case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-10-28 03:33 pm

[ SECRET POST #2126 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2126 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 106 secrets from Secret Submission Post #304.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 08:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I come from a very warm and loving immigrant family. But recently I realized that if someone were to take a transcript of our conversations with each other (and translated parts of it), they would think what's going on is emotional abuse. For example, my dad calls my mom what translates to "big fat animal" and she calls him by the name of her neighbor's dog when she wants to tease him and make him to something. They also kid each other about being fat all the time.

To me, my father constantly calls me fat (which is a joke because I'm skinny as a spaghetti -- my older sister was obese in childhood and he never ever called her fat until after she'd lost a significant amount of weight and was about the same size as me), asks me if he should go beat up my mother or me (and my standard response is, "I'll beat you up first", and no, no one in my family has ever laid a hand on each other), and ever since I hit puberty he's teased me by calling me his language's equivalent of "titties", and I called him that language's equivalent of "big fat gut".

He also likes to call me piglet or puppy. (About as much as he calls me "sweetheart" and "my baby", which is often.) I want to be perfectly clear, none of any of these things are said outside the family, or in anger. It's all in a teasing affectionate tone. But since no one else ever hears any of us do it, I can only assume that if other people do it to, they're hiding it. So TL:DR, F!S, does your family use insults and insulting terms affectionately?

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Not really insulting, but my parents call me:

Monster, Trouble, or Pain.

We also swear at each other a lot, usually when one of us is teasing another (which is pretty much every time we're in the same room :P), but it's never meant in a nasty way.

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
My friends certainly do it, where we talk to each other like "you bitch you ate my bagel".
Some families or people with close relationships do that. I really don't think it's uncommon.
intrigueing: (no hard feelings point break)

Re: Insults of Endearment

[personal profile] intrigueing 2012-10-28 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL my family literally screams super-exaggerated over-the-top sarcastic insults and threats and lurid derogatory metaphors at each other when we're in a good mood. We're only polite when we're not getting along. I didn't realize other families didn't do this for an embarrassingly long time -- I just thought my friends' families were being polite in front of me the way my family was polite in front of guests.

This also probably explains a whole hell of a lot about my taste in certain fictional characters and ensemble casts *sideeyes icon*
forgottenjester: (Default)

Re: Insults of Endearment

[personal profile] forgottenjester 2012-10-29 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Your story of your realization reminds me of something similar. It's kind of like how I found out that other people don't talk about sex/politics/religion/murder/anything-you-can-debate-really at the dinner table. A friend had to discreetly stop me from making vagina jokes/debating how horrible periods are when I was at her house once. I hadn't said anything yet, luckily, but being my friend she knew exactly what I was going to respond with when her father brought up a similar but more "safe" topic. I think I was in high school.

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-29 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
Same! And I love it so much, it's a warm bath of family love. Especially when I've been away for a while, when I come home and sit around with my mum and brother trading quickfire insults, live-mocking the news, etc, etc, it's the best thing in the world.

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
While my family doesn't often call each other names, if my dad cuts or bruises himself he'll jokingly say mom did it. About the only thing my mom would hurt is a fly.

And I often respond to my dads teasing by saying I'm going to give him a knuckle sandwich. He always laughs at it, so it stuck.

I sometimes call my dog a hell-spawn too, but say it in a baby-talk voice.

So yup.

Re: Insults of Endearment

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-10-28 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I used to call our parakeet hell-spawn! But in an angry voice because for some reason he loved when we sounded angry. His actual name was "Pretty Feathers" so I can understand why he'd prefer hell-spawn.

I started calling my mother's new cat (she promised no more cats) Butt Munch because she was licking her butt on my bed and now it's the only thing she responds to.

Mom is not pleased.

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
My dad likes to call us Communists when we don't agree with him.


I'm not even sure where it came from. since my entire family is like socialist hippies.
caecilia: (Jade :D)

Re: Insults of Endearment

[personal profile] caecilia 2012-10-28 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Lol, my mom calls us terrorists when we don't eat leftovers.

Re: Insults of Endearment

[personal profile] anonymouslyyours 2012-10-28 09:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. The more creative the insult the more affection conveyed. And pretty much nothing is off limits, even our actual insecurities.

My brother's nickname is "butthead" because he was born breech and the midwife was convinced his butt cheek was his head to the point where she and my mother had a huge fight over it.

My sister also loves insulting my looks and her favorite comeback is always some creative variation of "so's your face". The joke being that we look very much alike.

Everyone rags on everyone's fashion choices even though we literally have a communal closet.

It's at the point where when I yell for someone I have to use a curse or an insult so they know I'm not mad. Funnily enough we only use commonly accepted terms of endearment when we're really angry.

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I had a close circle of friends in high school and we used to rib on each other all the time and pretend to be really upset about things that we weren't actually upset about at all and act all over-dramatic. The fact that we knew the drama was an act and the ribbing wasn't malicious was a demonstration of how close we were. Then I'd go and do things with the Girl Scouts and after a couple of incidents of people thinking I had anger management issues or was being mean, I felt like I had to walk around on egg shells and handle everyone with kid gloves.

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 10:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Every family has a secret. And that secret is that they are not like other families.

Re: Insults of Endearment

(Anonymous) 2012-10-28 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
lol yeah, my sister and I call each other terrible, terrible things all of the time and it's (almost) always affectionately. I'm pretty sure most people who over hear us would assume we despise each other (and might consider calling the cops if they heard us say something like "If you don't stop, I'll stab you when you're sleeping")
forgottenjester: (Default)

Re: Insults of Endearment

[personal profile] forgottenjester 2012-10-28 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. ALL THE TIME. I don't know if we can get through a conversation without "insulting" each other. It's not even just nicknames. We just rip into each other.

But it's all in good fun and most of the time it's us communicating our love for one another. We do it the "normal" way too. We just also do it through insults.

I do it with my friends too. It's carried over. We'll get into full on insult wars. But, again, we love each other.

Actually, I think strangers are the only people I don't do this with. And online being full of strangers is why I've never done it here. It's kind of funny. If you met me in real life you might think I was a horrible person.
greenvelvetcake: (Default)

[personal profile] greenvelvetcake 2012-10-29 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
My family doesn't often, except for the occasional playful "You're cruisin' for a bruisin'" if I'm being a smartass.

My friends and I rag on each other constantly.
tabaqui: (Default)

Re: Insults of Endearment

[personal profile] tabaqui 2012-10-29 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
Pretty much. We make gruesome jokes and call each other names and such. Sometimes i worry that we'll get into trouble because we say stuff to my mom like 'go do the dishes, old women, or we'll send you to the home!' Totally joking, of course, and my mom always says something back like 'see how s/he treats me? When we're alone, s/he beats me!'

It's just - how some families are. I call my daughter The Monstrous Bebe and horrible child sometimes. When i'm not calling her Dolly and petite chou.

Conversely...

(Anonymous) 2012-10-29 04:17 pm (UTC)(link)
...more conventional endearments can be really grating. My mom still calls me "kukla mou" ("my doll") although I'm almost 30 and she knows I don't like it. I've wondered for years if it has something to do with the way she has always insisted that I'm "just like her."