case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-10-08 06:30 pm

[ SECRET POST #2106 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2106 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #301.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - way too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - secret posted as text ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
well yeah. and most people seek help for those issues instead of creating new and new ~labels~ for themselves so that they can hide behind saying they're xyzromantic wtfeversexual blahsensual queerplatonic carrots and you're totally disrespecting them if you tell them they should get help for their issues.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
lmao

you really are trying
feeling kinda bad for you tbh

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
lol did i say anything that isn't true though

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
yeah

you can't seem to comprehend that there are plenty of people who just don't like sex

and use romantic orientation markers because relationships aren't all about sex

so you're really trying hard to make asexuals sound soooo unreasonable and appropriative, when most aren't

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
and you can't seem to comprehend that plenty of people who "just don't like sex" have massive issues.

(frozen comment) da

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Not true. I think you sound like you have waaaaay more issues than I do, yet I ID as asexual and live my life perfectly happy and mostly issue free! I don't generally talk about my sexuality, but the fact remains that that's what it is.

(frozen comment) (no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-08 23:29 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) OMG MY DELICATE SEXUALITY IS BRUISED

[personal profile] tyger66 - 2012-10-09 00:48 (UTC) - Expand

(frozen comment) (no subject)

[personal profile] elephantinegrace - 2012-10-09 02:47 (UTC) - Expand
sockpants: (Default)

(frozen comment)

[personal profile] sockpants 2012-10-08 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Among other things, I've never heard anyone identify as a carrot.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
it was a dig at all the "zucchini" bs bb

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
what about having zucchini squishes tho

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
WORD.

"gray a/gray ace"
"sex-repulsed"
"sex-negative"
"genophobic"
"libidoist"
"non-libidoist"

These are the labels I've seen for the first time today to add to the exponentially growing number of stupid permutations of identity some people insist on concocting for themselves. Mulitply all these together enough and we're bound to reach the point where any given self-identifying asexual can come up with their own unique label.

And then they'll turn around and give you shit for not knowing the exact meaning of their own particular variation of asexuality, when the gradations are so meaningless that I'm 90% sure that most asexuals don't know themselves. Every new label, every new modifier, every new tag makes me roll my eyes and wish that these people would just fuck off and sort their lives out.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Genophobic is a real term used for fear of sex. It can affect anyone from any sexuality, though I'd assume an asexual would probably have less problems with it?

otherwise

sort their lives out.

have you ever considered that is what the labels are for? I label myself with certain labels to get a better understanding of myself. I may not use these, but the purpose is probably the same. Sorry if you don't like labels , yo, but some people feel like they need them.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Asexual is a very confusing term as it literally means "without sex" but isn't a synonym for celibate, so do you really blame people for narrowing it down to help the rest of us? I use the Kinsey scale because people don't get that bisexual doesn't meant 50/50 sexual attraction.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
Came here to say this, basically so thanks anon. And I'm the same re: the Kinsey scale, as it's the only thing I've found works when trying to explain bisexuality to people who don't understand it.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
those labels aren't meant for you, they're meant for the people they apply to, and others who are interested in sexuality issues of any sort. it helps group people in a vague and general sense that makes it easier to understand where they're coming from rather than forcing them to explain in detail how they feel every single time. i don't get why this is so repulsive to people, it's meant to help the person using them, not ~inconvenience other folks. deal with it.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-08 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
The problem is, it feels as though the people they apply to expect everyone else to understand them. Automatically. If you don't understand the label, you don't UNDERSTAAAAAAND the person and thus you're oppressing them and their right to their own identity. So every new concoction feels like a new moving of an already shifty set of goalposts, they're getting narrower and narrower, and people will get attacked if they take a shot and hit the post [/overstretched analogy].

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
I honestly have not seen anybody get mad at someone for not knowing a specified label.

Asexuality and aromanticism maybe, since those are broad and often confused (which leads to ugh not this shit again)

But I've never seen people get angry at others for not knowing sex-repulsed or libidoist. Some asexuals don't even know those terms.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
It also makes it hard for people to ask questions, and come to an understanding about it.

Simply 'not understanding' does not always mean that you don't care, or that you hate them or are being ignorant.
tyger66: (Default)

(frozen comment)

[personal profile] tyger66 2012-10-09 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
Not knowing something =/= oppressing someone, and I seriously doubt you've been accused of oppressing someone just because you asked them to explain. Maybe because you added rants about 'labels' and asexual people having ~massive issues~, people came to the conclusion that you're a huge dick and reacted accordingly.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
I understand that this is all very confusing for you and so you get frustrated, but honestly why do you care what people label themselves? Why so defensive and angry?

And you do realize that there are identifying terms within every sexual identity. Some people like their labels. They like to break it down into neat little categories for themselves. If you venture into any online community dealing with identity you'll find a breakdown of labels like this.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
Yep

Other anon should see some of the labels the gay community has. Granted, most of them are sex/appearance related, but still.
superuser: (smugmug)

(frozen comment)

[personal profile] superuser 2012-10-09 02:19 am (UTC)(link)
libidoist sounds like a fun political affiliation
tasogare_n_hime: (snape headdesk)

(frozen comment)

[personal profile] tasogare_n_hime 2012-10-09 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
Ok, I know this is just a troll comment, but it brings up something that I personally have to deal with from time to time.

I don't want to be in any kind of relationship, I plan on dieing a virgin, and I am perfectly happy with this. Some people however refuse to believe this apparently. I get everything from "If you'd try it you'd like it!" to "You need to get psychiatric help."

Why is it that those people refuse to believe I'm perfectly happy with the way I am, and have no desire to change myself? I must be scared, or have some issue that needs resolved as far as their concerned, and I wonder why they are so worried about me not having sex... It's really creepy.
elephantinegrace: (Default)

(frozen comment)

[personal profile] elephantinegrace 2012-10-09 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
It's our sex (or lack of it) lives. Everyone else can gtfo.

Thank goddess for asexual dating sites.
riddian: (OMGNO)

(frozen comment)

[personal profile] riddian 2012-10-09 03:02 am (UTC)(link)
Not to mention the inevitable "When are you going to get married and have some kids???" I know a few friends who got that question until menopause, and I dread the day when it will inevitably get tossed my way. Gaaahhhh.
brooms: (hullo!)

(frozen comment)

[personal profile] brooms 2012-10-09 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
blahsensual queerplatonic carrots

BEST