fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2114 ]

[ SECRET POST #2114 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2114 ⌋

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Kinda ignorant and unknowing here. What is corporal punishment?

I'm not that good at English so forgive me if I borked up the translation. I guess this may make it easier to understand.

Mind of a parent: Education --> success.

For them, and especially my father, "Entertainment --> lower grades" or "Laziness --> lower grades". Some parents think "Entertainment --> Laziness --> lower grades". So, they think that to improve their children, they must either cane the laziness out of their children or restrict them to entertainment. Or both. Or switch them. Or punish you for entertainment when you should have been doing your tuition homework (happens far too often).

Don't ask me how this logic works. Even I'm confused as you do. O__O

Corporal punishment is physical punishment, hitting / spanking / caning. Non-corporal punishment does not involve pain.

I think the thing that people are objecting to is the idea that there's a natural link between "Caring about your child's education and wanting them to succeed and take things seriously" and "hitting your kids." You seem to be saying, essentially, that Western parents don't hit their kids because they don't care about their kids' education and just want their kids to be entertained, whereas Asian parents do hit their parents because they care about their education - in other words, that Western parents don't hit their kids because they don't care about them and just want to let them watch TV all day. Can you see why that would be pretty anger-inducing to some people?

You can care about your kids' education and take that shit seriously without hitting them; conversely, you can take it lightly and be a shitty parent and hit your kids. "Hitting your kids" as a parenting strategy does not have a 1:1 match with "taking education seriously". My parents never let me watch TV; they placed enormous stress on doing homework, studying, doing well, and being respectful and hard-working. They never once hit me. You know? It's that kind of overgeneralization that's making people get a little weird.

...
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Huh. To be honest, I never actually thought of that before.

At the risk of sounding like a complete idiot, I'm kinda imagining you arguing with my father, the disiplinary teacher of my school and my religious studies teacher about your views.

Well, if I were completely honest, not all parents around here use physical punishment to their children. But the idea of using it as a deterrent to lazy schoolwork has been around for so long that most would use some form of it.

Haha. I'm sure that would be a fun conversation. Especially the religious dimension - I went to a Catholic school, and when I heard stories from people who went there when I was growing up, they did use corporal punishment, stopped maybe 25 or 30 years before I went there, and lord am I glad they did stop. But they still did a damn fine job of making sure that no one screwed around, and I don't think they would have screwed around less if we had been hit.

People took learning seriously (another thing I just remembered: my parents didn't let me have video games till I was probably 12 or 13, and then it was limited to only before noon on Saturday morning). It's just that you really don't need to hit kids to have discipline.

As the anon said, corporal punishment means physical punishment -- hitting, spanking, caning, etc.

A parent can be completely against corporal punishment and still completely value education. There's absolutely no connection between the two. There might have been a connection in your father's mind, but that's only in your father's mind. Objectively, they aren't connected at all.

My parents are the two most educated people in our family and have always encouraged my education above all else -- even entertainment was viewed as a road to education when I was growing up. They're also strongly against hitting as a punishment. Frankly, it's kind of offensive to suggest that because someone didn't get caned as a kid, their parents don't care as much about their education.

...was it really offensive? I didn't think of it when I wrote that.

You are one lucky commenter, you know that? I got belted by my dad for not doing my homework and my religious studies teacher would use his ruler on our hands if we don't do our homework as well. To be honest, I don't like using the cane on anybody unless he or she has intentionally injured someone.

Edited 2012-10-17 02:31 (UTC)

Honestly, yeah, it is offensive. I mean, you basically said that if parents don't hit their kids they don't value their kids' education. I get why you said that, but uh, my parents most definitely valued my education despite not hitting me.

And I'm certainly lucky in that particular regard. Not so lucky in other ways, but yes, I'm grateful I grew up in a household and a school system without corporal punishment.

Talk about different lives, eh? :)

Okay, now I'm curious. How do you deal with troublesome kids in your school? It's been so long since I've talked to anybody who hasn't been hit by some object when they've done something wrong.

I actually would rather not cite that because I'm an assistant teacher, not a head teacher, and I have absolutely no control over the discipline here. Corporal punishment is still practiced in some schools here, which I don't agree with at all. At my school, it's not, but the main form of punishment is yelling at and humiliating kids, which I'm pretty ambivalent on. That is, I have yelled once or twice, and I've seen the value in mildly embarrassing a kid if that's something that will work on that kid. But I see teachers really screaming at kids over basically nothing and I find it really hard to take.

Personally, I support the American idea of after-school detention or other kinds of productive punishment in schools.

What are productive punishments?

I mean things that will require the kid to be productive like extra homework or classroom chores. For something like bullying, that's more difficult... but yelling and hitting is probably not going to fix that shit either.

Your version of productive punishment wouldn't have worked for me lol. I liked doing chores and extra homework. Anyway, I don't think any kind of punishment would fix bullying because punishment rarely address why the kid is bullying others.

My parents punished me by STOPPING ME from doing any reading for recreation.

I was a weird child.

Nerds unite!

tbh I see humiliation and yelling as ten times worse than something like spanking. It would've fucked my world up when I was younger.

I agree with an anon below that basically said that you have to tailor discipline to the child's needs. Some kids respond better to certain types, some won't. Like productive punishments really pissed one of my friends off. He worked better with stern lecture/disappointment types.

Wow, so humiliating is accepted but few slaps on the butt aren't? Talk about different standards. But then again, I've noticed that USA is a culture of constant shaming and humiliation as a whole (not individually).

I guess it's like that joke we have here about USA. If a female teacher hugs a boy here, it'll be a sign of comfort. If it happens in states, then the boy would scream and spend years in therapy.

Uh, I actually don't live or work in the US, so this entire comment is a misfire.

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[ SECRET POST #2114 ]

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Re: Punishing kids (trigger warning)

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Re: Punishing kids (trigger warning)