fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2119 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2119 ⌋

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The siblings of one of my metamours have found out that she is polyamorous (and also bi) and are forcing her to come out to their very conservative christian parents. By doing this they are also essentially cutting her out of celebrating their father's birthday; not by actually stating it as such, but by being judgemental assholes so that she simply cannot cope with attending. The relationship we have between all of us and our mutual partner makes her happy (by her own admission), but the family says it's destructive and deviant. Kind of ironic, seeing that she has told us that it is the oppressiveness of family and its values which hurts her the worst.

Beyond being there for her with a shoulder to cry on and listen, I don't know what to do. It's frustrating to want to barge in there and give them what for, and knowing that I can't/it wouldn't help any.

I don't know if the judgemental family will listen to this, but remind them that she is still the same person from before they found out. It doesn't make sense that her situation now is destructive and deviant when she was okay before.

Just, like, remind them what things are still the same and maybe they'll realize it's not that big of a deal. :\

Is she really happy with the relationship she's in? Or are you too close to the issue to really say one way or another without bias?

And what kind of conservative christians? Practicing? Vacational? What denomination? What are their views on certain issues? What kind of choices has she made in the past that could possibly color their views on this matter? Maybe the family has a point.

What the fuck is this comment. No. Just no.

The hell is wrong with you?

Um, NO. The person being forcibly outed by her family has stated that she's happy in her relationship, and we have no reason, based on what was shared, to doubt or question that.

What kind of conservative Christians are her family? The kind that would forcibly out her against her will. The kind that would condemn and reject her based on her sexuality and relationship. No one who uses the word "deviant" to refer to anybody's relationship has a point; it is not a legitimate or valid criticism. Their views are closed-minded and homophobic. There is no "point" that they have here. What the actual hell are you even thinking?

What is a vacational conservative christian?

Also, you're an idiot.

How about NO.

As I've already stated, she told us this herself. About how she's becoming more confident in the interaction between people, specifically but not exclusively the relaxed friendly affectionate type and how happy that makes her.

As for type of christians, does "father is a pastor in tent meeting type of church" count? Given the area they live in, it's most likely Pentacostal, even though she never specified. The values are very much traditional family-oriented and no gays ever!
We live in a very secular country, but that county is overrun by churches and evangelical parishes.

So yeah, you're way out of line.

Wow, Sal, you weren't kidding, were you? They bought it hook, line, and sinker. It's stuff like this that make me miss the old days.

This is not an approporiate thread for trolling. Do consider the subject and kindly fuck off.

I'm sorry that's being done to her, it's damn awful that they'd pull that kind of shit on their sibling. They're probably hoping being judged by their parents will shame her into abandoning her "destructive deviant lifestyle", but all it's going to do is put a rift between her and the family, possibly permanently. Of course, they'll probably blame the "lifestyle" for it instead of their own bullying and close-mindedness. All you can do is what you've been doing, support and listen, sounds like she'll really need it in the future.

Yeah... The thing is, she's resented being part of a super!christian family for a long time now, but have thus far not told her family, yet. What makes things even worse is that her father is a pastor. Tent meeting kind of pastor. The regular (ex-"state" church seems to be generally a little bit more forgiving. Just a little bit.

It's hard to not be able to be there in person, as we're living quite some miles away from each other. But at least I can be there over the net. That's something, right?

[ SECRET POST #2119 ]

Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

To the king of the trolls...

Re: To the king of the trolls...

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.

Re: Forced outing. Poly+bi+conservative family=a whole lot of hurt.