fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2094 ]

[ SECRET POST #2094 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2094 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 042 secrets from Secret Submission Post #299.
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If by 'friend dumped' you mean 'friendzoned'...

At one point I was one with all the unrequited feelings and stuff.
But it was pretty obvious the person I liked had feelings for someone else, and I wanted them to be happy, so I wasn't going to interfere and make it into a big mess. Eventually it faded with time and I barely remember it.
Just a teen crush.

At another point I was the one who had to actually say: "Sorry, but no." That was much more difficult. Part of me wanted to just say "Yes" to make the other person happy, but another part of me knew that it would be wrong to lie.

Naw, I don't mean 'friendzoned', I mean 'dumps' like the platonic version of when someone 'dumps' you at the end of a romantic relationship.

Ahahahaahahhaahahahaaahahahhahaa. I cannot answer this even here for fear that it will be somehow found by the ex-friend and ex-friend's evil SO, but it is a tale of woe and WTFery, FS. Woe and WTFery.

And somehow I have commented to the wrong comment of this thread. LOL

Edited 2012-09-27 00:28 (UTC)

Worst--really stupid argument from both of us that got REALLY bad. I begged her for forgiveness, she refused.

Months later she contacts me again because she wants to RP with me. We manage to sort of patch things up and act like friends again.

Had another argument, this time even stupider on both sides. She blocks me again, I know not to even bother begging for forgiveness this time because once she does her "NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN EVER" thing she'll be quiet for months while ranting about how you're a horrible person (but she ~*~doesn't hold grudges.~*~)

Anyway, contacts me months later and GUESS WHAT she wants to play with me in RP again. This time much more reluctant but want to be nice so I agree to it. She doesn't even bother trying to be friends with me this time--with the rest of the crew she'll be her usual outgoing, friendly self, but when I contact her to ask questions I get short, brisk answers made up of as few words as possible. This is bad because we're playing super-close siblings and we kind of need to be able to communicate. Unsurprisingly she eventually drops and I haven't spoken to her since, although last I heard a few years ago she was still occasionally going into rants about how I'm a horrible person on social media. Whatever.

I'm not sure if I have a "best", all of the "ex" friends I have are just ones I moved away from and eventually stopped talking to. I tend to be a clingy person so when I lose friends it's either because of that or huge dramatic arguments like the above. (And yes, I know this is partially my fault and I'm making an effort to get better at this.)

Ah, yeah I tend to be the same way actually. It always sucks when things blow out like that - and even more so since it happened more than once it seems.

once had a friend (who was in the process of being assimilated into the MMO machine where she's remained ever since) tell me i didn't have any real friends.

i told her that automatically disqualified her from being one. so i guess it was a mutual friend dumping? whatever.

Huh, that's kind of a bitchy thing for her to say. : / Sorry that it happened.

worst: she got into a huge argument with me in front of our mutual friends telling me I was a horrible person for inviting another friend to go to a con with me

best: we just mutually drift apart I guess?

well i guess i'd have to pick between two worst.
in the first case, a friend who i'd had for a few years started dating this dude who kind of maybe kept making death threats against me, and she decided she'd rather keep dating him than keep being friends with me, so that sucked. i remember being more pissed off than hurt, though.

in another case, my former best friend just abruptly stopped talking to me, then eventually blocked me on every available platform because i guess didn't clue in fast enough that the friendship was over. i get the feeling i probably did something to spark this sudden hatred, but to this day i cannot figure out what that could have been. that one blew real hard because we'd been so close up til that point.

Worst: I had a very complicated codependent relationship with an emotionally abusive and sexually curious friend when I was sixteen/seventeen. It was a very rocky relationship full of a lot of fights and cycles of abuse that ended in him dumping me by telling me that we were actually in a relationship the whole time and that we should not be friends or spend time together anymore. Fucking dick. The emotional scars still in some form remain three years later. . .

Best: Is there a best way to get friend dumped? I've never encountered a positive one that didn't include just gradually drifting apart, mostly due to distance.

Never really been friend dumped, but I've been embarrassingly friend intercepted. So, first week of college, trying to make friends with the roomies and the people around me. As you do. Roomie, downstairs girl and I are walking back to dorms after dinner. Downstairs girl says "Let's walk around a while." I'm like, "Okay, cool." She's like,"Did I say you? [Roomie] only." She gives me the stink eye. Roomie shrugs. They walk off. Roomies, suitmates and I had been getting on well up until that point. Then they started hanging out with downstairs girl and I wasn't invited because she didn't like me. She talked shit about me and got others to avoid me. Small school, so the shit talk got around. I only was able to make a few friends with the people who lived off campus and the college going adults (like, one of my better friends was older than my dad).
I
That's the worst. Being intercepted before you can even make friends.

Best: drifting apart after high school or saying bye to casual co-worker friends who change shifts or get a new job

Wow. why did she hate you?

(Now I picture you and your college friends as some kind of Community-esque band of misfits. It's pretty awesome.)

Re: What are the best and worst ways you've been 'friend dumped' F!S?

fingalsanteater - 2012-09-27 03:20 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are the best and worst ways you've been 'friend dumped' F!S?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-27 20:04 (UTC) - Expand

I don't have a lot of practice with this but...

He told me "You're a terrible driver, your house is a mess, you talk too much and use too many words when you talk, you're always late, and you've never finished a project since I've met you."

Granted, he was ostensibly telling me how I might fit the clinical profile for adult ADHD. But he brought out that little list so damn glibly, it was obvious he'd been waiting to tell me that for a long time, and it came out way too much like "this is how you suck."

I haven't spoken to him since, so maybe you could say I dumped him. But since he had already begun to spend all his time on Second Life, it's less that I dumped him and more like he dumped me in favor of a project to create a virtual reproduction, complete in every detail, of the high school from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

Worst: So I live in Michigan. My brother, best friend, best friend's gf, and I are going to Las Vegas for a convention. We're going to split a $400 room bill. Well we weren't going on the same flight and my brother and I ended up having to go to LA, and drive to Vegas with two other friends who were going to the con. So I'd only gotten a few hours sleep, had to drive six hours from LA to Vegas on Labor Day weekend, and so we arrived a lot later to the hotel.

When we get to the hotel, my best friend informs me that he invited another friend along and they'd gotten another room. So he, his gf, and other friend will take that room and we can have the original. You know the one my brother and I were only expecting to pay half on. I'm stressed because I didn't bring a lot of money to the convention and I don't have the extra money in my bank account for another week to cover the room. So I get to call my mother at 3 am Vegas time to beg her to put 200 in my bank account tomorrow and that I'd pay her back. She does and so my brother and I have $40 to our name, in Vegas.

That weekend my bestfriend comes up to me once to talk to me. The rest of the weekend is spent with my brother and the friends we flew in with. I never talk to him again.

Best: We just stopped talking to each other after they moved out of state.

Dude. That sucks. What an unthinking, selfish idiot.

That's incredibly selfish. I had similar things happen to me. Mostly from friends who are far better well off than I am. They think something like unexpected expenses is easy to handle.

Yeah, assholes.

Hanging out with a group of people I thought were friends while studying in England. We were on a trip outside London. The group suddenly started accidentally leaving me behind.

Then one of the guys cornered me told me that no one liked me, I was boring, stupid, and ugly. That they wanted me to go away and they didn't care if I never made it back to London and the dorms.

I walked away in a daze and started sobbing in a little book store when I realized I didn't know how to get back to London on my own. Bless the group of grey haired Canadian ladies that were in the shop at the same time and let me ride in their tour bus back into London with them. It sounds like something out of a movie, but I'm glad those ladies reached out to a young woman in distress.

:( that sucks and I'm sorry those people were so stupid

Oh wow. I'm sorry that happened to you. That's awful. *hugs*

Wow, that was an amazingly vicious thing for your ~friends to do.

I'm glad the story has a happy ending, though.

Oh anon :( *hugs* I'm glad those Canadian ladies were better than the dumpers and helped you out.

Re: What are the best and worst ways you've been 'friend dumped' F!S?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-27 09:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are the best and worst ways you've been 'friend dumped' F!S?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-27 12:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are the best and worst ways you've been 'friend dumped' F!S?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-27 12:37 (UTC) - Expand

Once a friend blocked/unfriended me in the middle of a conversation and dragged a few other friends into also blocking and unfriending me, because she hated me but was pretending to be my friend because she was friends with my sister. Then she hacked my account to a fandom site and got me IP banned.
I am so glad I'm not thirteen anymore.

She, uh, moved to the otherside of the world and stopped talking to me.

The break was good though. We're friends again. Everyother friendship has just been a slow growing apart

I friend dumped someone once. I wasn't too nice about it. Kind of dickish if I really think about it. Dunno what I was thinking, but it was a clean cut on my end.

We met at a coffeshop art club I'd visit a couple of times a year. Basically we were a pretty general friendship, but then she decided we were best friends and was constantly talking to me or suggesting we hang out. It was kind of annoying. I mostly just ignored it. I'm not too social and didn't want to provoke a drama or upset her by telling her to back off on the friend stuff and give me space.

Then I decided to move to a different city. I didn't tell her about it. On the day of the move I blocked her everywhere. On facebook, my phone, email. Email I used with her wasn't linked to any accounts online and we don't exactly have any mutual friends. The art club won't notice me gone since I only went a couple of times.

So I just cut all contact off when I moved to a different city. I don't know how she took it. Like I said, no mutual friends. I sometimes wonder what her reaction was to my flat being empty and myself gone, but cut contact is cut contact so I haven't unblocked or anything to find out.

So. Frienddumping

Re: What are the best and worst ways you've been 'friend dumped' F!S?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-27 19:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: What are the best and worst ways you've been 'friend dumped' F!S?

(Anonymous) - 2012-09-28 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

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