to be extremely oppressed to face oppression, but I'm not arguing that, I'm arguing that bisexuals that say they are more oppressed than everyone else because they're bisexuals are wrong, and if those people are doing so in queer spaces then It's not wrong to care enough about it to call them out on it.
nachtmusik: (No. Nein. Nyet. Non.)

[personal profile] nachtmusik 2012-09-25 01:05 pm (UTC)(link)
...I'm talking about cases where the person in question is complaining about the prejudices that do apply to them and get shot down for stupid reasons like that. And no, I'm not "generalizing". This is a thing that fucking happens, and it is gross, and this is the first time I've ever seen someone use this sort of line without blatantly intending to attack the "less oppressed" group/person.

But who the fuck says that? What most people I've seen say is that it fucking sucks that they have to not only deal with homophobic straight people, but they are often mistrusted or even shunned by queer people just because they aren't monosexual. No, no one should say they're "more oppressed" (honestly even a group who is shouldn't be saying that because who fucking cares, all oppression is bad), but that....isn't really a huge problem. People are just interpreting "it fucking sucks that both straight and queer groups shun me" as "weh weh I'm more oppressed than gays and lesbians!" which. Isn't what that means.
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-09-29 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
So you're talking about cases where people get shot down by SJW on a wrong bias, which I said in my post is wrong and don't agree with, and also said is not an case that applies to all. If you can make this separation then how come you can't see that the complaint the OP of this thread is talking about the specific bisexuals that play oppression olympics then? Because that's gross too, and that's what I object to.

"But who the fuck says that?"

You've already asked that. I gave you my own experience with people that say that, and linked to a person on this very thread saying it, and another saying they also see it happen all the time. What's the point of asking who says it if you're just gonna refuse to acknowledge it happens? Also, if people are saying "We are more oppressed than gays and lesbians" when they aren't then it doesn't fall on the gay and lesbians to read any hidden meaning into it other than literally what it says.
nachtmusik: (biergarten)

[personal profile] nachtmusik 2012-10-07 01:25 pm (UTC)(link)
The legitimate concerns of bisexuals are regularly lumped in with what you're talking about. Which really isn't a common thing. It probably does happen, but not nearly as much as. You know. Bisexuals actually being discriminated against by both heterosexuals and gays and lesbians. And I'm sorry, but even if I disagree with any "more oppressed" arguments, quite frankly, I cannot blame anyone for being disgruntled when they get shit from both homophobic straights and the rest of the queer minority umbrella. And seriously, on what planet is it not a problem that myself and other girls like me have both had straight peers balk at them for being sexually attracted to women, and have had lesbians flat out tell them that they wouldn't ever consider dating them because they're afraid they'd just leave them for a man?

Those were not examples of anyone actually saying that. Those were examples of people claiming they've seen it, and one idiot using the word "heterophobia".
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-10-19 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
They shouldn't be, and in this case I honestly don't see how they were since other issues of bisexual people never even came into discussion. Just because someone points out a specific issue a within group of people it doesn't mean they're saying every person of that specific group is like that(ie when women criticize guys they are obviously talking about the bad apples and not every male). Whether they happen more or less I really couldn't say. Honestly though, it's kind of funny that just like you understand and can't blame bisexual people for this, I also understand and can't blame gay people for being selective about their dating preferences, oh well.

Those were not examples of anyone actually saying that. Those were examples of people claiming they've seen it, and one idiot using the word "heterophobia".

This is nitpicking. You asked who says it and I pointed to you someone who said it. Their idiocy is a whole different issue. As for me, this happened in a IRL event so there's not much proof I can give you other than my word, if you don't want to take that then I understand. But the heterophobia idiot is still there, and he's still saying exactly what you are denying people say.
nachtmusik: (sex is awesome)

[personal profile] nachtmusik 2012-10-20 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
....The issue at hand is when people automatically fucking assume that any bisexual who complains about his or her situation as a bisexual being difficult because of the discrimination they face is trying to claim to be "more oppressed" because we have the nerve to complain about another minority's mistreatment of us. It's directly fucking related to this.

No, it's not nitpicking. I am asking for an example of a bisexual actually claiming that they're so much more oppressed than a homosexual. People complain about shit that actually seldom happens all the time. You are not providing a valid example. As for whatever happened to you, why should I believe you when all you tell me is "oh yeah it totally happened"?

Also, I like how you compared a minority to the majority up there with your men example. Cool.
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-10-24 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
The issue at hand is that if a bisexual declares that their issues override that of other queer people because they suffer more discrimination than they do they are wrong, regardless of quotation marks around it or supposed ignorance on the part of the bisexual person. No queer person has an obligation to walk around eggs over a bisexual person who refuses to understand such a simple concept that is not to make light of something they don't personally experience while deciding that they have it harder.

The reason I have no proof of it is because I have no way to backlog bigotry in real life, but I said in my previous post that I understood if you didn't want to take my word for it. The anon claiming exactly what you denied anyone claims is still there, and for some arbitrary reason you simply refuse to acknowledge it. Again, they said exactly what you asked about, making them a perfectly valid example.

I'm not comparing groups. I'm comparing a specific behavior of people that see someone mentioning a bad apple behavior within a group and getting offended by it, because they think that person is applying that to everyone. Sometimes behavior between groups of people overlap, and getting angry when people make an inevitable comparison, just to make a point easier to understand, seems like you're looking for a way to feel offended.
nachtmusik: (demonic yuri)

[personal profile] nachtmusik 2012-10-26 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
No queer person has an obligation to walk around eggs over a bisexual person who refuses to understand such a simple concept that is not to make light of something they don't personally experience while deciding that they have it harder.

>they don't personally experience

Are you fucking stupid or something? Bisexuals still have to deal with homophobia. When I'm with women I get funny looks. I get called a dyke. I get catcalls and men asking if they can watch us fuck. I just also get called a slut, a liar, an attention whore, and a lesbian who won't come all the way out of the closet by biphobic people when they find out that I'm into men and women. Oh I also get called transphobic and accused of trans* erasure for choosing the label bi instead of pan, even though that's a bunch of bullshit. So how about you shut the fuck up and stop making light of things you don't personally experience?

Oh also I really like how you're implying that bisexuals aren't queer.
Edited 2012-10-26 21:52 (UTC)
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-10-29 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god. You're just beyond reasoning with. I was obviously not saying that, and again, you're twisting what I said in order to get angry for no reason. Queer experiences aren't all the same, and the experience of someone who is bisexual is not the same as someone who is a lesbian - to point that out isn't saying that bisexuals don't also experience hardships. I've said so numerous times on this convo.

It is terrible that you go through all of that. I won't ask for you to prove it though. I am, however done with trying to reason with you if you're just going to insult me or explode into a rage over things I didn't actually say.
nachtmusik: (No. Nein. Nyet. Non.)

[personal profile] nachtmusik 2012-10-29 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Okay, no, you're just absolutely fucking ridiculous. You directly say something and then claim "I didn't say that!" Yes you fucking did. How about you just own up to the fact that your entire goddamn argument is that biphobia isn't a real problem? Which, by the way, is a disgusting stance to have.

Or better yet, how about you just fuck off? Since you refuse to listen to a word I say, claim you didn't say things you said in your last post, and are surprised when your own biphobic stances piss a bisexual person off. Yeah, I've had enough of you.
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-10-31 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
I said I didn't, and I didn't. If you actually bothered to look at all of the posts I made in this convo I said numerous times that bisexuals also face homophobia, but you didn't, because it's easier for you to wave your arms around screaming biphobia and hoping it sticks.

Me, fuck off? how about you don't try to enter arguments if all you're gonna do is flail around trying to make the other side into some sort of SJW(while trying your best to go into SJW rage yourself during the whole discussion), ignore points once you can't argue against them anymore or decide that someone must be saying what you want them to, despite they explaining themselves over and over that not the case?

It's hilarious that you're saying I'm the one who's refusing to listen to anything you say, since you're not saying anything- you're just trying to pick a fight and work out some wank boner. I've had enough with you the second you thought you had a coherent argument.
nachtmusik: (Witch)

[personal profile] nachtmusik 2012-10-31 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
This is what the argument has boiled down to so far:

my side: it is bad and harmful to assume that a bisexual who complains about being treated like shit by other members of the LGBT community is trying to claim to be "more oppressed" and/or that his or her claims aren't valid because they can "pass as straight people" (which by the way that sort of logic is generally offensive as fuck to bisexuals because it assumes we're in heterosexual relationships and no one wants to fucking pretend to be something we aren't)

your side: weh weh some bisexuals pretend to be more oppressed so we must side eye every bisexual who claims to have gotten shit from lesbians and gays!

Yeah no you're kind of disgusting here. I'm done with you.
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-11-01 01:07 am (UTC)(link)
I like that you put your argument first, as if I was the one that came into this discussion later. That was you, by the way.

A bisexual complaining about being treated like shit by other members of the LGT community is completely entitled to do so. If they choose to poorly word their defense by saying they have it worse than every one else in the queer community then people should call them out on it, because much as they have been oppressed they also have privilege, and if anything YOUR argument was that bisexuals should be babied by the rest of the community, who should just let them go around saying they're more oppressed than everybody else, not to mention saying this doesn't happen often, even though there's people on this very thread claiming to witness it, and a person saying it, then saying it doesn't happen enough to matter:

"Which really isn't a common thing. It probably does happen, but not nearly as much as. You know. Bisexuals actually being discriminated against by both heterosexuals and gays and lesbians."

(I don't know if the "weh weh" is just childishness on your part or your writing ~style so I choose not to add them here)

As if that makes it somehow a gay person now being obligated to tolerate someone who is bisexual saying something offensive. When someone criticizes that attitude they're not lumping every bisexual person together, as I said, using the way men tend to take offense when women criticize "nice guys", even though they're not talking about every man in the world. Of course, you just saw the word man and tried to go into an "I'm offended" angle.

As for being done with me, you don't really seem to be since you keep filling my inbox with this convo that you started answering me on. I don't believe that I'm wrong, or that you did a good job of demonstrating I am wrong, and I can defend my viewpoint anytime.
nachtmusik: (No. Nein. Nyet. Non.)

[personal profile] nachtmusik 2012-11-01 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
Holy shit, you are bitching about what order I summarized our arguments in? Grow the fuck up.
gobbledigook: (Default)

[personal profile] gobbledigook 2012-11-02 09:34 am (UTC)(link)
You're right, the order isn't that important. I pointed it out because I just found it funny that you came into this thread to answer me(not the other way around) then told me to fuck off once you couldn't come up with an argument.

By the way I see that you're trying to steer the discussion into some sort of lack of maturity on my part so you don't have to answer any of the arguments you lack an answer to. If someone needs to grow up here it really isn't me.