fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2116 ]

[ SECRET POST #2116 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2116 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Deacon Frost, Blade]

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[Legend of Korra]

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[Luke Wilson]

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[Transformers: Shattered Glass]

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[marvel comics]

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[Pan's Labyrinth]

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[The Walking Dead]

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[Jackass]

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[Avengers]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 020 secrets from Secret Submission Post #302.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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Sort of a follow-up survey to my question thing yesterday. I'd like to hear peoples' thoughts on grown-upness.

1.) How old are you? (General range is cool too, like late teens, mid-thirties, etc).

2.) Do you identify as an adult, a kid, or something else?

3.) Was there a point where you definitively felt you transferred to adult status? Can you describe it?

4.) What sorts of things do you feel separate you from adults/kids?

5.) Other thoughts? (Feel free to cover anything you'd like.)

I'll do my own survey to start us off.

1.) 25

2.) As somewhere in between. I've done lots of adult things, held lots of adult responsibilities, but I don't feel I'm quite "there" yet.

3.) Ibid. I felt more grown up when I started doing/deciding things for myself, but a lot of those things ended up being retarded, so I'm well aware of my brain's proclivities to go "adurr hurr" because it doesn't know better.

4.) I'm not a kid because I'm not financially dependent on my parents, and I can basically make my own decisions regarding my life. I'm not an adult because none of the adults take me seriously, and I have no idea about less than half the crap that goes on around me.

5.) I'd like to make a disclaimer: while I've had lots of experiences for someone as young as myself, I don't think that necessarily makes me into an "adult". It makes me into a fairly experienced young person.

1. Mid-twenties.

2. Adult.

3. Haha, nope. It's one step forward, two steps back. I feel like I'm lagging behind my peers tbh.

4. Well it's obvious I'm not a little kid. I can do the shopping, drive, vote, and sometimes I'm responsible for children. On the other hand I'm very fortunate that my parents let me live with them, because I can't make ends meet by myself. So like I said, I'm behind other people my age who have their own apartments/better jobs/long-term relationships (not that adults can't be single).

5. It's okay to be an adult and like things that are marketed for kids. Personal interest has nothing to do with maturity. Neither does your ability to take care of yourself (contrary to some of the things I said above, but those are my own issues), because there could be a lot of other factors working against you there, and everybody needs help in some way. Maturity, to me, is all about how you interact with other people.

1. 23

2. Adult on the outside and when I have to be... and inside, forever 12. XD

3. When I went out and bought my own phone and contract. And, after that, when I took on a job that involved traveling all over the country by myself. That was kind of a big one.

4. Responsibility is the biggest thing that separates kids from adults. Thus, there can be really young adults, and pretty old kids. There's also a kid-like uninhibited enjoyment of things that I think most adults tend to look down on as being childish and immature, but which I hope to God I never lose. Hence my feeling like an eternal 12-year-old.

1) Early twenties.
2) Yes.
3) No. Gradual sashay to adulthood with many trips back and forth. Then I just altered the landscape to suit my needs. No more traveling.
4) Adults? Being a child. Children? Being an adult.
5) I am who I am. I am responsible but I have fun. I do my work but I also play. The distinction between child and adult don't mean much to me unless I'm figuring out someone's cognitive functioning level or their ability to be 'mature'.

I feel like both. I feel like neither. So I don't label myself unless asked to in real life. Normally I let others do that.

I don't know what you asked yesterday, but I'm a sucker for a survey.

1. 24

2. I think of myself as a young adult. Not a complete adult, because I still live at home at the moment. But as that's the situation many I know are in because of the difficulty of being financially independent in this economy, I don't think of myself as being too immature because of it.

3. Since I've graduated I've found myself making important decisions about my future and sticking to them, despite family and friends disagreeing with them. It's really because of this, and because of a general sense of emotional maturity I've felt over the last year, that I've started to think of myself as an adult (rather than the awkward overgrown kid masquerading as a grown up I've previously felt like).

4. Stuff like I mentioned above - making important decisions for yourself, being responsible for your own life. I don't think I'll feel like an adult adult though until I'm living on my own, completely financially independent, and not a full time student. I'mm going back to school next year, so even though I will be moving out for that being an impoverished student again takes away from the proper grown up-nish of living on my own, for me.

5. Poop. That is to say, even when I feel like a proper adult I'm sure I'm going to be amazingly immature on occasion. On many occasions. And I'm okay with that.

1) Almost twenty
2) In between adult and kid
3) Not yet haha
4) I'm not sure? I'm pretty mature but certain mental health problems leave me pretty dependent on my mom and unable to do much.

1. 20

2. A teenager, I guess. I still live at home, and even though I've worked alongside adults for the past couple of years, and I'm treated much older than I actually am, deep inside I'm just an insecure spotty teenager angsting away about stupid stuff. :/

3. When I hit 18, and started university. Working on clinical placements has definitely matured me as a person. But then again, read above.

4. Holding a dying woman's hand, or telling families their loved ones are dead. I don't feel human then, let alone an adult or a child.

5. I wish I took a course in university that wasn't filled with responsibility and older women who've gone through life and had children and life experiences I can't even begin to relate to. I wish I could just party and be reckless and make stupid mistakes as a stupid teenager.
I wish I could be free from the chains of adulthood that bind me.

1) 23.

2) Adult

3) I took this test when I was 15 about the age of my inner child (answer: 45). I thought it was really funny, but then that same night, my mother needed money to go partying and I was the only one in the house with a job. I gave her 20 dollars and a curfew if she wanted gas money for the next day. I've also been homeless because she forgot to pay rent for a while, and I got my first apartment when I was seventeen (under her name.) So I think I've been an adult for a while.

4) Kids really don't understand the concept of the future for the most part. I made a plan to put school first, finish college, get a job, etc. at the time when most people seemed more concerned with the hotties in their class. This isn't a bad thing, but it is really obvious. The ability to plan for later and not now is a maturity thing, I think.

5) I wish I'd been a kid longer. I miss it.

1) 23

2) Still as a teenager pretty much? I don't actually feel like an adult. I doubt I ever will.

3) Neverrrr.

4) I'm mature enough to make my decisions for myself (mostly). So I'm not a kid! But I don't feel as if I always do all that well with it and have no idea what to do with my life, so I don't feel like an adult either.

5) I think probably a lot of people are caught up in the same place I am. The difference is that I've been here for most of my life. I've not actually relied on adults for my decisions for a long time. Including at some points people would probably consider 'childhood.'

1.) 24

2.) Adultish

3.) It's funny, right after I graduated college I went into the work world and had to actually wear like office clothes, and for about a year and a half I felt like a Real Life Adult. And then I started law school and reverted to jeans, t-shirts, and doing dumb things like getting drunk and throwing up and being a dork. So yes there was a moment, but apparently it didn't stick.

4.) Well I pay my own rent for the first time in my life, and at least my first round of law school tuition was all on me too, so in that sense I feel like an adult. But in other ways, like eating peanut butter and jelly from the jar and calling that breakfast, I feel more like a kid than I ever have.

5.) I feel like the whole adult/kid distinction is a sign that you're still somewhat in the kid category? My maturity level wasn't something I worried so much about when I was working etc.

1.) 23

2.) Neither. See 3.

3/4) I don't believe in separating adult/child based on age or a single experience. I think once people can communicate with others and can look after themselves in terms of basic needs, they become physically independent. For example, by the time I was six I knew how to buy food from the market, how to prepare and cook my own meals from scratch, how to do laundry by hand, how to do basic home cleaning tasks, how to read and write and how to use a dictionary to look up the words I didn't know. Yes I was financially dependent on my parents but I wasn't dependent on them to look after myself. So if they were to be in an accident and couldn't be able to physically care for me anymore, I wouldn't die.

Did that mean by the time I was six, I no longer needed my parents? No! I still relied on them for lots of things like money and guidance and hugs on bad days. I think of things like social skills, financial independence and physical independence as skill sets. People with really low social skills can be financially and physically independent. People with great social skills can be financially independent on someone else, and people who are financially independent can be physically dependent on others. Plus, skills sets can be upgraded. There're always things to learn, new ideas to explore.

I don't give a damn if you still live with your parents or are a stay-at-home mom or aren't great at small talk. I don't care what sex you are or what race you are. It doesn't matter if you are five or fifty. You are a person. I will be polite to you.

1. 45
Oldest so far!
2. Adult
3. When i got married (i was 17) i felt like i was an 'adult' to the world. However, i am still 18 in my head in a lot of ways.
4. The usual. Responsibilities, age-related things i can do, etc. But also - the ability to have things happen unexpectedly, or have *bad* things happen, and it not be the end of the world. I don't fall apart when something goes wrong, i don't lose it when i'm surprised by a sudden change in plans or obstacle in the road.
5. In a lot of ways, i was 'older' than my peers growing up because my parents were older than their parents, and i spent a lot of time alone and/or with older people (the hospital crowd my dad worked with). But i don't have the same outlook as many of the people i know who are my age. They act and think 'old' - it's just weird, and i don't get it.

I'm comfortable looking my age, happy that i don't feel compelled to 'act' it.

They act and think 'old' - it's just weird, and i don't get it.

Totally nosy curiosity -- do you have kids? It seems like nearly all the people I know who think "old" have kids -- but maybe that's just a coincidence.

Or maybe it isn't -- I'm old enough to be the parent of some of my closest friends but I can hang out with them for hours without feeling a generation gap. Until someone mentions using a computer or microwave when they were five, then suddenly I'm shaking a metaphorical cane and telling them to get off my technologically-deprived-childhood lawn.

Yup. A daughter. Waited until i was thirty, though, so that sets us apart from most of the people our age or younger who all seem to have kids as soon as they can. (And honestly, they all seem like spoiled brats, constantly whining about how having a kid makes it soooo haaaaaard to party.... Wtf.)

Oh, man. People who always had cells phones, computers, the internet - it's nuts. I just kinda shake my head - we had a land line, computers were room-sized things and why on *earth* would you want one at home? So much stuff is different now, even though it's not all that long ago - my daughter's childhood was 180 degrees different than ours in terms of technology and access and knowing about the whole wide world....

1.) 24

2.) In-between, I guess. I feel old when I'm around younger people, and young when I'm around older adults.

3.) I don't feel like I've reached that point yet, necessarily. I haven't done a lot of the things that define adulthood to me, like work a full-time job, live on my own, or live totally financially independent of my family. But I felt grown up when I realized that I could make my own decisions and didn't need my parents' permission. For me, what made a big impression was the relatively superficial things. I don't feel like I have to eat meat anymore, and I can watch whatever I want without worrying about hiding it.

4.) I think most of it comes down to personal responsibility. When you're an adult, you have to take more responsibility for your choices and needs. You can't take for granted that you won't have to.

5.) I think experience and maturity plays a big role, too. But that's a harder way of defining adulthood. I feel like I'm more adult because of the maturity I've gained over the last several years, but there are adults out there who are very immature and never really learn. And there are young people who have a lot of experience. So while becoming an adult generally means gaining experience and maturity, I feel like those are things that are hard to pinpoint or generalize about.

1.) 49

2.) Adult (who isn't afraid of acting like a kid)

3.) At the time, the first time I lived completely independently from my parents. Somewhat after the fact, the first time I lived completely independently of anyone. (ie, no roommates, of either the SO variety or otherwise.) These days, I'd say it was when I was ~25, which is maybe not so coincidentally after about a year of living completely independently? I always figured that made me a late bloomer, but maybe not.

4.) The maturity to pretty consistently choose to do what's "best", instead of what's most fun or easiest. And the judgement to know when it's ok to say "screw it" and choose the fun option anyway. (Cereal, it's what's for dinner! Sometimes.)

5.) Adult can be defined a lot of different ways -- I'm choosing to define it as maturity of judgement. Based on that yardstick, I've met a lot of teens and even a kid or two, who're adults. And I've met an annoying number of "adults" who weren't.

1) 33

2) Adult - not like I have a lot of options at this point!

3) There were three points where I felt like I gained a greater degree of adult status. The first was when I went off to college. This was probably the point where I first felt like I was really an adult because I went to school quite a ways from home so even though I was living in a dorm and didn't have to cook and wasn't responsible for paying my way beyond pocket money, I was still away from my parents and generally had to function on a day-to-day basin on my own. The second was when I started grad school and for the first time I was financially independent and living on my own in an apartment rather than a dorm, so I had to deal with things like groceries and bills. Also, grad school involved a lot less hand-holding than college so I had to become more self-motivated academically. The third time was when I got my first post-grad school job. I already saw myself as an adult by that point, but now I felt I had finally gained some of the external trappings of adulthood and would be percieved as an adult by others more readily.

4) I think adulthood is about gaining the skills to live independently of any kind of parent/guardian/caretaker figures (with exceptions made for physical limitations and economic downturns). The fact that I know how to take care of myself - and my ability to do so has been tested - separates me as an adult rather than a child.

5) As a sort of extension of #4 - and this is something that slowly dawned on me in my late 20s - life experience isn't just about the things you've been through but it's also about the amount of time you've been alive. As a teenager, people always told me I was so sensible and mature and I had friends who'd been through a lot of shit growing up and had to fend for them selves in many ways and that had seemed to give them maturity and turn them into adults at an early age. Looking back, however, none of us were really all that mature. We were just capable of being a little more serious than many of our peers and some of us had learned some adult skills. We all still had the safety net of adults looking out for us and paying our way, though, and the maturity gained with those training wheels, while helpful as a form of adulthood training, isn't the same as that gained through permanently living in the adult world, being treated as an adult (with all the expectations that entails), and simply dealing with all the banalities of being solely responsible for yourself. Becoming comfortable and secure in your maturity and not seeing it as a novelty is itself a kind of maturity.

Finally, a rant: your relationship and parenthood status have fuck all to do with adulthood, so screw you People Who Treat Single Women Without Kids As If We're Immature Morons. /totally not bitter or anything.

1.) 19

2.) Usually I identify as a "teen." "College student" when I want to be more specific, but even that feels weird sometimes. I'd feel weird calling myself a kid since I usually associate that word with twelve-year-olds at the oldest (and I really didn't feel like a "kid" even at twelve, since by the time I started middle school the adults in my life were telling me I was a "young lady now" and pushing me into many more responsibilities and giving me weird looks when I said I still liked Pokemon), but I don't feel like an adult either since I've never had a job or a baby and I still spend most of my time doing the same things I did in high school.

3.) Was there a point where you definitively felt you transferred to adult status? Can you describe it? As I said, no, but but I kind of feel like I'm going through "adult puberty" right now. Like I'm in the middle of changing to an adult. In some ways I still feel younger than I am and in some ways I feel older than I am, and some people treat me like I'm thirteen and some people treat me like I'm thirty, and some of my friends act like immature middle school brats doing the stupidest things while other friends act way older than me, like they've been supporting themselves for years and know what they want their life to be and how to get there. And in a lot of ways I kind of feel the same awkward way I did at puberty when I wasn't ready to take on all these new responsibilities, but at the same time kind of sick of how bratty I am. 'xD

4.) What sorts of things do you feel separate you from adults/kids? Feel like I kind of explained this above, so I'll skip.

Sorry for the tl;dr.

Mid-20s.

Adult.

Some time after I turned 20, but well before I turned 21 - probably sometime the summer after my 20th birthday. I spent the summer in Chicago living with a couple of friends, instead of going back home to stay with my parents. I had gone through a major period of depression which had started to clear up during spring, and I don't know, I feel like coming out of that period, I figured out a lot of shit about myself and how I wanted to live life. And then that summer, living on my own - I had just moved out of the dorms, it was my first time in an apartment, it was the longest I had lived away from home - I was a lot more independent, I was working part-time, I was taking care of pretty much everything for myself. The hot, muggy Chicago summer, the noise of the train rolling by on the tracks outside my window, the calm quietness of a college neighborhood in summer - I don't know, something about all of that, the independence, the change in attitude, the change in surroundings, I stopped thinking of myself as a kid.

Taking shit more seriously, I guess. I sure don't have everything figured out.

1.) How old are you?
Twenty-five.

2.) Do you identify as an adult, a kid, or something else?
As an adult.

3.) Was there a point where you definitively felt you transferred to adult status? Can you describe it?
Yes, actually! Going to Arizona on exchange and living on my own for the first time. I was twenty-three when I left and turned twenty-four shortly before coming home - when I left, I felt like an overgrown teenager, when I got back, I felt like an adult. It's hard to explain, but my relationships with family changed - I grew closer to my Mum and grandmother as people, I stopped bickering with my brother, and, unfortunately, I started growing apart from another family member (who has her own issues and coped with her youngest son turning eighteen by... running away to Prague and not coming back).

4.) What sorts of things do you feel separate you from adults/kids?
Responsibilities, especially around the house. Taking an active role in my own future, instead of just being a dependent. Having a concept of planning ahead for the future, and a more realistic view on How To Do Life - as an example, when I was making a shopping list, one of the kids gave me a long list of things he wanted (chips, ice cream, chocolate, stuff for nachos, meat pies, et cetera, et cetera) and a fifty-dollar note, and generously told me I could keep the change. I didn't quite have the heart to tell him that the weekly shop was generally $200-250, much of which was stuff for him and the other teenage boy.

1) Late 20s
2) Neither. I feel like I'm being pulled into adulthood but I am fighting it tooth and nail.
3) Nope. I've always had to be more responsible that most kids on account of having a single immigrant parent. I had to gradually increase help in read leases for renting an apartment and signing up for utilities since I was still pre-teen so normal adult duties are not very adult-like to me.
4) Kids can get away with stuff adults can't.
5) -

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2116 ]

Adulthood

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