fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2105 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2105 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 107 secrets from Secret Submission Post #301.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So yeah. I kinda figured out I'm in love with someone I've never met. We've known each other online for years, shared fandom, created elaborate worlds together, and picked each other up when the world became a dark, crappy place. And today, we were just having a normal conversation, and it just sort of hit me. And I felt sick and happy and depressed at the same time.

It's never gonna happen, I know. I'm not THAT irrational. Conscription is gonna be an issue in our relationship for starters. And then there's the fact they live on the other side of the world to me, and there's a slim chance of us meeting for at least another few years. And I know they'd never see me in that light anyway. In fact, I could list a hundred reasons why it'd fall apart.

But I still love them. And I hate knowing that now, when it hurts too much.

Can anyone else share stories of their online relationships/friendships? How they dealt with this sort of situation? I'm not looking for a bitchslap into reality or advice, or anything. I just want to hear other people's experiences. Maybe it'll help clear my head or something.

I became friends with someone online some years ago we talked for a couple of years before we actually dated, mostly because both of where (and still are) bastards, it did work our for a couple of years of long distance though, before he cheated on me. It was made a bit easier because we only lived like 8 hours away from each other, even if we lived in different countries.

What I'm trying to say I think is that we where best friends for ages without any thought of romance before we got together, and well the same could happen to you, long distance relationships sucks though, but some people handle it better than others. And never say never.

Repeating this, since I put it under the wrong one:

I was in an online relationship on and off for years. I really miss the person even now. For a while I fooled myself that we would actually meet, which was silly. (There was an age difference too -- we were both adults though.) To be honest with you, overall it brought me pain and I really wish I'd stayed friends with them instead even though I crushed on them pretty hard and was thrilled when I first found out they felt the same way.

It actually helped me through some difficult times, on the positive side. But being friends with them might have too.

I have quite a few of online friends, and one case of a sort of e-relationship? It's sort of weird.
Anyway, with my e-friends I just try to keep in contact, mostly. Through Facebook, Twitter, Skype sometimes, and I try to do that whenever I got the time. It takes some work but some of the friends I got on the Internet are really, really good friends.
And the one sort of e-relationship, well, I was in love with a guy I met on a forum. We were good friends before and after, but at one point we were both unsure of whether we felt more or whether we were just good friends. I figured out I was in love and told him that (later on he told me, iirc because it's been years and my memory's fucked up sometimes, that he loved me back but he didn't want to ruin our friendship because of distance and stuff) and then there were a couple of months during which we talked and shared more than ever. It wasn't the best thing, tbh, it mostly sucked that I knew I could never meet him and be sure about anything and that all contact was gonna be through the internet.
Anyway, those are my two cents, haha. I hope things work out for you! *offers hugs*

I don't know if you'll see this reply, it's been a while since this was posted, but I think I know what that feels like. I might be in a somewhat similar situation. For me I just have to repeatedly evaluate how things are on a very regular basis. Ask myself whether it's worth it. Figure out how far exactly it would take for things to not be worth it. Draw lines, or try as hard as I can to define how much I can let myself be ok with this, and when I'll need to break it off.

I try not to talk about what my own standards are, it's mostly very personal, and for each person what their lines are or how far they're willing to go or continue on in a situation like that - where they like someone else but the chances of actually meeting a person are next to nothing - that's something they have to answer for themselves.

What I can say, though, is that there's someone I like. Being able to talk with them makes me happy. Not being able to meet them isn't something I like and sometimes I get a bit sad about it. But weighing everything, if I ask myself whether or not it's worth it to keep talking and building and telling them that I like them, the answer (for me, for now) is still unquestionably 'yes'.

I know it probably won't be forever. But I know what it'd take for it to end, and I know if it comes to that, I'll confront that as best as I can. Even so, while the good times might not last forever, I'll enjoy them for as long as they're here.

[ SECRET POST #2105 ]

In love with a stranger

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