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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-10-08 06:30 pm
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[ SECRET POST #2106 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2106 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #301.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - way too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - secret posted as text ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 04:52 am (UTC)(link)
Probably not a trope but... you can't use honey for lube, or jam, or tree sap, or marmite. And spit on dick with no fingering or any other prep isn't gonna cut it for first time anal... unless you ARE going for the "ow my butt hurts SO FUCKING MUCH" kind of buttsex.
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
Ugh I'll raise you one. Those are bad, but one time I read one where the characters had sex using makeshift lube that was actually melted seal blubber.

elaminator: (Metal Gear Solid 3: Ocelot)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] elaminator 2012-10-09 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
melted seal blubber?! What fandom was this?! What was the circumstance? That is random as all hell. And hilarious. Hilariously disturbing, actually.
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
Sherlock fandom and it was this fic where they were stranded on a desert island or something?

Anyway apparently neither Sherlock nor John had ever heard of non penetrative sex because they decided that the best option was seal oil made from seal blubber. And with that they lubricated their anuses. Multiple times.

I'm laughing because I just realized that it was doubtful that the author didn't know that was weird and gross, but that she chose that scenario based upon the fact that she most likely thought her readers would prefer to read penetrative SEAL OIL sex over 'vanilla' frottage.

The Sherlock fandom is so fucking weird.
elaminator: (Sims 3: Barbara Gordon)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] elaminator 2012-10-09 05:37 am (UTC)(link)
As soon as I read 'Sherlock fandom', this whole thing became much clearer. Melted seal blubber is probably not even the weirdest thing that fandom has used as lube. Well, okay, maybe it is, but I'm sure there's something else in the vicinity of melted seal blubber because again, Sherlock fandom.
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
LOL yeah, Sherlock fandom is self explanatory. . .

They get bored and their series is full of fairly normal things so they do what they can and they get fucking WEIRD.

I have seen things, elaminator. . .
elaminator: (Sherlock)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] elaminator 2012-10-09 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
Is one of those things you saw the fic where Sherlock put his semen in jam and feeds it to John? That's the first thing that came to mind.
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
Ew that's gross why am I not surprised.

I read one where the both of them had sex with a cake.

Fanfiction friday introduced me to the one wherein Sherlock's ass literally becomes more of a haven for vegetables than a vegetable crisper.

There's one where John shrinks down to miniature size and Sherlock dub cons him penetratively with a cotton swab. That one took some brain bleach.

There's one where John gets turned on by My Little Pony and he and Sherlock do gen 4 pony play. I think the first paragraph into that my eyeballs bled into my mouth.

Many other things I'm sure. I have read hundreds of Sherlock fanfictions.

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
don't forget the tentacle!sherlock and dissection fics yo
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
*cough*

I really like the dissection fics tho

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
what can I say, they're compelling

but you already knew that ;)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-09 06:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 06:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-09 06:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 06:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 06:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 06:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-09 06:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 06:52 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 06:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 15:03 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-09 06:58 (UTC) - Expand
elaminator: (Justified: Raylan Givens)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] elaminator 2012-10-09 06:17 am (UTC)(link)
Had sex with a cake? lmao. Okay...

Fanfiction friday introduced me to the one wherein Sherlock's ass literally becomes more of a haven for vegetables than a vegetable crisper.

Somehow this one doesn't surprise me at all.

There's one where John shrinks down to miniature size and Sherlock dub cons him penetratively with a cotton swab.

I know of that one. Feel like I made the right choice skipping it tbh...

There's one where John gets turned on by My Little Pony and he and Sherlock do gen 4 pony play.

NOT MY LITTLE PONY! COME ON GUYS! That's low even for Sherlock fandom!

I've read at least a couple of things in Sherlock fandom that I would never mention to a soul. So...yea, I feel you.
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 06:26 am (UTC)(link)
The one where they fuck cake is actually pretty legitimate and why is that a sentence oh my god what did I just say.

Anyway it's played for humor.

I can't believe the cotton swab one is so POPULAR *shudders* But then omegaverse is widely popular in Sherlock fandom and I won't even touch those fics with a ten foot pole.

I keep mental lists of things I find most scarring on the internet and so far things the Sherlock fandom fill up most of the list. I don't know what it is about that fandom that makes them come up with so many creative and disturbing ways to make two people have sex with each other, but damned if you don't find your kink if you're reading in it. Sherlock fandom's like the hundred flavor ice cream shop of porn.

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-10-09 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
Damn. I was convinced it would be Due South and I kinda gasped.

I love that show but was too late to participate in the fandom. :(
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 06:29 am (UTC)(link)
:D :D :D We were just talking about you down thread. Glad to see you awake for the subject of weird porn.

Edit: uh, upthread. I had no clue in the thread where it was.
Edited 2012-10-09 06:30 (UTC)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-10-09 06:37 am (UTC)(link)
It's kinda starting to bother me how unphased I am by weirdness anymore. Except every so often the most innocuous thing will set me off.

The other day I was skimming a Zeus/Hades dub-con thing on AO3... not really sure why but I bust out laughing and quit reading when Zeus said something like "I'm going to tear your pants off".
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
It's not pairings that weird me out so much as weird acts but I am also starting to not really be surprised anymore.

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-10-09 06:40 am (UTC)(link)
I was weirded out laughing at Hades wearing pants. Which... I don't even know why that was the dealbreaker. I've stuck with way weirder stories written way worse.
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 06:41 am (UTC)(link)
Hahaha just realized he wears a robe and not pants GOLD.

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-09 06:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl - 2012-10-09 06:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) - 2012-10-09 06:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
It sounds out of character, that's what. It's too modern!

Have you read Priapus? I linked to it yesterday in the nsfw gifs thread and the Priapus version of Zeus saying that is ROFL-worthy.

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-10-09 06:46 am (UTC)(link)
I read a Wincest fic where they used ketchup as lube and it didn't even register really but pants make me BBQ?

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
OH HAI UR HERE *snuggles*

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-10-09 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
HAI!

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

(Anonymous) 2012-10-09 05:48 am (UTC)(link)
at least the melted seal blubber is fat

jam, biohazrdgrl, JAM


*cries*
biohazardgirl: (Default)

Re: A TROPE THING OF SMUT

[personal profile] biohazardgirl 2012-10-09 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
I didn't even mention the jam because it's far too common to be an anomaly in that fandom.

*cries*
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