[ SECRET POST #2122 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2122 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 034 secrets from Secret Submission Post #303.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: COMPLETELY SERIOUS QUESTIONS

[(Anonymous)]

you don't think there is a screwed up power dynamic between derek and any human on the show? or even derek vs his betas?

you don't think derek tries to break scott down in order to have scott join his pack?

and what the hell, i didn't know there were only a few categories that could classify something as 'abuse'. that is very strange and honestly your whole reply makes me feel uncomfortable.

Re: COMPLETELY SERIOUS QUESTIONS

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, trying to quantify what is and isn't abuse makes me uncomfortable too. I'm not attempting to convince you that Derek isn't abusive, I'm more like trying to sort out why I don't get the gross feelings that abuse gives me from anything he does.

I don't think Derek is in charge of any human on the show, and everybody knows it. In other words, he may smack Stiles' head against the steering wheel, but he's not ripping the brakes out of his Jeep so he can't visit any of his friends. As for the betas -- Derek is a very poor alpha, but mostly what I saw in his relationship with them was bad attempts at training them. When Boyd and Erica wanted to leave, they were able to.

I think Derek tries to persuade Scott to join his pack. I've never seen him do something like undermine Scott's sense of self-worth so he'll feel dependent on Derek.

Like, in real life, if my friends were going out on madcap adventures with a guy who was as prone to violence as Derek, I'd hate him and I'd be afraid of him and I'd warn them to stay away from him. But I have a different set of responses for fiction, and I think in fiction violence and power have to be coupled more thoroughly for something to register as abusive (to me). In a show that tosses violence around as casually as TW does, I just don't get worked up about it, you know? Scott, Stiles, Lydia, Jackson and Allison suffered no psychological harm when they lit a dude on fire and then watched Derek rip his throat out. If the show brushes that kind of violence away as consequence-free, then I find it hard to take it seriously when Derek crowds someone against a wall.

Re: COMPLETELY SERIOUS QUESTIONS

[(Anonymous)]

i....really don't know what to say to this, and your reply only made me more uncomfortable, honestly. so let's just agree to disagree on the topic cause i think we are viewing it in totally different ways.

Re: COMPLETELY SERIOUS QUESTIONS

[(Anonymous)]

That's fine! Have a nice rest of your whatever time it is

Re: COMPLETELY SERIOUS QUESTIONS

[(Anonymous)]

If the show brushes that kind of violence away as consequence-free, then I find it hard to take it seriously when Derek crowds someone against a wall.

This is one of the biggest problems with the show and fandom, that fans will explain away Derek's actions as abusive or controlling, then turn around and fetishize it in fiction so him 'barely' hurting Stiles is an act of twu wuv. Rape becomes fetishized in Sterek, along with dubcon and knotting and physical violence. It's all okay if it's love, right? I am so fearful for TW fandom, mostly because it's made of impressionable kids who think this crap is how love works. Sadly, it's obvious from the fiction that a lot of it is written by kids who have never had sex, but are already thinking this is what's hot. I guess we can all thank Twilight for manufacturing so many Bellas, and making our everything about the big, strong men who own, dominate, and control us. Thanks, Twilight.

Re: COMPLETELY SERIOUS QUESTIONS

[(Anonymous)]

Sadly, romanticizing of rape and domestic violence isn't really something that's exclusive to Teen Wolf fandom or even younger fans. I actually personally have no problem with kinks dealing with power and control and violence, and I even enjoy fic involving some of them on occasion. But the fact that large parts of fandom (as in all fandoms in general) don't want to take the time to stop and recognize that, while it's okay to write about and even enjoy taboo and/or problematic subjects in fiction and to have kinks that involve things like non-con, there at least needs to be a bit of recognition that those things are not romantic or the equivalent of love or something that you actually want to be a part of your relationships in real life (outside of consensual role play with clearly established rules and boundaries, of course). There are a lot of people (and they're not all young) who read those things and, after seeing them over and over and over, internalize them. It happens outside of fandom and in media in general, too, which is part of the reason why things like rape culture and slut shaming and victim blaming are so pervasive. So, the subjects themselves aren't what's so bad, but it's the trying to pass them off or down play them as signs of "true love", like you said. (Sorry, that was basically just a long-ass way for me to pretty much agree with you. I just have a lot of feelings on the matter.)

As an aside, as much as I dislike Twilight and think it's chock full of terrible messages and problematic elements, I don't think that you can set the blame for the emphasis in a lot of media and fiction on women wanting men who are big and strong to dominate and control them squarely on the shoulders of Bella and Edward. The series definitely contributed to some of the recent fervor around supernaturally-themed love stories and further romanticized the idea of the controlling, stalkery love interest, but those basic ideas and tropes have existed for a really, really long time, and have been a pretty pervasive part of Western culture and literature for centuries, if not longer. Twilight definitely hasn't done anyone any favors in that area, but it's not the sole source of the problem, either.