fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2084 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2084 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"TBH, I would be sort of weirded out if my kid was a virgin at 20 or something..."

I hope you reconsider by time/if this becomes relevant. I'm socially awkward, and did not have anything that could be considered sex or much relationship success until around that age, and it would honestly hurt me if one of my parents was weirded out by that. :(

(And, for the record, I'm not at all saying that having sex, including having lots of it, is bad [as long as everything's consensual.] I just think there's also nothing wrong with *not* having it.)

Well, okay, it's one thing if you have some sort of issue preventing you from having sex, I should've said "if my kid was healthy and a virgin at 20" and even then, I could understand someone being 20 and a virgin if they weren't heterosexual, because in our heteronormative culture, being gay/bi presents somewhat of an impediment to getting laid

As with everything I say on F!S I feel like I need an asterix and a whole essay underneath it explaining the myriad exceptions and amendments to my statement...

And I'm not having kids anyway so it's a moot point!

nayrt, but I'm a virgin at 24 simply because I haven't found anyone I wanted to sleep with yet. Frankly I think it's kind of bizarre to have this random cutoff age where you HAVE to have had sex or it's abnormal. People have different desires and different goals and it's kind of silly to expect everyone to act the same, especially wrt something so personal.

+1 from another 24-year-old virgin. I honestly don't think it's that big of a deal?

I don't get why being healthy and a virgin at age 20 is something to be weirded out by or embarrassed about. Some people just aren't interested, others are but haven't found anyone they actually want to sleep with, etc etc; there can be lots of reasons from abstaining from sex. And putting a specific number on it...just seems silly to me.

Another DA, and I don't think it's weird for a healthy, heterosexual 20 year old to be a virgin.

I'm a 33 year old virgin and not at all ashamed of it. o3o

I want my first time to be my wedding night. I just haven't met Mr. Right yet. *shrug*

What on earth is this logic? It's just sex, not a deadline for a grant submission. Some people want to wait until they're really comfortable with the person they intend to sleep with, and some people prefer one night stands because they find it exciting. Neither of these choices are wrong, as long as it's safe, consensual sex.

I'm turning 23 this year and am still a virgin. I don't have a problem with this and am in no rush. No, I'm not waiting until I get married, but I do want to have my "first" be with someone I care about and have been dating for a while at least. It's my body, and I think I'm entitled to that much. The reason I haven't lost it yet is because every relationship I've had so far has been fun, but fleeting. A couple of dates and makeouts, but nothing serious, mainly because I was really focused on school.

And you know what? I have good friends who do hookups and don't want any long relationships, and I adore them to death. No one else can tell us apart on who is a virgin and who isn't, who likes one-night stands and who doesn't, because we're all happy with our lives and don't think sex is a big deal. Losing one's virginity is a very personal thing that everyone is going to have different experiences with. And that's okay.

I don't get this "I judge you" mentality people have on whether you've never slept with someone or have slept with over 100 people. As long as you're happy with your choices, who cares.

but I do want to have my "first" be with someone I care about and have been dating for a while at least.

And in 23 years you haven't found anyone you care about? That just seems depressing. Sorry, that's how I really feel.

sooo...someone who has more important things on their plate than serious long-term relationships is a depressing thing to you? Wow.

That they care about to have sex with, jesus. Also to be more accurate it's only seven years, give or take, of looking for a possible sexual partner.

It's really shitty of you to look down on people for what they choose to do with their body and emotions.

So this person can't have friends or family that they care about deeply and be happy? The only way they can ever be satisfied with life is if they care about someone enough to fuck them?

If you really think that's all someone is worth, then you've got issues. Go talk to Dr. Phil or something.

well i'm 23 and i've never been in a serious relationship, mostly because i have super high standards and pretty much nobody who's willing to come near me fits the bill. shrug. i'm not in any hurry and i'm not willing to compromise on my standards so whatever. nobody besides me should even care.

Being depressed for people who are perfectly happy seems like a huge waste of time.

Oh my god, you actually feel that way, don't you?

Now that is depressing.

I'm 32 and while not a virgin, I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than a few months (although a few of those involved people I'd been or would go on to be friends with for much longer), and some didn't even last long enough for sex to happen, so I can fully understand why someone simply wouldn't find a good opportunity, even by the "advanced" age of 20 or 23.

No matter how much you want it and no matter how much energy you put into looking, there is never a guarantee that you will be able to get a date, much less a life partner, at any particular time.

It's a numbers game and some of us have just had bad luck so far.

I have no words for how stupid this comment is.

I'm a 23 year old virgin because I just haven't gotten around to it. XD

I want the casual sex thing because I don't want a relationship, but for the past four years I've been in college and BUSY, and now I'm in a small town. Mail order sex seems a bit extreme to me, because--IMO--it's never been a big enough deal to bother with.

I do have sexually active friends who act like I'm doing something weird by not being sexually active, but that's a rare occurrence, and kind of a minor blip on my radar most days. :)

Thanks for explaining to me why there must be something deeply wrong with me that I'm a virgin past twenty.

[ SECRET POST #2084 ]

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