[ SECRET POST #2106 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2106 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #301.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - way too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - secret posted as text ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

well

'coming out' as ace is kind of a bullshit thing to bother doing, but that is kind of a mean way to go about letting her know she's being appropriative

(frozen comment)

[tyger66]

"appropriative?"

How is coming out as someone whose sexual orientation is something other than cis appropriative? People "come out" as bisexual. Are they being appropriative? At what point on the sexual orientation scale is 'coming out' not an acceptable term?

Please explain your reasoning, because I am legitimately confused here. Give me a reason other than 'well asexuality isn't actually a sexuality,' and I will examine it rationally, I promise.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

"Mom, Dad, I'm sleeping with members of my own sex."
"Off to bible camp with you, sinner."

"Mom, Dad, I'm not sleeping with anyone."
"That's nice, dear. Tea?"

(frozen comment)

[tyger66]

"Mom, Dad, I don't want to sleep with anyone ever."

"What's wrong with you?"
"Were you abused?"
"You just haven't met the right person."
"It's just a phase. You'll grow out of it."
"That's nice, but don't you want a family?"
"How is he your boyfriend if you aren't having sex? Isn't he just your friend, then?"
"Maybe you should talk to your counselor about this. She might be able to fix you."

Just a small selection of the things I've been told in my life. If my parents were the religious sort, I probably would have been shipped off to Bible camp.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of the same issues as lesbians then, because women who don't want to fuck/marry men are labelled deviant for this reason.

(frozen comment)

[cherrycoloured.livejournal.com]

Um, asexual people can be cis (as can gay/bi/pan people), so I don't know what you mean?

I don't really understand the point of coming out as asexual outside of a dating/romantic relationship context though. I don't need to know what the sex drives of other people are unless I want to have sex with them, and if I do want to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship with them, I'd just ask myself.

(frozen comment)

[tyger66]

SHIT I TOTALLY USED THE WRONG WORD

I meant to type straight, and for some reason I typed cis instead. Pretty much a case of straight up forgetting what I was typing halfway through a phrase, I guess. Sorry about that.

>.<

Well, some people might like to let others know from the get go that while they date, they don't have sexual relationships. Like, I tell people because sometimes I feel like maybe I accidentally send the wrong signals? It's hard to explain once you're already on a date that the night is not going to end in a passionate makeout.

(frozen comment)

[becka]

She was publicly announcing a change in the way she identified. I don't remember if she used the words "coming out", but given that she was part of the group, I don't think it is appropriative for her to tell us about that change. (I do understand the issues around asexuals "coming out", particularly when they are heteroromantic, but I don't think it's the issue here.)